Dreams and Disasters - venusthemirror - Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms (2024)

Chapter 1

Chapter Text

Will huffed in frustration as he tried, and failed, to tie his tie for the fourth time. It’s not like he had a dad around who could help him, and his mom was still at work, so he was left to fend for himself. He paused the YouTube tutorial he had been following, then snapped a picture of his outfit and texted it to Hazel.

Will Solace: I cant figure out how to tie my tie, do u think my outfit looks nice enough without it

A minute later, she replied.

Hazel Levesque: You look fine! In fact, I think Nico may be underdressed.

Will Solace: ok thank you, i just wanted to make sure cause every time ive seen your dad he’s been wearing a full on suit

Hazel Levesque: Haha, those are his work clothes. He always dresses pretty formally, though, it’s an Italian thing. Which doesn’t explain why Nico is still wearing a hoodie right now… I’m going to go make him put on something nicer. I’ll see you in a bit :)

Will Solace: ok thanks again and see you soon :D

Will gave his outfit a final once-over in the mirror. A button down, a sweater over it, nice pants, dress shoes. He patted his pockets as he made his way to the front door; phone, keys, wallet. It was all there, yet he felt like he was forgetting something. His stomach churned with anxiety. He considered taking some of his medication, but decided against it. He wasn’t going to have a panic attack; it was perfectly normal to be nervous, given the situation he was about to face.

Right as he was leaving the house, his mom got home from work. She met him halfway down the driveway.

“Oh, don’t you just look so handsome,” she gushed, tugging at the collar of his shirt. “Are you heading out?” Will nodded. “Weren’t you gonna bring those flowers?”

With a start, Will realized what he had forgotten. He rushed back inside, his mom right behind him, and grabbed the bouquet of flowers he had left sitting in a glass of water in the sink. They were roses, Nico’s favorite. Will had carefully inspected each one of them, making sure to remove any thorns.

“Thanks, Mom,” he said, leaning down to press a kiss to her cheek. “I’ll see you later.”

“Bye, hon,” she called after him. “Be safe!”

“I will!”

Will started up his truck and pulled out of the driveway, anxiously tapping his fingers on the steering wheel as he began to drive towards Nico’s house. It was a Friday night, almost a week since Will, Nico, and the rest of their friends had collaborated as a single band and won their competition. They had split the prize money between the eight of them; it hadn’t come out to much, and Will had used it to buy Nico flowers.

Even if this had been a regular date, just him and Nico, Will still would’ve been nervous. But he had been invited over to Nico’s house for dinner; his entire family was going to be there. Since the other time Will had been over was under less than ideal circ*mstances, Nico’s family had wanted to meet him again, formally and officially. Hazel had assured him that Frank had gone through the same thing at the beginning of the summer and survived, but that did nothing to soothe Will’s nerves as he pulled into Nico’s driveway.

He checked his hair in the rearview mirror, then applied some chapstick, just in case. Then he walked up to the front door and rang the doorbell.

Hazel answered the door, wearing a pretty purple dress. She gave him a welcoming smile. “Hey! Let me go grab Nico, give me just a second.”

She disappeared back into the house. Will heard her call out Nico’s name, as well as, “Wait, hold on, take the apron off,” and then a moment later, Nico came into view.

“Not a word about the shirt,” he grumbled.

“Well, hello to you, too,” Will replied, his eyes scanning his boyfriend’s outfit. He was wearing his usual ripped skinny jeans, along with a silk floral print shirt, the flowing fabric draping elegantly over his torso. Will found himself a little flustered, seeing his boyfriend dressed up like this. “I think it looks nice.”

“It was a present from Persephone,” Nico told him, pulling at one of his sleeves. “Hazel made me wear it.”

And boy, am I glad she did, Will thought to himself.

“I got you flowers,” he said, pushing the bouquet of roses into Nico’s arms. “Your favorite.”

“You— You remembered my favorite flowers?” Nico’s cheeks turned pink, and he hugged the bouquet to his chest. “I… Thank you.”

The two of them lingered there for a second, just kind of staring at each other; Nico was the first to speak again. “You should come in.”

So Will followed him inside, past the kitchen, which smelled amazing, and into the dining room, where Nico’s stepmother was setting the table. She glanced up at the two boys as they walked in.

“Persephone, could you get a vase for these flowers, please?” Nico asked.

“Oh, how lovely!” she exclaimed, taking the bouquet from him and examining it. “You brought these, Will?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Let’s see… Thornless roses, that symbolizes love at first sight. And there’s ten of them, that’s like saying ‘You’re perfect to me.’” Persephone smiled at Will. “Very romantic.”

Will’s face turned about as red as the roses; Nico’s wasn’t much better. “I— I didn’t know that when I bought them.”

Persephone laughed a little at his embarrassment. “Oh, I wouldn’t have expected you to. But I can’t help but read meaning into the flowers; it’s my job as a florist, you know.” She began to make her way out of the room. “I’ll go find a vase for these now.”

After she left, the two boys stood awkwardly in silence. Will was brimming with nervous energy, dying to break the silence in any way that he could.

“Y’know, I really didn’t know it meant love at first sight when I picked the thorns off,” he started. “But, I mean, I guess it’s fitting, since I’m pretty sure I’ve had a crush on you since the first time I saw you perform.”

Nico looked totally overwhelmed. “I… How could you have…”

Will laughed and stepped closer to him. “How could I not have? You’re like, the coolest person I’ve ever seen.”

“You— You really think that?” Nico whispered shyly, gazing up at Will with wide eyes and flushed cheeks.

Will wanted to kiss him.

And he was pretty sure that Nico wouldn't be opposed to the idea. But Will knew he should ask first, so he went to speak. “Nico? Can I—”

Just then, Hazel walked into the dining room. “Dad said to go ahead and sit down, he and Mom are going to dish up the second course.”

Nico and Will broke apart from each other, both gazing down at the floor, and moved to sit next to each other at the table; Hazel sat across from them. “Second course?” Will asked. “How many courses are there?”

“In a traditional Italian meal, there are seven,” Nico explained, and Will raised his eyebrows in surprise. “But we cut it down to four. What’s out right now is like a mix of aperitivo and antipasti.” He gestured to the table, which was covered in an assortment of fruits, cheeses, and breads. “Afterwards is primi, which is pasta, and then secondi, which is fish. Dolce is last, that’s dessert.”

“Can I go ahead and eat some of this?” Will asked. Nico nodded, so Will reached out and started nibbling on a piece of bread. Hazel tried a few different cheeses, and Nico, for his part, ate a single grape.

“Don’t fill up on bread, Will,” Hazel told him when he reached for a second piece. “It’s mostly just for absorbing your pasta sauce with.”

Will laughed a little in embarrassment. “I’m probably making all kinds of etiquette mistakes, aren’t I? Have you gotten the hang of all this stuff by now?”

“Yeah, pretty much.” She ate another bite of cheese. “We’ve been doing it for a couple years now. I’ve even picked up a decent amount of Italian at this point, though Nico and our dad usually speak English around me.”

“Wow, it must be cool to live in a multicultural household.” Will sighed dreamily. “Nico, you sounded so pretty saying all those Italian words just now.”

“You mean, the names of the dinner courses?” Nico asked, indignant. “That’s hardly even…”

Nico trailed off as Will and Hazel giggled at his reaction.

After they had been snacking for a few minutes, Hades walked into the dining room, carrying two bowls of pasta, which he set down in front of Will and Hazel. Nico’s father wasn’t wearing a suit this time, but he was still dressed very nicely, with a fancy tie around his neck. Will wondered if Hades had taught Nico how to tie a tie, and if so, whether Nico could show him how sometime.

Persephone followed, carrying a crystal vase full of Nico’s roses. The two adults went back to the kitchen one more time to grab the rest of the plates of pasta. Will noticed that Nico’s portion was only about half the size of everyone else’s, and there were several pills lined up on the side of his plate, which appeared to be vitamins. No one else seemed to think anything of it, so Will just focused on his own food.

Hades left for the kitchen once more, and returned with a bottle in his hands. “Will, would you like some wine?” he asked, and Will stiffened, feeling like he was facing some kind of test. He had never been offered alcohol by an adult before; he knew that the culture around that kind of thing was different in Italy, and he wasn’t sure if it would be rude to refuse.

“Um… I have to drive myself home after this, so I probably shouldn’t. Thank you, though, sir.”

“I’ll go get you some water, then,” Persephone offered.

Hades went ahead and poured wine for everyone else. Nico took a little sip of his; Will thought it made him look really grown up. And also, kind of hot. He pulled at the collar of his sweater and averted his gaze.

“Nico, will you say the blessing, please?” Hades asked.

Nico looked a little bit annoyed by his father’s request, but he made the sign of the cross, and everyone else did it, too. Will wasn’t Catholic, but he tried his best to copy the motion that Nico had made.

“Nel nome del Padre, del Figlio e dello Spirito Santo,” Nico recited from memory. “Benedici Signore noi e il cibo che stiamo per prendere, fà che non manchi mai a nessuno in nessuna parte del mondo, specialmente ai bambini.” He made the sign of the cross again, and Will was quick to follow. “Nel nome del Padre, del Figlio e dello Spirito Santo. Amen.”

Will had never heard Nico speak so much Italian at once; he was pretty sure there must be hearts floating in his eyes as he listened to his boyfriend’s prayer. He had understood some of it, something about food, the world, and children.

“Now, Will,” Hades started, holding up his glass, “in Italy, we always make eye contact as we toast, or else we believe it brings bad luck.” Will raised his glass up to meet Nico’s father’s, staring into his eyes, a little intimidated. “Salute,” the man said to him.

“Salute,” Will said back.

Everyone went about toasting each other. When Will turned to Nico, he wiggled his eyebrows up and down as their glasses clinked together. Nico scoffed at him.

“Buon appetito,” Nico’s father said, a signal that they could begin eating now.

Will twirled his pasta around his fork and took a bite. His eyes went wide. He glanced between both of Nico’s parents, not sure who had made it. “This is amazing! Which one of you cooked this?”

Hazel stifled a giggle with her hand. “Neither of them. You should be thanking Nico.”

Will’s jaw dropped, and he turned to stare at his boyfriend in amazement. Nico shrunk under the attention. “Close your mouth, Will,” he mumbled. “You look ridiculous.”

Will quickly snapped his mouth shut. “You cooked this?” he asked, and Nico nodded.

I’ve gotta marry him, Will thought, almost involuntarily, and then fixed his gaze back on his plate. They had only been dating for a few weeks; it was way too soon to be thinking about stuff like that.

“Everything is made from scratch, even the pasta,” Nico told him. “Mr. D says that cooking some of my own meals can help me ‘improve my relationship with food.’”

Will still didn’t really understand Nico’s eating issues, but he didn’t want to ask about them in front of everybody else. So he just listened diligently as Nico continued, “And I didn’t do it all by myself. Hazel helped.”

“All I did was open jars for you,” Hazel pointed out.

“Well, still, it’s not like I could’ve done it without you, what with this stupid cast on my arm.”

“But you did all the actual cooking.” Hazel turned to Will. “Hey, Will, you know what Nico’s apron says on it?” Her eyes glittered with amusem*nt. “‘Kiss the Cook.’”

Nico groaned in embarrassment, but Will just laughed, filing the information away for later.

“So, Will,” Persephone said. “Tell us a little more about yourself. What kinds of activities are you involved in at school?”

The interrogation had finally begun. “My brother and I are on the varsity basketball team, but the season doesn’t start until the winter. I’m the secretary of the school’s Medical Society, and I volunteer at a children’s hospital on the weekends.”

Hades raised an eyebrow. “Oh? And what does that entail?”

Will couldn’t help but smile as he talked about it. “Some people read books to the kids, but my dyslexia makes it hard for me to do that, so I usually just talk to them, or play board games, or draw with them. A lot of the kids give me their drawings; my bedroom door is covered in them by now.”

“Oh my gosh, that’s so sweet,” Hazel gushed.

Will spared a glance at Nico for a second. His boyfriend was watching him with a fond look on his face, his lips curled into a tiny smile; when he realized that Will had noticed, he quickly focused his gaze on his food. “I didn’t know you liked kids so much,” he murmured.

“Oh, I love them,” Will replied. “I’ve thought a lot about going into pediatrics.”

“You want to work in the medical field?” Persephone asked with interest.

Will nodded. “I used to think I wanted to be a trauma surgeon, or a paramedic. Those are where I could do the most good, y’know? But, uh, my hands get shaky when I’m anxious, and I don’t know if I could deal with the stress.”

“Those are both very respectable professions,” Hades commented, his tone even more serious than normal. “But I’ve seen them take their toll on the people who choose to work in those positions. I know you haven’t asked for my advice… But if you did ask me, I would encourage you to pursue a different profession, for the sake of your own well-being.”

Will felt a little shocked by that, not expecting to seriously examine his future career choices during family dinner with his boyfriend. “It all depends on how I do in med school… If I can, well, if I even make it through med school at all.” He weakly picked at his food. “I try really hard in school, but I— I have a learning disability, and I have to put in a lot of extra effort to succeed, so I just— I don’t really know…”

“There are plenty of jobs you could do without going to medical school,” Persephone reminded him. “Perhaps you could become a nurse?"

Becoming a nurse had actually been Will’s original dream, before he had started looking into becoming a doctor. It had been a long time since he had even thought about it. And he didn’t really want to get into the reasons he had gotten discouraged from pursuing nursing, so he just said, “Yeah, maybe.”

“What do your parents do for a living?” Hades asked, changing the subject.

“My mom is the manager of the restaurant that Nico’s band plays at. She cooks some of the food, too. She also plays at different open mic nights and events around the city, but that’s just stuff she does on the side, really.” Will twisted his pasta a little less happily. “My dad… He’s done a lot of things. Right now, most of his work comes from modeling. He’s also done a bit of acting, and when I was little, he released an album. And he published a poetry book last year. It’s really bad.”

“Will’s parents aren’t together,” Nico clarified for everyone.

“I see,” Hades mused. “Will, if you don’t mind me asking, how does your family feel about your relationship with my son?”

“Oh, they’re really happy about it,” Will told him. “My mom has known that I’m bisexual for a while, and she’s totally accepting. And my dad, well, he’s bi, too; it was like, this big scandal when he started publicly going out with other men, cause it was like 2010, and the paparazzi followed us all around for weeks… But uh, sorry, anyways, it’s not like he was gonna reject me, y’know?”

Will chose not to talk about his family in Texas. That situation was complicated, to say the least, and he didn’t want to drag Nico into it. His boyfriend had been lucky to find acceptance among his family, after living in fear for so long. Will didn’t want to expose him to his own conservative relatives’ intolerance.

“You called yourself bisexual… What do you mean by that?” Persephone asked.

Will was a little taken aback. “Oh, uh, it means I’m attracted to both girls and boys. Well, actually, I think I’m pretty much attracted to people regardless of their gender, and some people would probably say that makes me pansexual, but my dad has always called himself bisexual, so that’s what I call myself, too.”

Hades looked confused. “So does that mean you would be with multiple people at once?”

“No, no, it’s not like that at all!” Will fought back the urge to groan in frustration; he knew that Nico’s parents were just old-fashioned, and didn’t know any better. “I mean, some bisexual people do have multiple partners, like, uh, my dad… But I— I could never do that.” He coughed awkwardly. “Trust me, I only have eyes for one person.”

Next to Will, Nico covered his face with his good hand to hide how red his cheeks were turning.

“Okay, I think I understand now,” Persephone said, and Will sighed with relief.

Hades circled back to what they had originally been talking about. “Well, now we know what your parents do for a living, but do you know what Persephone and I do, Will?”

“She’s a florist, and you’re a funeral director, right?” Nico’s father nodded. “What’s that like?”

“A lot of paperwork,” Hades deadpanned. Will couldn’t tell if he was joking or not.

Will turned to talk to Hazel. “What about you? Do you have any idea what you want to do when you get older?”

“I’m not really sure yet,” she said to Will. “Maybe something veterinary? I really like horseback riding and working with horses.”

Will broke into a smile. “Oh, my grandparents have horses!”

“You said they live on a farm, right?” Nico confirmed.

“Yeah, just outside of Austin.”

“Your family is from Texas?” Persephone asked, looking intrigued.

“Yeah, they are. I was born there, and went to most of elementary school there, too. I know I still have a little bit of an accent sometimes; Nico says I sound like a cowboy.” Will slung his arm around the back of Nico’s chair, then leaned closer, tipping an invisible hat and winking at him. “Howdy, pardner.”

Nico giggled into his hand. “Cut it out,” he complained, and Will resisted the urge to plant a quick kiss on his cheek.

At that point, they had all finished their pasta. Nico took his vitamins, then wiped his plate clean of pasta sauce with a piece of bread, which he told Will was called “fare la scarpetta,” though he couldn’t explain why it literally translated to “doing the little shoe.”

Hades and Persephone gathered their plates, then took them back to the kitchen, saying they would bring out the third course in a few minutes. Nico, Hazel, and Will were left alone.

“Do y’all think I’m doing okay so far?” Will asked in a hushed tone of voice.

“You’re doing fine,” Hazel assured him, laughing a little. “Frank acted way more afraid than you when it was his turn to do this.”

“I just— I really want them to like me,” Will admitted.

“They already do. I can tell.” Under the table, Nico nudged Will’s foot with his own. “And besides, even if they didn’t, at least— at least I would still like you.”

Wil leaned towards him and cooed, “Aw, Neeks, sounds like you’ve got a crush on me!”

Nico blushed, almost angrily; Will wasn’t sure how he was able to pull that off. “Don’t let it go to your head.”

Persephone and Hades returned, carrying plates of fish; Will was happy to see that Nico’s portion was the same size as everyone else’s this time. Hades refilled everyone’s wine glass, while Persephone asked, “Would you like some more water, Will?”

“Yes, please. Thank you, um… I’m sorry, should I call you Mrs. di Angelo?” Out of the corner of his eye, Will noticed Nico scowl a little at that. “I just didn’t know if you and Nico’s dad are married, or…”

Persephone smiled kindly. “No, we’re not married. You can call me Ms. Levesque.”

“How long have you been living together, then?” Will asked.

“Almost since we first started seeing each other,” she replied. “Over two years now. Everything happened rather fast, at the beginning; we moved in together so that Nico could go to the same school as Hazel for eighth grade. The timing was quite fortuitous.”

Persephone poured more water for Will, then sat back down. Everyone began to eat. “What was Nico like in middle school?” Will asked, filled with curiosity.

Nico’s stepmother thought for a moment, then frowned a little. “Quiet,” she finally began. “Reclusive. He spent most of his time in his room, and usually refused to eat with us. On the rare occasions he would interact with the rest of our family, he tended to be… contentious.” Nico stared down at his food, looking highly uncomfortable, and Will regretted asking about this period of Nico’s life, when he knew that his boyfriend had been dealing with the loss of his mother and sister. “But as time went on, he opened up more,” Persephone continued, her voice growing fonder. “Especially to Hazel. There have been ups and downs, of course, but it makes me glad to see how much he’s grown since we first met.”

Will smiled a little at that, glancing over at his boyfriend, who was still glaring down at his food. Will had thought that it was just because Nico was uncomfortable, but it suddenly occurred to him that maybe it was for another reason, too.

“Nico?” Will asked. “Are you having trouble cutting your fish?”

“I didn’t have any problem with the pasta,” he grumbled. “Stupid cast on my stupid arm.”

Hazel giggled; Will would’ve laughed, too, if he hadn’t felt so bad for his boyfriend. “Here, let me help,” he offered, sliding Nico’s plate over towards himself, taking his fork out of his right hand, and picking up the knife that Nico had been unable to hold with his left. Will proceeded to cut Nico’s meal into bite-sized pieces for him, while the rest of his family watched.

“There you go.” Will pushed the plate back in front of his boyfriend. He was still holding Nico’s fork; there was a bite of fish impaled on it. Will raised the fork up to Nico’s lips, and Nico’s eyes widened in understanding and disbelief.

“Are you— Are you serious?” he asked, his face reddening as he glanced around at the rest of his family.

Will flashed his boyfriend an innocent smile. “Open wide!”

With much reluctance, Nico leaned forwards and carefully took the fork into his mouth. There was something strangely intimate about the way that the other boy held his gaze the entire time, and Will found himself feeling a little dazed as Nico snatched his fork back and grumbled, “Thanks a lot.”

They all went back to eating their food. Will thought about what he should say next; after a moment, he turned to Nico’s father. “So, we talked about what Nico was like in middle school… But what about before that? What was he like as a kid?”

What was he like before half his family died?

Hades’ voice took on an air of nostalgia. “Boisterous. Extroverted, sweet, friendly, constantly chatting away with anyone who would listen. All of the household staff adored him. He was quite mischievous, too, always sneaking out to play soccer in the square… He was very curious, and very independent. Though that tampered off a bit once we moved to America.” He took a sip of wine. “You see, in Venezia, or as you call it, Venice, everyone knows each other. There are the tourists, of course, but generally, everything is familiar and safe. I expected Nico to be excited about moving to America, but I fear the novelty of it all overwhelmed him. He did not adjust well. He became very reliant on his sister, overly attached, even, and then…”

And then she died, Will thought, and the spirit of the sweet, curious, friendly little boy that Hades described had been crushed. Will’s chest ached with an acute sense of loss. He wondered if it would ever be possible for Nico to return to such a carefree state.

“Why didn’t you move back to Venice?” Will asked softly. “After, y’know…”

Hades sighed. “That was our original plan. We still have a family home in Venezia; it’s Nico’s, actually, he inherited it from his mother, though I am the one who manages the finances on it.” Will felt pretty shocked, finding out that his boyfriend already owned a house. “It’s still exactly how we left it,” Hades continued. “As if we were planning to return any day. But though we have been back to Venezia a few times since we moved, we’ve never stayed in the house when we’ve visited. It would be… painful.”

Will nodded, wanting to seem respectful. “That does sound complicated,” he agreed. “Though I can’t say that I wish y’all had moved back to Venice, because then I wouldn’t have been able to date Nico.”

Will didn’t think he would ever get tired of making his boyfriend blush. “I’m going to go get il dolce,” Nico announced, standing up abruptly and walking out of the room.

Persephone, ever gracious, began to gather everyone’s plates, while Hades collected the empty wine glasses. Will turned to talk to Hazel. “Have you ever been to Venice?”

“Twice. It’s amazing,” she gushed. “Nico knows the city like the back of his hand; he’s an awesome tour guide. Whenever we go to Italy, we visit Rome, too, since that’s where our dad is from. And last year, we also went to Paris. My mom really liked it there. We might try to go there again the next time we make a trip to Europe.” Her eyes lit up. “Maybe you could come with us!”

“That would be really cool!” Will’s face fell a little. “I probably couldn’t afford it, though.”

“Oh, I’m sure Nico could figure something out,” Hazel assured him, though Will still didn’t really know how that could work.

Nico returned, carrying a plate of S-shaped cookies and a pitcher of milk. “These are called bussolà. They’re from Burano, one of the other islands in the Venetian lagoon. Old ladies sometimes use them to make their bedsheets smell good.”

“Well that’s interesting,” Will replied, not sure how to respond.

Persephone and Hades returned; Nico’s stepmother set out fresh glasses, while his father filled one of them from a different bottle of alcohol that he had brought from the kitchen.

“Can I have some of il digestivo, too, Dad?” Nico asked.

Hades didn’t even look up. “Not until you’re sixteen.”

“Come on!” Nico protested. “That’s only like, five months from now! What difference does it make?”

“I think you’ve had enough alcohol for the night,” his father firmly replied, and Nico’s wine-stained lips curled into a cute little pout.

“Well, I’m already sixteen,” Will informed everyone, just to tease his boyfriend.

“Oh?” Hades raised an eyebrow. “Would you like to try il digestivo, then?”

“Um… What is it, exactly?”

“It’s amaro, an herbal liqueur,” the man told him, though Will still didn’t know what any of those words meant. “In Italy, it’s a common after-dinner drink; it aids digestion. It has a higher alcohol content than wine, but just a sip shouldn’t affect you at all.”

“Okay, I guess it wouldn’t hurt to try it,” Will hesitantly agreed. Nico glared at him as his father poured some of the dark liquid into Will’s glass, just enough to barely cover the bottom. Once he had finished, Will raised the glass to his lips and drank from it, and then immediately fought back the urge to cough. The drink was bitter and syrupy and burned going down his throat; he didn’t see how anyone could possibly enjoy it, but apparently Mr. di Angelo did, and Will didn’t want to offend him, so he just smiled, though it was more like a grimace, as he choked out, “It’s— It’s good.”

“You don’t have to pretend to like it,” Hades told him, his eyes glittering with amusem*nt. “Amaro is an acquired taste.”

Some of the tension left Will’s shoulders. “I think I’ll stick to milk, for now.” He couldn’t believe that Nico had actually asked to drink the stuff.

Nico filled Will’s empty glass with milk, then instructed him to soak his cookies in the milk before eating them. When Will took a bite, he was once again impressed by the food that Nico’s family had chosen to serve him. The cookies had a rich and buttery flavor; Will finished his first one quickly, then cleared his throat.

“Grazie per avermi invitato a casa vostra, e per aver condiviso con me un pasto così meraviglioso,” he recited from memory, something he had prepared to say in advance with a little help from Google Translate.

“Thank you for inviting me to your house, and for sharing such a wonderful meal with me.”

Hades stiffened in surprise and delight. He was silent for a moment, before turning to his son and quickly asking, “Il tuo ragazzo parla italiano?”

Will caught the meaning of his entire sentence: “Your boyfriend speaks Italian?”

“Lui ci prova,” Nico grumbled in response, looking embarrassed, and Will couldn’t understand what he had said.

“Parlo un po’ d’italiano,” Will clarified. “Only a little bit.”

Hades leaned forward, speaking to Will, seeming very interested in this new development. “Dove hai imparato a parlarlo?”

Will took a second to process what he had asked: “Where did you learn to speak it?” He was grateful that the man had spoken slowly and clearly for him.

“Uh… In la scuola,” Will answered, pretty sure he had just used the wrong preposition, though Nico’s father didn’t seem to be bothered by it. “I’m taking it for my language requirement at school.”

“E perché hai scelto di studiare italiano?” Hades asked.

“I, um… Sorry, what does ‘scelto’ mean again?”

“He asked why you chose to study Italian,” Nico translated for him.

“Oh, well, perché è una lingua molto bella, and, uh… è vicino a— Nico, how do you say Latin?”

“Il latino,” his boyfriend offered. Will figured he could’ve guessed that if he tried, but he wanted to be certain.

“È vicino a il latino, e il latino è utile per, uh, i medici,” Will finished.

“Because it’s a very beautiful language, and it’s close to Latin, and Latin is useful for doctors.”

Hades looked pleased. “Da quanti anni studi italiano?”

“How many years have you been studying Italian?”

“Um… Solo un anno,” Will replied. “Only since freshman year.”

Nico’s father let out a mirthful laugh. “So you should be almost fluent, then! Pretty soon, you’ll understand me when I say…”

And then he spewed out a long string of Italian, much too fast for Will to understand. It had sounded kind of weird, different from the Italian he had heard before in class or from Nico; it was somehow more musical and rhythmic, and all he could do was stare at the man, dumbfounded.

“Dad!” Nico groaned, then shot back something that was just as fast and confusing as what his father had said a second before. Hades laughed again, then said something else, which seemed to annoy Nico even more. The two of them argued back and forth in rapid-fire weird-sounding Italian for about a minute, though neither of them appeared to be genuinely angry. Finally, they seemed to come to an agreement.

“Uh… What were you guys saying just now?” Will asked awkwardly.

“Don’t worry about it. He was just teasing you,” Nico grumbled, glaring at his father. “You’re not supposed to be able to understand us, so don’t feel bad.”

“Yes. All in good fun,” Hades agreed, though Will still felt like he was missing something important. “If you ever have any questions, or you want to practice your Italian, Nico and I will be happy to help you.”

“I did have a question, actually,” Will said, after he thought for a second. “What does ‘Porco Dio’ mean? Because Nico said it the other day, and I just wasn’t sure…”

Will trailed off as a look of horror came over Nico’s father’s face. “Niccolò!” he gasped. “What would your mother think if she heard you saying something that blasphemous!”

Nico looked totally irate. “We’re not even practicing Catholics anymore, Dad!”

“I did not raise my son to be so vulgar,” Hades admonished him.

They still hadn’t answered Will’s question, but something else had already taken hold of Will’s attention. “Wait, did he just call you Niccolò?”

Nico groaned and covered his face with his good hand. “Yes, okay? That’s my full name. But nobody calls me that anymore except for my dad. I started going by Nico when we moved to the States because people couldn’t pronounce it right, and they kept mistaking it for a girl’s name.”

“What’s so hard to pronounce about Niccolò?” Will asked.

Nico’s speech was muffled by his hand. “You’re saying it wrong.”

“What? No, I’m not! I said it just like you did, Niccolò.”

“Don’t call me Niccolò,” Nico snapped at him. “You’re not saying the C’s forcefully enough. And your O’s sound weird.”

“Say it again,” Will implored him.

“Niccolò.”

“Niccolò,” Will repeated.

“It’s still wrong.”

“Niccolò. Niccolò. Niccolò.”

“At least he’s trying to learn how to say it right,” Hazel pointed out. Nico laid his head down on the table and buried his face in his arm.

“Elbows off the table, Niccolò,” his father reprimanded with a smirk, and everyone else burst into laughter. Everyone except Nico, of course.

After they had all quieted down, Persephone began to gather up the remaining kitchenware on the table. “Hazel, please help her clean up,” Hades instructed. After a second, “Nico, you too. I’d like to have a word with Will, privately.”

Will shot a desperate glance at his boyfriend, internally screaming, Don’t leave me here! But Nico just shrugged helplessly, then walked out of the room, whispering with his sister as they left.

And then Will was alone with Nico’s father. The two of them sat in silence for a moment. The lighthearted mood from earlier was gone; everything suddenly seemed much more intense. Will had no idea what Hades wanted to talk about with him. He tucked his hands under his thighs to stop them from shaking.

“Now, Will, I’m going to ask you to be honest with me.” Hades leveled his gaze with Will’s. “What are your intentions with my son?”

Will was shocked into silence. There were probably a hundred little things he could’ve said: that Nico was pretty, that he was cute when he blushed, that Will loved their height difference and how flustered Nico got whenever they kissed. But none of those things were really intentions, and they certainly weren’t things that Will wanted to share with his boyfriend’s father. So he forced himself to think deeper, diving beneath the surface of his relationship with Nico.

“I… I want to make him happy,” Will began, his voice soft and tentative. “He’s been through so much… I— I think he deserves all the happiness in the world. He’s so selfless… He protected me from Bryce when he barely knew me, and now I sorta feel like I should return the favor, like I should protect him, too, y’know?” Will bit his lip. “Except, I know that I can’t control him, or stop him from endangering himself, so it’s more like— it’s more like I want to care for him. Like every time he’s sad, I just want to hug him until he feels okay again.”

Hades contemplated his words, taking them in. “You know that my son is still struggling with many issues,” he finally said. “Things that you cannot fix.”

“I know,” Will answered, though it stung a little to be reminded so bluntly. “But I can still be there for him. I can still support him. And even if I can’t solve all of his problems, I do think that I’ll be able to help him become more comfortable with his sexuality, at least.”

“Is that so?” Hades asked, and Will’s face began to heat up as he realized the implications of what he had just said.

“I just meant— I— I think I can help him come to terms with being gay, and help him— help him accept himself,” Will gracelessly clarified. “I’m pretty alright with my own orientation, and most of my family are super supportive, and I just… I think it’ll be good for him. For us to date.”

Will cringed as he finished speaking, feeling like he had just given a persuasive speech or something; and an unsuccessful one, at that. He worried that he had come on too strong, and he was about to apologize, but his anxiety was replaced with elation when Nico’s father flashed him a small smile and said, “I think it will be good for him, too.”

“You do?” Will asked, unable to hide the excitement in his voice, and Hades nodded. “Thank you, sir! I promise, I— I won’t mess this up!”

Nico’s father stood up from the table, and Will followed his lead. “It’s getting late. Let’s return to the others; you ought to be getting on your way.” The two of them had almost made it out of the dining room when Will was stopped by a firm hand on his shoulder. “And Will,” Hades said, “I wanted to thank you, for making my son laugh again.”

Will was too dazed to do anything more than smile and nod in reply. As he said goodbye to Nico’s family, he felt like he was walking on air. Will didn’t manage to make it out of the house without receiving a container of leftover cookies and a bottle of Italian wine to give to his mother. Nico offered to walk him out to his truck, and that’s how they ended up out in the driveway, standing across from each other.

After Will had set his food down in his passenger seat, Nico shuffled closer and reached out, loosely linking their hands together. “What did my dad want to talk to you about?”

“Oh, y’know, just the usual shovel talk,” Will deflected, not wanting to divulge all the details of the conversation. “And he gave me his permission to date you.”

Nico’s eyes lit up. “Really?”

“Yep!” Will replied, grinning down at his boyfriend.

Nico stepped even closer, gazing up at Will through his eyelashes. “You know, I would still date you even if he didn’t give us his permission,” he said, and something about the mischievous look in his eyes made Will’s heart beat a little faster.

Will’s voice came out breathy. “Yeah?”

“Mhm,” Nico hummed, pursing his lips a little, still stained such a pretty dark red from the wine he had drunk.

Will glanced down at their hands, intertwined in the space between them. He thought back to everything that had happened that night; all the new things he had learned about Nico, the way that Hazel had teased him for wearing an apron that said ‘Kiss the Cook,’ how Will had thought about kissing him during the first few minutes they were alone together, before they had been interrupted.

“Nico?” Will murmured. “Can I kiss you goodbye?”

Nico laughed lightly. “You don’t have to ask me first every single time, you know.”

Will sucked in a breath. He could just… kiss Nico whenever he wanted to? Now that was an enticing idea… But no, he still wasn’t confident that he wouldn’t do something that would accidentally make Nico uncomfortable.

“Okay,” Will said. “But it still makes me feel better to ask you for permission… Or at least warn you before I do it.”

Nico let out another little laugh. “Dork.”

“Hey, I’m your dork,” Will reminded him. “You’re stuck with me.”

Neither of them said anything after that. Will traced his thumb over the back of Nico’s hand, and Nico gazed up at him expectantly. Finally, after a few seconds of silence, he asked, “Are you going to kiss me now?”

“I— Yeah,” Will breathed. “Sorry, I… Yeah.”

So Will stepped even closer, using his free hand to tilt Nico’s head up. Nico’s eyes fluttered shut. All Will could hear was his own heartbeat roaring in his ears as he gazed down at his boyfriend, waiting patiently for a kiss. Will leaned down towards him, and all of a sudden, everything seemed infinitely more intense. At the last second, Will chickened out and shifted to press his lips to Nico’s cheek.

Nico crossed his arms in front of his chest, looking a little annoyed. “You missed.”

“Huh?” Will managed to get out.

Nico huffed in frustration, then tapped his lips with his index finger, as if he were saying, You were supposed to kiss me here.

“Oh,” Will mumbled dumbly, already knowing that was exactly where Nico had wanted to be kissed. But before he could dwell on his own cowardice, something occurred to him, and he broke into a wide grin. “Oh my god, you just did the Elf thing!”

Nico looked taken aback. “The what thing?”

“Y’know, the Christmas movie! The part where Will Ferrell and Zooey Deschanel go on a date and they’re ice skating and she tells him—”

“I’ve never seen that movie,” Nico interrupted him. “And I don’t know who those people are.”

“You’ve never seen Elf?!”

Nico shrugged, apologetic. “I haven’t seen many American Christmas movies.”

“You haven’t seen Star Wars, you haven’t seen Elf… Oh, I’m gonna show you so many movies,” Will promised him.

“Sounds like a— like a date,” Nico replied, his voice cracking on the final word of his sentence. He gazed down at the ground, and Will suddenly felt so, utterly stupid, because he had started rambling about Christmas movies when he could’ve been kissing his boyfriend instead.

“Sorry for not kissing you earlier,” Will blurted out, and Nico glanced up at him in surprise. “Well, I mean, I guess I did kiss you, but I meant, sorry for not kissing you on the mouth… I swear, it’s not like I didn’t wanna kiss you, I just— I wanted to make it good, and I started to overthink it, and I got a little panicked—”

Without warning, Nico surged upwards, pulling Will down by his collar and planting a kiss on his mouth. It was a little sloppy, and a little harsh, and it lasted so long that Will’s lungs started to burn, but Will wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.

Nico finally broke away, face flushed and breathing hard, and before Will could get a word in, he blurted out something that sounded like “Seeyoulaterbye!” Then he turned tail and ran back up the driveway, disappearing into his house.

Will’s lips tingled and his stomach did a flip as he watched Nico go. His gaze flitted to the front window of the house, just in time to see the rest of Nico’s family quickly closing the curtains, trying to hide the fact that they had been spying on the two boys the entire time.

Will just laughed to himself, then got into his truck and headed home.

Chapter 2

Chapter Text

Nico sat cross-legged on Will’s bed, his precalculus homework in his lap and his pencil in his right hand. He glared down at the paper. Doing math was already bad enough, but now he couldn’t even write with his usual hand, and his handwriting looked worse than Will’s.

His boyfriend was currently sitting on the floor surrounded by textbooks and worksheets. He had started with his history reading, but quickly abandoned it; then he had moved on to his physics problems, but after doing about half of them, he had given up and pulled out his copy of Antigone for English class. He kept tapping on the cover of the book as he read it, and Nico was just beginning to tune out the noise when Will spoke up, sounding defeated.

“Do you know what ‘Machiavellian’ means?”

“Um…” The word sounded somewhat familiar, but Nico was drawing a blank. “Let me look at it.” He leaned forward so that he was lying on his stomach, looking over Will’s shoulder at his book. “Oh, yeah, it means cunning, in a political sense. It comes from an Italian philosopher with the same name as me, Niccolò Machiavelli.”

“You’re so smart,” Will gushed. He glanced back at Nico, flashing him a dopey smile, and Nico was suddenly aware of just how close their faces were to each other. “I’m gonna kiss you on the nose.”

“Okay,” Nico breathed, caught off guard by Will’s announcement. His boyfriend moved to press a quick kiss to the tip of his nose. Then Nico shifted back to his original spot, burying his face in his hands in order to hide how widely he was grinning.

Nico was glad that Will was becoming less cautious about showing him physical affection. Though deep down, he wished that Will would do it more; they had been dating for over a month, and every time Will touched him, Nico kind of felt like he was dying, in a good way. He desperately wanted more hugs, more kisses, more cuddles, but he didn’t know how to ask for them, and that was like a whole other sort of dying, in a bad way this time.

Nico abandoned his precalculus homework in favor of lying down on Will’s bed, staring at the back of his boyfriend’s head as he continued to read. With his good arm, he hugged one of Will’s pillows to his chest and buried his face into it. It smelled like him, and it set his heart fluttering, but it still wasn’t as good as the real thing. The pillow didn’t hug Nico back.

Will tipped his head back to stare up at the ceiling. “This is so awful. How can you stand to read this stuff? I can barely get through it, and English is my first language. Isn’t it hard for you?”

It had been really hard, at first. But after spending lunch in the library every day of seventh grade because he didn’t have any friends at school, Nico had come to think of the books as his friends instead, and his reading skills had improved accordingly. But it would be embarrassing to admit all of that to Will, so Nico just said, “Not really, not anymore, though I still have to look up words sometimes. And stuff like Shakespeare is really difficult, but Mr. Blofis said it would be okay for me to read Italian translations of the plays when we get to that unit. I want to try not to rely on them, though.”

Will went back to reading. He lasted approximately two minutes before he asked, “Can I put on some music? It helps me concentrate.”

Nico didn’t understand how that wouldn’t just make him more distracted, but he had already given up on his math homework, so he agreed to it. “Okay, but please don’t make me listen to country music.”

“Oh, I’ll make a Dolly Parton fan out of you yet,” Will laughed. “But I could put on one of your playlists, if you’d be okay with that?”

“Um, okay,” Nico agreed, passing his phone to Will. “But I should warn you, most of them are kind of—”

“Emo?”

Nico rolled his eyes. “I was going to say intense.”

“I’m just teasing you,” Will assured him. He glanced down at Nico’s phone. “Oh, cute phone background!”

Nico smiled faintly. His lock screen was the picture Will had taken of Hazel kissing his cheek the first night his band performed; the home screen was the reverse, the picture that Hazel had taken of Will kissing his cheek the night they won their competition. That latter was only visible once the phone was unlocked. It was like a little secret, for Nico’s eyes only.

Will scrolled through Nico’s playlists, most of which were organized into various genres of rock, punk, and metal. Something caught his boyfriend’s eye. “You listen to technopop?”

“Oh, um… Not really,” Nico mumbled. “But Bianca did. That playlist is full of her favorite songs.”

“Oh,” Will said softly, turning around so that Nico could see the sympathetic look on his face. “Would it be okay if I played them? Or would that be…”

“You can,” Nico told him. “I haven’t heard them in a while, anyways.”

So Will went back to his reading, this time accompanied by the sound of Lady Gaga’s ‘Poker Face.’ Nico curled into a fetal position, fantasizing about Will abandoning his homework, joining him up on the bed and spooning him.

After a few more minutes, Will did, in fact, abandon his copy of Antigone, but it was only to pull something else out of his backpack to work on. Nico frowned. “Did you finish it?”

“Nah, I only read three or four pages.”

“Do you always do homework like this?” Nico asked, taken aback. “Switching from subject to subject, only doing a little bit at a time?”

“Yeah, pretty much,” Will admitted. “I get bored really easily, and I have a hard time focusing, so at least if I switch between different stuff, I get it all done eventually, instead of just, like, staring at a wall for twenty minutes trying to concentrate on one thing.” He let out a defeated sigh. “It’s always been like this. No matter how much I try, I’m always doing stuff at the last minute. It’s like, I know I have the potential to do a lot better on my assignments, but I can never seem to just sit down and do them. It’s why I keep myself so busy all the time, so that I’m forced to work hard in the little bit of time I have to do homework.”

Nico didn’t know what to say. “That sounds really exhausting… Have you tried, I don’t know, talking to a school counselor or something?”

“My mom and I talked about it with my old therapist,” Will told him, staring down at the worksheet in his lap. “We thought— Well, we think that I might have ADHD.”

Nico thought about what Percy and Leo were like; Will was practically the polar opposite. “But you’re so calm all the time,” he pointed out. “You’re not hyperactive. How could you have ADHD?”

“There’s different types of it,” Will explained. “We think I have the inattentive kind. I zone out when I’m bored and hyperfixate when I’m interested, I forget things all the time, I’m super disorganized… And it would explain a lot of other stuff. The dyslexia, the racing thoughts, my anxiety; ADHD could be the root of it all.”

Nico considered it. It sounded like it made sense, though he wasn’t an expert in psychology by any means. And he certainly understood how confusing this kind of thing was; he had come away from his first few therapy appointments with a laundry list of diagnoses, some of which he wasn’t sure were entirely accurate, and trying to sort through it all made his head hurt.

“My therapist refused to diagnose me with it,” Will continued, sounding frustrated. “Since I’m not a kid, and I still manage to do pretty well in school. So I stopped going to her, and my mom and I haven’t found a new one for me yet. I just wish I could get on meds for it… But I don’t know how that would interfere with my anxiety medication, and that’s been working well for me so far, so I’m afraid to change it…” He laughed weakly. “But yeah. It’s just gonna be like this for a while, I guess. Maybe forever. It makes me really worried about what’s gonna happen once I get to college, or med school.”

Nico remembered how sad Will had sounded when he had talked about this before, the night he ate dinner at Nico’s house. He wanted to comfort his boyfriend, but he didn’t know what to say, so he asked, “Is there anything I can do to help?”

“Um…” Will glanced up at him hopefully. “You could do my Italian homework with me?”

“Sure,” Nico replied. “What do you want me to do?”

“I’ll read the sentence in English, and then you tell me how to say it in Italian, and then I’ll write it down.”

Nico scoffed at that. “I said I would do it with you, not for you.”

“Okay, okay, fine,” Will conceded. “I’ll write down a translation, then I’ll tell you the English sentence, then you tell me how to say it in Italian, and we’ll see if I got it correct. Deal?”

“Alright,” Nico agreed.

“And each time I get one right, you have to give me a kiss.”

Nico raised his eyebrows in surprise; Will looked much too pleased with himself. “I— I didn’t say yes to that.”

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Will replied, leaning forward, so close that Nico could feel his boyfriend’s breath tickle his cheek.

“I want to,” Nico admitted softly, unable to meet Will’s eyes. “But, where should I…”

Will grinned at him. “Wherever you want, darlin’.”

Nico buried his face in Will’s blanket as the other boy turned back to his worksheet. He knew that Will was teasing him, trying to get a reaction out of him by calling him that, but it still gave Nico a bigger headrush than he liked to admit.

Will wrote down his first sentence. “Okay, how do you say, ‘You had a good idea’?”

“Hai avuto un bella idea,” Nico told him.

“Damn it,” Will whispered under his breath. “I got the participle wrong. I said ‘aveto’ instead of ‘avuto.’”

“‘Avere’ is irregular in the past tense,” Nico reminded him.

Will corrected his sentence. “Yeah, that’s what we’re supposed to be practicing.”

“Try the next one?”

Will thought about the next sentence for a bit, then wrote something down. “‘Giulia went home.’”

“Giulia è andata a casa.”

“f*ck! I got that one completely wrong,” Will lamented. “I said, ‘Giulia ha andato a casa.’”

“You have to use ‘essere’ with ‘andare.’”

“But why?”

“I don’t know,” Nico admitted after thinking about it for a second. “It just sounds right.”

“This doesn’t make any sense,” Will groaned. “Why are there so many exceptions?!”

“English really isn’t any better, you know,” Nico reminded him. “If I could learn your language, then you can learn mine. Come on, try the next one.”

And please get it right this time, Nico begged him internally, desperate for any excuse to kiss his boyfriend.

Will wrote something down. “‘They finished the exam.’”

“Loro hanno finito l’esame.”

“Yes! I got that one!” Will exclaimed, his face lighting up. He turned to his boyfriend. “You know what that means?”

Nico rolled his eyes. “Get over here, dork.”

So Will leaned closer, his eyes closed and a satisfied smirk on his face, as Nico pressed a quick kiss to the tip of his nose, just the way that Will had kissed him earlier. Nico was glad to have an excuse to be close to him like this. He often felt guilty initiating or asking for affection; he was afraid of seeming too needy, and there was also a smaller part of him that was afraid that Will didn’t actually want to do any of those things with him, or that he would just be doing them out of obligation. Most of the time, Nico was able to convince himself that it was stupid to be afraid of something like that when the two of them were already dating.

Will pulled away to work on the next sentence, and Nico sighed, deflating a little. “Okay, here’s another one,” Will said. “‘I am the best boyfriend ever.’”

Nico scrunched his nose up. “It doesn’t actually say that. You’re just trying to get me to compliment you.”

“If you had translated word for word, you would’ve complimented yourself,” Will pointed out, pouting at him.

“Well you’re not going to trick me into doing that, not in Italian, English, or any other language,” Nico grumbled, his face a bit hot. “Now go ahead and tell me the next sentence.”

Will huffed in defeat. “‘I read the sign next to the road.’”

“Ho letto il segnale accanto alla calle.”

“Wait, what?” Will frowned down at his paper. “I thought the Italian word for street was ‘via.’”

Nico suddenly realized his mistake. “Oh, uh, it is. Sorry. You’re right.”

Will gasped, as if something scandalous had occurred. “Wow, I can’t believe I just corrected you! How could you mess up your own language?”

“I didn’t mess up,” Nico defended himself, feeling a tiny flare of annoyance. “I just— I didn’t think before I spoke, and I accidentally slipped into vèneto. Or, I guess in English, you call it Venetian.”

“Wait, so is that like, different from regular Italian?” Will asked, and it made Nico feel like something inside him had shriveled up and died.

“It’s a separate language,” Nico explained, forcing himself to unclench his teeth. “It’s my mother tongue, the first language I ever learned to speak.”

“But you haven’t been speaking Venetian this whole time, right?!”

“The only other time I’ve spoken Venetian around you was when I argued with my dad during dinner,” Nico told him.

Will’s eyes went wide. “So that’s why I couldn’t understand you?”

“Yeah, I’m sure that if we had been speaking Italian, you would’ve understood us just fine,” Nico deadpanned. “Anyways, my dad is the one who spoke Venetian to you first, because he wanted to mess with you, but it pissed me off, because his Venetian isn’t even good! He picked it up after he moved to Venice, but I’m the only one of us that speaks it natively, and I never even use it anymore, because— because it’s the language that I used to speak with my mom.”

Understanding flashed across Will’s face. “Is it okay if I ask what language you used to speak with your sister?”

“It depended on who we were around,” Nico answered, trying to ignore the pang of longing that shot through his chest. “My dad and our teachers spoke to us in Italian, so we used that around him and at school, and we spoke Venetian with our friends or with my mom, except for when my grandfather was around, because then the two of them would speak to us in English. Bianca and I usually spoke to each other in a mix of Italian and Venetian, but she was really studious, so sometimes she would insist that we practice speaking English together, or German—”

“Wait, German?” Will glanced up at Nico in surprise. “How many languages do you even speak?!”

“Um…” Nico thought about it, but couldn’t come up with a number, so he just shrugged.

“How can you not know how many languages you speak?” Will asked, incredulous.

“It depends on what counts as speaking a language,” Nico said. “Like, there are a lot of languages I can understand, but I wouldn’t consider myself fluent in them.”

“List them out,” Will suggested.

Nico thought back as far as he could remember. “Okay, so, the first language I learned was Venetian. But I hardly ever use it anymore, so sometimes I forget words, or accidentally mix in some Italian… And that goes the other way around, too, like sometimes I’ll use really common Venetian words when I’m speaking Italian, just because it’s the first thing that pops into my mind. My dad does the same thing with Romanesco, the regional dialect of Rome, and I can understand it, because it’s really close to standard Italian, but I can’t speak it very well. So I wouldn’t count that one.”

“So two so far, then,” Will said, counting on his fingers.

“Next is English. I’m really good at English,” Nico said. “Then German. My family hired an Austrian tutor for my sister and I when we were little. My grandfather wanted us to be able to speak it. He said that it would be beneficial to us in the future, because Italy’s economy is pretty bad and Germany’s is the best in Europe. It would give us the opportunity to get jobs there, if we wanted to. But I haven’t spoken German since I was eleven, so I’m probably not very good at it anymore.”

“Can you say something in German for me?” Will asked.

“Like what?”

“How about, ‘I am the best boyfriend ever?’”

Nico laughed sharply. “No, pick something else.”

“Okay, uh… Maybe, ‘Hi, my name is Nico and I’m from Italy’?”

“Alright. That’s, ‘Hallo, mein Name ist Nico und ich komme aus Italien.’”

“Woah, that sounds so cool!” Will exclaimed. “And kinda similar to English, too.”

“Yeah, English is a Germanic language,” Nico told him. He thought for a second. “Let’s see… The only other language I learned back in Italy was Ukrainian. Most of our household staff were migrant workers from Ukraine, and I picked up a bit of it from them. Just enough to carry on a conversation, but I can’t read the Cyrillic alphabet, and again, I haven’t spoken it in a really long time.”

Will looked totally amazed. “Can you say the sentence from earlier in Ukrainian?”

“Um…” Nico had to think a bit harder for this one. “‘Pryvit, mene zvaty Nico i, uh, ya z Italiyi.’”

“That sounds so hard to pronounce,” Will commented, impressed. “But if you can’t read it, should I count it?”

“Can you put up half a finger?”

Will laughed at that. “Okay, so half a finger for Ukrainian, and half a finger for, uh, that Roman dialect that you can understand but can’t speak.”

“I learned bits of a few other languages when I was little,” Nico continued, reminiscing on his childhood. “My parents wanted to make sure that I would be able to communicate with the locals if I got separated from them when we were traveling. So I can say, ‘Excuse me, I’m lost, please take me to the police station, my mother’s name is Maria di Angelo,’ in, let’s see… Croatian, Greek, Czech, and Portuguese.”

“Aw, that’s so cute!” Will exclaimed. “You know, I can say ‘Hello’ in Portuguese, too.”

“Really? Why?”

Will stiffened up, looking like a deer caught in the headlights. “Uh… No particular reason!”

Nico didn’t understand why his boyfriend was acting so weird about it. “Alright, well… That’s all the ones I learned before coming to America. Then, at my first middle school, I took two years of Ancient Greek. But that’s only half a finger, because it’s not a spoken language. The same goes for Latin, which I’m learning right now.”

“That’s four that you’re fluent in, and four that you can either read, speak, or understand,” Will summed up.

“Wait, I’m still not done yet. I’m also learning French at school right now, and I’m picking it up pretty fast. I’m not totally fluent yet, but I can hold a conversation and read simple books and stuff.”

“I’m counting that as functionally fluent,” Will said. “Will you say something in French for me?”

“Okay, um, I think the sentence was, ‘Salut, je m’appelle Nico et je viens d’Italie.’”

Will sighed dreamily. “Oh my god, that sounds so romantic.”

“Excuse me, Italian is way more romantic than French,” Nico protested.

“Okay, okay, sorry, yeah,” Will backtracked, laughing a little. “Feel free to speak Italian to me anytime you want. Is that all of the languages now?”

“There’s also Spanish. It’s the last one. I took a year of it at my second middle school, in eighth grade, and it’s super similar to Italian and Venetian. Like, the word for street, ‘calle,’ is the same in Venetian and Spanish. That’s also about the time I became friends with Reyna, and she’s from Puerto Rico, so she helped me practice.”

“I took three years of Spanish in middle school,” Will said. “But it never stuck.”

“And you figured you’d be better at learning Italian?” Nico teased him.

“Maybe I will be, now that I have a cute Italian boyfriend to help me,” Will shot back, grinning up at him.

“Who, me?”

Will rolled his eyes. “Yes, you.” Then he leaned over and pressed a light kiss to Nico’s jaw, catching him totally off guard.

Nico’s mind went blank, and a warm, fuzzy feeling settled in his chest. But at his lack of response, Will furrowed his eyebrows in concern. “Sorry, was that okay? I didn’t mean to—”

“Yes,” Nico cut him off, nodding fervently. “It’s— It’s okay.”

It’s more than okay! Please do it again!

But Will wasn’t a mind reader, and he didn’t do it again, so Nico spoke up once more. “So, you learned Spanish in middle school, but what about elementary school?”

“At my school in Austin, they didn’t teach us foreign languages,” Will said. “I did have a friend who spoke Mandarin, though, and he taught me a little bit, but now pretty much all I remember is ‘Nihao’ and ‘Xiexie.’” He quickly changed the subject. “Are there any other languages you want to learn, or are you stopping at…” He counted on his fingers. “Ten?”

Nico thought for a moment. “I would like to learn Russian. I think knowing some Ukrainian will make it easier. And trying to learn Japanese could be cool, but I know that it’s really hard.”

“Oh, Lavinia speaks Russian; you should ask her to try and teach you! If anyone can learn it, it’s you,” Will assured him. “You’re so smart. Like, seriously, one of the smartest people I know.”

Nico was about to deny it, about to insist that Will was much smarter than himself, when there was a quiet knock on Will’s half-open bedroom door. “Is it alright if I come in, you two?”

“Yeah, you can,” Will answered his mom.

So Naomi Solace entered the room, carrying a plate of freshly baked cookies. She picked her way across Will’s many textbooks and worksheets, finally sitting down next to Nico on the bed. “I baked these for y’all. Chocolate chip.”

Will turned around and grabbed one from her, so Nico took one, too. “Thank you, Ms. Naomi.”

Naomi smiled sweetly at him; Nico definitely saw where Will got it from. “Oh, it’s no problem, hon. How’s the homework coming?”

“It’s… Yeah,” Will sighed, looking around at his cluttered floor. “Nico’s helping me with my Italian worksheet, though.”

“Well, isn’t that nice of him,” she gushed. Her voice dripped with a fondness that made Nico feel all soft inside.

He took a bite of his cookie, then hummed happily. Mom cookies were the best. And Will’s mom was so friendly and kind; it didn’t exactly remind him of his own mom, as she had always been much more formal than that, but it did remind him a little of Sally Jackson. Just with less guilt, since he was actually dating Will instead of hopelessly obsessing over him.

Too quickly, he had finished the entire sweet. “These are really good, Ms. Naomi. Is it alright if I eat another one?”

“Oh course, go ahead,” she replied. “Lord knows, you could use some more meat on your bones.” And then she reached out and touched him, just a gentle pat on the leg, but Nico couldn’t help the way that he flinched.

“Mom,” Will cut in, a note of warning in his voice. He shook his head a little, and they seemed to have a silent conversation for a few moments, before Naomi spoke again.

“I’ll be right back,” she said, tentative and apologetic, as she stood up. “I have something I wanted to show y’all, I just have to go find it.”

As soon as she was gone, Will took her place sitting next to Nico on the bed, suddenly very tense. “Look, I’m— I’m so sorry she said that, I didn’t tell her about your, um, eating issues, she didn’t know any better—”

“Will, it’s fine—”

“But like, I still don’t understand what your issues even are, and I would just feel really awful if what she said made you upset—”

“Will! Please, stop,” Nico begged him. “I told you, it’s fine. I’m not fragile. You don’t need to protect me.”

“But I—”

“Listen to me,” Nico interrupted, and Will finally fell silent. Nico sighed deeply as he collected his thoughts. He didn’t really want to talk to Will about this, but he didn’t see a way out of it. And besides, Will had just told him all about his learning disability; it was only fair that Nico was open with him in return. “I know that I need to gain weight,” he started, staring down at his hands, so thin that they almost looked skeletal. “And I’ve been trying really hard.” He smiled a little, proud of himself. “At the beginning of the summer, I finally broke ninety pounds.”

Next to him, Will made a choking noise, which he quickly tried to cover up with a cough. “You only weigh ninety pounds?”

“Ninety-five, now, actually,” Nico told him. He couldn’t meet his boyfriend’s eyes. This conversation was just another reminder that he was a freak, that he wasn’t normal and everyone could see it.

And why would Will want to date someone like that?

Will reached over and linked his pinky with Nico’s, loose and delicate. “That’s good,” he murmured. “Everyone’s progress is different. If that’s what improvement looks like for you, then I’m really glad. But, uh…”

“But how did it get this bad in the first place?” Nico filled in for him, and Will nodded. “Well… I’ve always been small for my age. I’ve been underweight my entire life. Even when I was born, I weighed less than four pounds; I was premature, and I had a lot of trouble eating and staying warm. But that’s not— that’s not why I have disordered eating habits now.”

Will listened attentively as Nico continued on. “It only got bad after— after Bianca died. Before that, she took care of me, and made sure that I was eating enough. But without her there…” Nico bit his lip. “Listen, please don’t hate my dad for this, okay? Things have gotten a lot better, and we’re working on it in our family therapy sessions, too, but… Well, Bianca was always his favorite child, and when she died, he just fell apart. He stopped taking care of me, stopped taking care of himself. The only time we would eat is if I cooked for us. And that was fine, for a while, until we started running out of things to eat, and I didn’t have any way to get more…”

Nico swallowed thickly. “I started rationing my food. I honestly thought I was going to end up starving to death… The longer I could go between meals, the longer I would be able to survive. It also became a control thing. I couldn’t control anything in my life, except for how long I starved myself. That feeling of hunger… it was almost comforting, in a weird way.”

“That’s… really f*cked up,” Will whispered, and Nico nodded in agreement. “So what happened? How did you break that cycle?”

“Sally Jackson happened,” Nico told him. “That’s Percy’s mom. See, I didn’t go to school for a while after— after the accident, because I was too afraid to walk past where it happened. But one day she showed up at my house and offered to drive me to school. She realized that I was being neglected, so she talked to my dad, and convinced him to visit a psychiatrist. Though, I suspect she may have threatened to call Child Protective Services if he didn’t.”

“She should’ve,” Will muttered.

Nico chose not to respond to that. “My dad got better after a while, but it took him a long time. He finally started buying groceries again about a month after Percy’s mom talked to him. But by then, I had already fallen into a pattern. I was so scared of him getting bad again, and then running out of food, that I would barely eat any of the things he would buy. I would just hoard it all, only ever eating enough to make my stomach stop hurting. That went on for, um, about a year and a half. Until Persephone and Hazel moved in with us.”

“The night they moved in was the first night I ate a full meal since, I don’t know, since Bianca died, maybe,” Nico continued. “And I— I felt so horrible, and sick, and guilty afterwards… It made me so anxious that I— that I threw up in the bathroom after dinner, and that just made me feel even worse, because I had wasted food…” He pulled his hand away from Will’s and ran it through his hair. “God, it’s so stupid.”

“It’s not stupid,” Will insisted, leaning closer so that their shoulders were touching. “How old were you, when all of this started?”

“Eleven,” Nico mumbled.

Will gently placed his hand over Nico’s again. “It’s not your fault. You were just a kid.”

“But I’m not anymore,” Nico replied, feeling pain shoot up his throat. “I’m fifteen years old and I still can’t eat a whole meal because I can’t stand the feeling of being full, and— and I’m probably not going to get much taller because I was malnourished for so long, and I— I’m—”

He pressed his face against Will’s shoulder, unable to speak.

I’m emaciated and grotesque and I look anorexic and everyone thinks so, his mom thinks so, he must think so, too, there’s no way anyone could ever find me attractive, this is all just some sick joke—

“You’re really strong, Nico,” Will said softly, wrapping his arm around him, pulling him closer. “I know I’ve said that before, but it’s true.”

Nico fought back the urge to shake his head in denial. He knew that Will would just argue with him about it. So he took some deep breaths, basking in the affection Will was showing him, until he eventually felt calm enough to pull away. He kept his hand in Will’s, though.

“I’m sorry for making you tell me all of that. I should’ve listened to you when you told me everything was fine,” Will apologized. Nico just shrugged numbly. He felt like he did at his therapy sessions, like he had been ripped open and picked apart. He hated it. He hated feeling so vulnerable, even in front of his boyfriend.

A moment later, Naomi Solace knocked on the door again. “Can I come in?”

Will glanced at his boyfriend for permission. Nico nodded, so Will called for his mom to join them. She came inside, holding a thick binder underneath her arm, and sat down in Will’s former spot on the floor, facing the two boys on the bed.

“I just had to go find this,” Naomi said, gazing at Nico with the same crystal clear concern that was often visible in Will’s eyes. “I thought you might like to see it, Nico. It's a photo album from when Will was growing up.”

“Oh, wow,” Nico murmured, intrigued. He leaned forward as Naomi opened the photo album and showed him the first page.

“This was the first picture of Will ever taken,” she said, pointing to an image of a healthy-looking baby in a little yellow blanket. There were a few more, where a sleeping Will was being held by different people, his mom, his dad, and a middle-aged couple that Nico didn’t recognize, but who he figured must be Will’s grandparents.

“You were a really cute baby,” Nico told his boyfriend, who shot him a wicked grin.

“I’m still pretty cute, don’t you think?”

Nico fought the urge to shrink in on himself; he couldn’t believe that Will was flirting with him so shamelessly in front of his mom. “Shut up,” he grumbled. “You know you are.”

Will just laughed and squeezed his hand while Naomi flipped through the next few pages of the photo album. “Here’s his first Christmas,” she said, showing them a picture where she was sitting in front of a Christmas tree, holding Will in her lap so that it looked like he was sitting up, too. Will was a good bit bigger in this photo, and he was awake this time, smiling wide despite not having any teeth.

On the page next to it, there was a family photo. Besides Will, his parents, and his grandparents, there were three other men, one of whom was standing next to a woman who appeared to be pregnant. “Who are those people?” Nico asked.

“I have three brothers, all older than me. You can imagine they weren’t too happy with Will’s father after they found out I had gotten pregnant with him,” Naomi said, chuckling to herself. “Let’s see… I think we have some more recent family photos towards the end of the album, but this is the only one from when Will was real little, cause we moved to California before he turned one.” She flipped through some more pages. “These are the last pictures of Will before we moved, I think. Taking pictures with the bluebonnets is a big deal in Austin.”

Both pages were filled with images of baby Will sitting in a field of dark blue flowers. They brought out his eyes, the bright, sky blue color that Nico had come to adore. Just like in the Christmas photos, he had a huge smile on his face; this time, he even had a few teeth poking through. Looking at him, Nico felt his heart swell with fondness.

“He was such a happy baby,” Naomi commented, flipping through more pictures: Will’s first birthday party, Naomi and Will backstage at one of Apollo’s concerts. “Always smiling and laughing… He hardly ever threw any hissy fits. Really made my job easy.” She reached up and patted Will’s leg affectionately, then went back to looking through the photo album. “Well, at least until he was about two. That’s when he reached the phase where he decided to become a nudist.”

And then Nico was face-to-face with a picture of his boyfriend’s bare butt, and he nearly choked.

“Mom!” Will exclaimed, his face bright red with embarrassment, as Nico tried to recover. “Don’t show him those!”

Naomi waved him off, flipping to another page that featured more pictures of Will looking very mischievous and very naked. “See, once Will figured out how to take his own clothes off, I could never seem to get him to keep them on,” she explained. “Every time I’d turn around, there he was, naked again! I suspect it’s because he got overheated easily, he’s always run warm… I can’t tell you how many times I had to chase him around the house, naked as the day he was born—”

“Oh my god,” Will groaned, hiding his face in his boyfriend’s shoulder as Nico began to giggle. “Can we please just skip this part?”

“Oh, you’re no fun,” Naomi complained, but she did as he asked, flipping to a new page farther along in the photo album. “Here’s Will in kindergarten with his Cub Scout troop,” she told Nico, showing him the picture.

He leaned forward to scrutinize it; he thought he recognized a familiar face. “Is that Kayla?”

“Yeah! She was the only girl in the troop. She was only allowed to join because her dad was the den leader.” Will coughed awkwardly. “It’s, um, how he and my dad met each other.”

“Oh, and here’s a picture of you and Austin,” Naomi continued, unfazed. She showed it to Nico. “They were in the same kindergarten class.”

Nico munched on another cookie as Will’s mom showed him more pages of the photo album: an adorable picture of Will at a rodeo, wearing a cowboy hat and little cowboy boots; him sitting next to a baby cow that he had helped deliver; one of him on a skiing trip in Colorado; a new family photo of Will surrounded by a hoard of younger cousins; a picture of Naomi hugging Will, standing underneath a mural that read, ‘I love you so much.’ That last one made Nico’s heart ache with longing for his own mom.

Will’s mom reached the last photo in the album. Something about her tone changed; she sounded especially wistful, now. “Oh, look at this! I remember how I used to take y’all out to Amy’s for ice cream after your basketball games.”

The picture she was looking at was of Will, an older boy who looked just like him, and a shorter boy, who Nico figured must’ve been Will’s Mandarin-speaking friend. “Who are they?” Nico asked softly.

“That’s Lee, and that’s Michael,” Naomi told him, pointing each of them out. “They were Will’s best friends in Texas.”

Nico looked to his boyfriend, who was staring down at the photo with an unreadable expression on his face. “Do you miss them?”

His question seemed to catch Will off guard. “I— Yeah,” he stammered, sounding almost mournful. “Yeah, I do.”

Naomi reached out to pat Will’s leg again, a comforting gesture, and Nico couldn’t help but suspect that he was missing something important.

Will’s mom finally spoke up after a moment. “Well, that’s the end of the photo album.” She shifted, moving to stand up. “It’s about time for me to head to work, anyways.”

“Thank you for the cookies, Ms. Naomi,” Nico said politely.

“Oh, I’m glad you liked them, hon,” she replied, giving him a warm smile. “You boys have fun, now.” And then she did something strange: she winked at Will, which caused his face to flush.

“Bye, Mom,” he said, a little loudly, and Naomi just laughed as she walked out of the room.

Once she was gone, Nico turned to his boyfriend, bewildered. “Why did she wink at you like that?”

“Don’t— Don’t worry about it,” he choked out, turning away as he went to fiddle with his projector. “Do you wanna watch the movie now?”

Nico nodded and turned off the music that was still playing quietly from his phone. This was the second part of their routine; for the past two weeks, Nico had come over one day after school, to do homework and then watch Star Wars. And only watch Star Wars. They never did anything else.

See, Nico was starting to realize that there was actually a third member of his and Will’s relationship. He was sharing his boyfriend with the Star Wars franchise, and to say he was frustrated about it would be an understatement.

Because just like the first two times, as soon as the lights were turned off and the opening crawl began to play, Will’s eyes were glued to the sheet hanging up on the wall across from them. He settled back onto the bed next to Nico, and Nico scooted closer to him, hoping that his boyfriend would show him a little affection, maybe put his arm around him or hold his hand again, but no such luck. Will remained oblivious, giving Nico no other choice but to pay attention to the movie.

“They’re building another Death Star?” Nico asked as he watched the first scene.

Will’s face lit up, but his eyes didn’t leave the movie. “Yeah! I’ve always wanted a LEGO set of this Death Star.”

“Why don’t you buy one, then?”

“It’s too expensive,” Will said, frowning a little. “All the extra money my mom makes gets put into my college fund.”

Will quickly perked up again as the scene shifted to Jabba the Hutt’s palace on Tatooine. They watched as Princess Leia freed Han Solo from the carbonite, which Nico had to admit was an exciting development. He liked Han; he was like a pirate, but in space.

But then Leia was discovered by Jabba and taken captive. The scene cut to Luke Skywalker trying to negotiate with Jabba, and Nico scrunched his nose up in distaste. “What is she wearing?”

“Oh, you mean the slave bikini?”

Nico was put off by how nonchalantly Will had said those words. “She looks uncomfortable. And cold.”

“They’re on a desert planet,” Will argued.

“She’s almost naked!” Nico exclaimed. “That’s so impractical!”

Will laughed at that. “Well, they had to put the fanservice somewhere.” When Nico just stared back at him blankly, Will continued, “You’ve gotta admit, it’s pretty hot.”

Nico could barely process what he had just heard. “Are you crazy?!”

“Wait, you really don’t think so?” Will asked, incredulous. “Not even, like, a little bit?”

“Will,” Nico started, letting out an exasperated sigh. “I’m gay.”

“But that doesn’t mean you don’t have eyes—”

“Nope,” Nico interrupted him, shaking his head. “Not hot. It’s the absolute opposite of hot.”

“Point taken, I guess,” Will relented. “Just wait until we get to the prequels. There are some scenes with Anakin that I think you’ll like.”

“Who’s Anakin?”

“I’m not gonna spoil it for you!”

As his boyfriend returned to intently staring at the movie, something nagged at the back of Nico’s mind. He had known that Will was bi almost since they had first met each other, but the reality of what that meant hadn’t really hit him until now. Nico had spent so much time focused on the fact that Will liked boys, he had neglected to think much about how he liked girls, too. Something about it made Nico’s stomach twist with jealousy. Though it was probably less about the idea of Will dating a girl than it was about him dating someone other than Nico.

“Will?” Nico said softly as he watched Boba Fett fall into the sarlacc pit. “Why aren’t you dating a girl?”

Will blinked in surprise. “Um, because I’m dating you, silly.”

“I— I know that, but I meant… Well, you’re bisexual, so you can date girls if you want to, and that would probably be a lot easier than dating boys, so… Why not just only date girls? What makes you—” Nico’s voice cracked. “What makes you want to be with me, when it means that you’ll have to deal with so much hom*ophobia and discrimination?”

Will turned to look at him, an intense expression on his face. “Because you’re worth it,” was all he said, and then he leaned forward to press a kiss to Nico’s forehead.

Then he turned back to the movie, but Nico couldn’t bring himself to concentrate on it anymore. His heart was racing from elation and his mind was buzzing with a million thoughts.

Because I’m worth it? What the hell is that supposed to mean?! What makes me worth it?

He wanted to beg Will to explain what he had meant by those words. But even more than that, he wanted to beg Will to kiss him again.

Everything felt hot. Nico shifted in place, but Will didn’t seem to notice it, and the longer Will remained focused on the movie, the antsier Nico became. He felt drawn to Will, like a gravitational pull, but he resisted the urge to curl up against his boyfriend’s side. He didn’t want to reveal his weakness, to let Will see how clingy, how needy he was. It was absolute torture. There was an aching void in Nico’s chest that could be filled if Will would just hold him, if Will would just touch him.

Nico stared down at Will’s hand where it was resting on the bed between them, close enough to reach out and touch. And the longer Nico thought about it, the more he wanted to do it. It was almost compulsion. If Will wouldn’t pay attention to him, then Nico would just have to catch his attention, somehow, until Will finally got the hint and took over from there.

Discreetly, Nico slid his hand across the bedspread and linked their pinkies together. Will just hummed in response. That wasn’t enough for Nico, so he tugged his boyfriend’s hand over towards him until it was resting in his lap. This way, he could touch it with both of his own hands, including the one that was restricted by his cast. Nico’s fingertips ghosted over Will’s knuckles. He traced patterns in the freckles that marked the back of his boyfriend’s hand, cradling it like it was something exquisite, something to be admired.

It was warm. Warm and weighted and tan and bigger than Nico’s own. As he turned it over and began to trace the lines of his boyfriend’s palm, Will spoke up, sounding amused. “You know, for someone so uncomfortable with being touched, you sure don’t seem to mind it right now.”

“Only when it’s you,” Nico murmured, staring down at his lap. “You and Hazel. Jason, sometimes. Reyna, if she’s feeling up to it. But with those two, it usually isn’t casual. Besides that, everyone else… Well, people don’t— they don’t really touch me a lot.”

Will seemed to be paying him more attention now. “And how does that make you feel?”

Nico couldn’t stop himself from telling the truth. “Lonely,” he whispered. “Disconnected, empty… Like I’m— Like I’m searching for something, but I don’t know what it is.”

“You know what I think?” Will said, after considering it for a moment. “I think you’re touch-starved.”

“What does that mean?”

“Everyone needs to be touched, it’s part of human nature.” Will took Nico’s hand, linking their fingers together and running his thumb over Nico’s knuckles. “If we aren’t touched enough, or go long periods without it, it’s bad for our health. It can weaken our immune system, make us feel negative emotions more frequently.”

Nico thought back to the almost two year long gap between Bianca’s death and when he began to let Hazel touch him; perhaps not so coincidentally, that had been the worst period of his life. The way Will talked about it, it sounded like an actual disease. “So, is that… Are you diagnosing me, Doctor Solace?”

“Why, yes,” Will said, faking seriousness. “I diagnose you with touch starvation.”

“And is there a cure?” Nico asked, playing along.

A thoughtful look came over Will’s face. “Hm… I’m prescribing lots of kisses and cuddles.”

In spite of his earlier reluctance to express his needs, Nico felt a spark of boldness come to life inside of him. “So why aren’t you giving them to me?”

But Will just laughed, still seeming to think that Nico was joking around. “I’m pretty sure it’s unethical for doctors to kiss their patients.”

“Good thing you’re not actually my doctor, then,” Nico pointed out, practically dying of frustration.

And finally, Will seemed to take the hint. He leaned closer, and Nico felt his heart rate begin to pick up. “You make a very good point,” he murmured, raising his hand to cup Nico’s jaw, his gaze fixed on his boyfriend’s lips. A shiver ran through Nico’s body at the attention. “Can I—”

“Yes,” Nico blurted out, and it took everything in him not to scream, Just kiss me already!

Will chuckled softly. “Okay.”

And then he leaned forward and closed the distance between them, and Nico felt like he could finally breathe again. The kiss was chaste, but firm, and it made Nico’s head spin. He never wanted it to end. But when Will did eventually pull away, Nico was left feeling warm and contented and dazed.

“Is that better, now?” Will asked, and Nico just nodded, his eyes a little unfocused. Will gave his hand a squeeze. “Good.”

But then Will did something horrible. He turned back to the projector screen and continued to watch the movie.

Nico wanted to scream.

“Will,” he murmured, trying to catch his boyfriend’s attention again, but it was like he hadn’t even heard him. Nico tugged on his boyfriend’s hand. “Will,” he said again, more insistently. Will just hummed in acknowledgment.

And all of a sudden, something inside Nico snapped, and a second later, he was crawling over and settling himself into his boyfriend’s lap, straddling him.

Will glanced up at him with wide eyes. “What are you doing?”

“How many times have you seen this movie?” Nico asked, his voice filled with annoyance.

“I don’t know, probably at least thirty,” Will replied. “But still—”

“So wouldn’t you rather do something more interesting?”

Will furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. “Like what?”

Nico was so frustrated, he couldn’t even speak. So instead, he surged forward and connected his lips with his boyfriend’s in a desperate kiss, trying to convey just how badly he needed Will’s attention. But after a second, Nico pulled away. Because Will hadn’t kissed him back.

His boyfriend still seemed to be having trouble processing the situation. He sounded almost sad as he asked, “Wait, so… Are you really not interested in the movie?”

“It’s not that I’m not interested in it,” Nico told him, feeling a little guilty now. “It’s just that I’m more interested in the person I’m watching it with.”

Will flashed him a co*cky grin as he repeated Nico’s words from earlier. “Who, me?”

Nico leaned down and kissed the smile right off of his boyfriend’s face. This time, Will’s lips moved underneath his, and Nico thought that his boyfriend was finally kissing him back, until he pulled away to catch his breath and realized that Will had actually been mumbling something, not kissing him.

“But if you don’t pay attention to the movie then you’re going to miss some of the references I make—”

Nico shut him up by kissing him again.

“And this next part is really important—”

Another kiss, deeper, more forceful.

“Because it’s when Luke tells Leia—”

Nico slipped his tongue into his boyfriend’s mouth, and when he felt Will go pliant underneath him, he knew that he had won. It took him a second to adjust, but soon enough, Will sighed into the kiss, instinct taking over as he began to reciprocate with the same desperate urgency.

They had kissed like this before; this wasn’t too different from their first time doing it, in fact. Except that Nico had never been so close to Will, had never been held by him like this, and it made everything feel a hundred times more intense. He was surrounded by his boyfriend’s warmth, the weight of his arms around him causing heat to simmer just beneath his skin.

Nico reached up and threaded his hand through his boyfriend’s hair, preventing him from pulling away. It was almost like a dance; when Will would try to break the kiss to catch his breath, Nico would chase his lips, and when Nico would try to pull back, Will would press forward with even more fervor, kissing him until his lips were tingling and his lungs were aching.

Will moved his hands so that they were gripping tightly onto Nico’s waist, pulling him closer, as close as possible, until they were almost chest to chest. Something about the way that Will could just move him around so easily, the way he was finally taking control, made Nico feel like his stomach was tying itself in a knot. He wanted more. He wasn’t exactly sure what he wanted more of, but he knew that he wanted more of it.

So a pang of disappointment shot through Nico’s chest when Will pulled away, breathing hard. Nico almost went to beg him to keep going, to keep kissing him, to keep touching him, but his voice died when Will leaned forward again and pressed a soft kiss to his throat.

Nico gasped, tilting his head back to give Will better access as he moved downwards, leaving a trail of kisses in his wake. Nico’s head swam with euphoria as he relished in the sensation of Will’s hot breath on his neck, Will’s tongue tracing the curve of his Adam’s apple, Will’s teeth scraping against the delicate skin of his throat.

As Will pulled down on the front of his shirt and began to nibble at his exposed collarbone, every nerve in Nico’s body felt electrified. His face was hot, everything was hot and he could hear Will breathing and there was so much touching, his heart was pounding and his blood was boiling. He wanted more, he needed more, and so without thinking, he shifted his hips forward, and when he finally found the friction that he hadn’t known he’d been seeking out, a choked-off little moan escaped from his lips.

And then it was all too much, he was overwhelmed, Will’s touch felt like it was burning and Nico was struggling to breathe. “Stop,” he gasped, pushing Will away and crawling out of his lap. “Need to stop!”

He managed to make it to the end of the bed before curling up into a ball of pure self-loathing and disgust and shame, his back to Will, desperately trying to hide the tightness in his jeans, praying that his boyfriend hadn’t noticed it. He wanted to run away, or cry, or throw up, or disappear.

Behind him, he could hear that Will was starting to freak out. “Nico? Nico, what’s wrong?”

“Too much,” was all that Nico could bring himself to choke out. Though, too much of what, he couldn’t explain.

“sh*t, I’m sorry,” Will began to babble. “I’m so sorry, did I go too far? I didn’t mean to—”

“Not— Not your fault,” Nico stammered, gasping for air. “My fault.”

My fault for being a perverted freak, Nico berated himself.

“Hey, can you take a deep breath for me? I can talk you through a breathing exercise,” Will said, trying to calm him down. Nico flinched in surprise when he felt Will place his hand on his shoulder; he quickly withdrew it. “Woah… I’m— I’m sorry… I just want to help, can you tell me what’s wrong?”

Nico almost laughed at that. Because what was wrong was that he had practically begged another boy to touch him, what was wrong was that he had liked it so much. He had been selfish, and he had let it go too far, and he wasn’t supposed to feel the things he was feeling, it was all just wrong, wrong, wrong.

And he was dragging Will into it. Will, who could date a girl if he wanted to; Will, who could be normal if he tried; Will, who had probably never even thought about Nico like that, because why would he? Nico was skinny and repulsive and damaged and sick and everything that Will wasn’t, and knowing how undesirable he was just made it that much harder for Nico to cope with his own desires.

Nico tucked his head between his knees and his chest, willing his problem to go away. He tried to concentrate on the least attractive thing he could think of, and idiotically, his mind wandered back to Princess Leia in that stupid metal bikini. But he didn’t think it was actually doing anything to help, and he was fooling himself by trying to pretend that Will didn’t know what was going on. He was a boy, too, after all. And wasn’t that just the root of the whole issue?

“You know what’s wrong,” Nico hissed, his face hot with shame.

After a moment of silence, Will seemed to calm down a bit. “Oh,” he murmured, coming to sit so that he was behind Nico. “Is that all?”

Nico felt a flare of anger at the way Will was acting like it wasn’t even a big deal. “I’m sorry,” he whispered harshly. “I’m sorry, I’m—”

“Hey, don’t worry about it,” Will murmured, his voice soft and comforting. “It’s normal, it doesn’t bother me. You don’t have to be embarrassed—”

“I don’t want to talk about it!” Nico cried, scrunching his eyes shut.

Will seemed to be at a loss for words. “Okay, I’m— I’m sorry,” he said. “Is there anything I can do to help?” Nico frantically shook his head no. “Alright, well, uh… I’m just gonna give you some space, I guess, and you can come back and sit by me when you’re feeling better.”

It took about ten minutes for Nico to stop wanting to claw his own skin off. And then a whole new wave of guilt hit. Because if what Will had said was right, that what had happened was nothing to be embarrassed about, then that meant that Nico had freaked out over something totally normal, and now Will was probably never going to want to touch him again. He couldn’t let that happen. So a little sooner than he felt ready to, Nico scooted back towards his boyfriend, searching for his hand with his own.

“Are you okay?” Will asked as he linked their fingers together. “Nico, you’re trembling.”

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” Nico whispered, feeling his eyes start to sting.

“You just got overwhelmed, that’s all,” Will told him. “And I— I got pretty carried away, it’s my fault, I’m sorry… I should’ve made sure you were okay with it, I should’ve asked what your boundaries were first—”

“But I don’t know what my boundaries are, Will,” Nico blurted out. “I’d rather just tell you to stop when it gets too much than have you— than have you overthink everything, and treat me like I’m fragile, and be afraid to touch me, because I—” Nico’s face burned with embarrassment. “Because I really like it when you touch me and I don’t want you to stop!”

After a second, Will spoke up softly. “Do you want me to touch you right now?”

Nico gave him a tiny nod.

“How do you want me to touch you?” Will asked. “Just tell me what you want me to do, and I’ll do it.”

“Can you just… hold me?” Nico asked, his voice small. “We could spoon, maybe?”

In the darkness, Nico was just able to make out the way that Will’s face flushed. “Okay,” he breathed, sounding flustered. “But wait, can I rewind the movie first? You, uh, kinda missed a lot of it.”

Will’s dedication to getting him to watch Star Wars caused the tension to leave Nico’s shoulders. He laughed weakly. “Alright.”

So once Will rewound the movie to the scene where Yoda died, he crawled back into bed with his boyfriend, lying on his side. It took Nico a second to work up his courage, but eventually, he lay down, too, scooching backward so that the two of them were nestled closely together.

They had only been like that for a minute when Will hesitantly spoke. “Um, Nico… Do you think you could scoot up a little bit? You’re kinda pressing right against my—”

“Sorry!” Nico squeaked, wriggling out of Will’s grasp and farther up the bed, until Will’s face was pressed against the back of his neck and their hips were a safe distance apart.

Will pulled Nico closer and nuzzled at the nape of his neck. “Does this feel okay to you?”

“Yeah,” Nico whispered, his stomach filled with butterflies. After a second, he realized that he should probably ask Will the same question. “Do you— Does it feel okay for you, too?”

“Mhm,” Will hummed, and then he pressed a gentle kiss to the back of Nico’s neck. “I like holding you.”

Nico’s mouth cracked into a smile as the movie continued to play. Every once in a while, Will would mumble along with one of the character’s lines, his breath ghosting softly over Nico’s skin and making his hair stand on end. Will was warm and he smelled good and Nico just felt so, overwhelmingly safe in his arms. He let out a happy little sigh. In the darkness of Will’s bedroom, Nico’s eyelids began to feel heavy. He tried to stay awake for the movie, he really did, but he was so comfortable, it was impossible for him to keep his eyes open. The last thing he remembered was hearing the Death Star explode as he drifted off to sleep.

Chapter 3

Chapter Text

“Hey, Nico?” Hazel called over her shoulder. “Can you help me hang these up?”

Nico reached over and took the ghost-shaped lights from his sister. He tried his hardest to hang them up over the top of the TV console, but standing on his tiptoes and jumping up and down a little, he still wasn’t tall enough.

“Here, I got it,” Frank said, coming up behind him and securing the lights in place. It was easy for him; he was almost a foot taller than Nico, and it reminded the smaller boy that he really ought to go ahead and order the platform boots he had had his eyes on for a while.

Today was Halloween, Nico’s favorite American holiday, and Hazel’s, too. As had been their tradition for the past three years, the two of them were throwing a Halloween party. Their house attested to it, all decorated with pumpkins, ghosts, and orange and purple lights. Hades and Persephone were spending the evening upstairs, giving their kids free reign over the house, and Nico intended to make the most of it. He had gotten his cast off a few days ago, it was his favorite night of the year, and he was going to be spending it with all of his friends. So generally, he was feeling pretty good.

It’s not going to be like last year, he assured himself as the sound of the doorbell ringing echoed through the house.

“I got it!” he exclaimed, hoping that he was right about who was at the door.

To his delight, it was his boyfriend who was standing on his front porch, an excited look on his face. “Nico! Have you checked Instagram lately?”

“No, why?” Nico asked, rather taken aback that Will hadn’t even told him hello.

“My Chemical Romance is getting back together!”

Nico blinked up at him, certain that he must’ve heard wrong, or that Will was joking. But no, Will wouldn’t joke about something so important to him, and as Nico watched, his boyfriend pulled out his phone and showed him an Instagram post from the band’s official account, announcing their return.

Nico’s eyes lit up. “It’s real?!”

Will nodded, grinning widely, and Nico felt so overjoyed that he was practically vibrating. He was compelled to do something to express his happiness, and so without warning, he rushed forward and wrapped his arms around Will’s torso, hugging him tightly as he dipped his head down to hide his own huge smile.

Nico gasped and held on tighter as his feet left the floor; Will picked him up and spun him around, laughing the whole time. When Nico’s feet were safely on the ground again, he couldn’t help but laugh, too. It felt amazing that instead of teasing him for getting excited, Will was being just as enthusiastic about this as he was.

Will moved his hands to cup Nico’s face, tilting his head up so that he could see Nico’s smile. “Woah! Cool fangs!” he exclaimed. “And your skin… It’s all sparkly!”

“Hazel put something called highlighter on it,” Nico told him. “She said it makes me look like the vampires in some movie that I haven’t seen.”

Will brushed his thumb over Nico’s cheek. “You make a much cuter vampire than Robert Pattinson,” he murmured. Nico didn’t know who that was. But it didn’t matter; Will’s compliment was still making his cheeks turn as red as the lipstick he was wearing. “Though, I can think of a different costume that you would look even cuter in.”

“...And the moment is ruined,” Nico grumbled, pushing away from his boyfriend and starting off towards the living room. “I already told you, you’re never going to get me to dress up as Darth Vader!”

“Never?” Will pouted as he trailed after him.

Nico rolled his eyes. “Not as long as you’re dressed like Luke Skywalker.”

The primary reason Nico had decided to dress as a vampire this year was spite. Will had argued that Italians couldn’t be vampires, since they ate so much garlic and Italy was so sunny, and Nico wanted to prove him wrong. Another reason was practicality. He already had most of the clothes for it, and he knew they looked good on him, not that he would ever admit that he was trying to catch his boyfriend’s eye. Also, Hazel had bought some moldable plastic fangs that she was really excited to try out, but she had already decided to dress up as a witch, so Nico had volunteered to let her use them on him instead. That had culminated in her giving him a full face of makeup; now Nico was very sparkly, with copious amounts of eyeliner on and lipstick that was supposed to make it look like he had been drinking someone’s blood.

It was a complete contrast with Will, who was dressed in a shirt that kind of looked like a bathrobe, a lightsaber hanging from his belt. For the past week, he had been begging Nico to do a couples costume with him, an idea that Nico blatantly refused to agree to. For one, Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader were not a couple. And secondly, after Percy had convinced him to partake in last year’s downright embarrassing group costume, Nico had vowed never to wear a Halloween costume to impress a boy ever again. This was his holiday; Will would just have to deal with it.

Will was just saying hello to Hazel and complimenting Frank’s teddy bear onesie when the doorbell rang again. “I’ll get it,” Nico volunteered, since Will had started to help out with the decorations.

When he opened the front door, he was met with a chorus of, “Trick or treat!”

And then another, smaller voice: “Nico!”

Nico nearly toppled over as Estelle Blofis latched herself onto one of his legs, clinging to him hard as she shouted his name. Nico quickly handed out candy to Annabeth’s younger brothers, who then ran off down the driveway towards another house. After his hands were free, Nico reached down and picked up his favorite child in the entire world.

“Hey, Stella Bella,” he cooed at the toddler in his arms; it was his own personal nickname for her. “Happy Halloween! What are you dressed up as?”

“Flounder!” she bubbled happily. “From The Little Mermaid!”

Nico took a second to take in everyone else’s costumes. Ms. Jackson was dressed as Ursula, which Nico thought was rather unfitting, since she was one of the nicest ladies he knew. Mr. Blofis was dressed as King Triton; he at least had the decency to wear a shirt with his costume, unlike Percy, who had dressed up as Ariel, and was wearing only a seashell bra. This time last year, it would’ve flustered Nico, but now he thought that Percy just looked ridiculous. Annabeth, who had dressed as Prince Eric, looked much cooler. Her costume almost looked like a pirate, which Nico had a lot of respect for. And of course, there was Estelle, wearing a blue and yellow fish costume. Nico only knew all the characters because it was Estelle’s favorite movie, and he had watched it with her a handful of times when he was babysitting her.

“Happy Halloween, Nico,” Percy’s mom told him, smiling warmly. “How are you doing?”

“Really good, actually,” he replied.

Estelle grabbed his face with both of her tiny hands. “Your teeth are scary!”

“Don’t worry, I won’t bite you,” Nico said, laughing a little.

Behind him, the door clicked open, and someone stepped out onto the porch with him. Mr. Blofis spoke up. “Hey there, Will.”

“Oh, Mr. Blofis, hi,” Will said as Nico turned around to face him. “Hey, Annabeth. Percy.” Will’s voice had stiffened a little. Nico knew by now that Will wasn’t a big fan of Percy, and it was more than a little bit annoying, but at least they were usually civil with each other.

“Who are you?” Estelle asked, clinging tighter to Nico, like she was afraid that Will was here to steal his attention.

Will smiled at her. “I’m Will. What’s your name?”

She scrutinized him for a second, as if deciding whether to trust him or not. “Estelle,” she finally told him, before turning back to talk to Nico. “Is he your friend?”

“Um…” Nico shot a panicked glance at Ms. Jackson. He knew that Percy had told her that he and Will were dating, but he didn’t know if she would be okay with Estelle knowing about it. Should he lie? Should he hide it from her? But Percy’s mom gave him an encouraging nod, so Nico worked up his nerve and said, “Actually, Will and I are more than just friends.”

Estelle furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. “Like, best friends?”

This was proving to be harder than Nico thought it would be. “No, um… Well, yes, but… So, you know how Percy and Annabeth are even more than best friends?” Estelle nodded attentively. “Well, Will is my Annabeth.”

After a second of processing, Estelle gasped. “He’s your girlfriend?!”

Everyone except for Estelle burst into a fit of laughter. “I’m his boyfriend, actually,” Will clarified, resting his hand on Nico’s shoulder.

Estelle began to giggle, too. She turned back to Nico and whispered, very loudly, “Nico, he’s pretty!”

“I think so, too,” Nico mumbled, feeling his face start to heat up.

“Do you hold hands with him?” Estelle asked excitedly.

Nico nodded. “Yeah.”

She started to bounce up and down in his arms. “And do you kiss each other?”

“Sometimes,” Nico admitted, totally embarrassed.

“Are you gonna get married?!”

“That’s enough questions for today, I think,” Percy’s mom cut her off, reaching over to extract her from Nico’s arms, and Nico felt some of the tension leave his shoulders. “How about we go visit some other houses?”

Estelle pouted as Annabeth said, “Percy and I will come back and hang out after we finish making our rounds.”

“Don’t have too much fun without us,” Percy said, shooting Nico a grin.

“We’ll do our best,” Nico deadpanned, though his expression softened as he waved goodbye to the rest of Percy’s family. He and Will turned around and headed back inside. The two of them stood there in silence for a second; Will had this weird look on his face, a mixture of amusem*nt and admiration.

“So,” he finally began. “You think I’m pretty?”

Nico groaned when he realized that Will had heard him say that. “Yeah, pretty irritating.”

“You wound me!” Will cried, clutching his chest dramatically in a manner that distinctly reminded Nico of the other boy’s father.

Before Nico could retort, the doorbell rang again. Nico went to open the door, and the chaos he was met with told him that the party was really about to start, now.

“Nico!” Jason exclaimed, his face lighting up. “Happy Halloween!”

“Trick or treat,” Reyna said, a little bit dryly. And then people were flooding into his house in a blur of color and costumes.

Nico narrowed his eyes in confusion as Thalia passed him. “Why are you dressed like a Christmas tree?”

She groaned. “Group costume. Grover and Juniper wanted to dress up as seasonal trees, for whatever reason. They roped me and Rachel into it, but none of them are here yet, so now I just look stupid.”

Next to Nico, Will laughed at that, and Thalia turned to him and began to introduce herself; they had never met before. Nico moved to talk to Reyna, who was dressed as Wonder Woman. “Same costume as last year?” he asked.

“Yeah.” She shrugged. “It was easier to just wear something I already owned.”

“I’m not complaining,” Piper said, not-so-subtly eyeing Reyna’s costume.

Hazel, who had come to investigate the commotion and overheard Piper’s comment, gasped like she had been scandalized. “Piper! What would Shel think if she heard you say that?”

“Shel would agree with me,” Piper declared, then turned over her shoulder to call out, “Doesn’t Reyna look hot in her costume, babe?”

“Damn right, she does!” Shel called back as she walked through the front door with Leo in tow, and while everyone laughed, Reyna covered her face with her hands to hide the blush on her cheeks. Nico didn’t know Shel very well, but she seemed cool, and he definitely liked it when she and Piper were around, because then he and Will weren’t the only queer couple in the friend group. It made him feel more comfortable expressing affection for his boyfriend.

This Halloween, Piper had opted to dress as a hamburger, and Shel seemed to be following the theme, dressing as a packet of french fries. Jason, like Reyna, was dressed as a superhero, though it was a different one than last year; Nico was pretty sure it was Captain America. The costume was snug and well-fitting, like Jason had made it his personal mission to give every straight guy at the party a sexuality crisis.

Leo brought up the rear, lugging along what looked to be two jugs of Hawaiian Punch. He was dressed as a hotdog. Nico guessed that Leo had gone along with Piper and Shel’s theme. Leo closed the door behind him; he was the last one, for now.

“Wait, where’s Calypso?” Hazel asked him.

“She said she wanted to take a break from our relationship,” Leo said, and he set his jugs of Hawaiian Punch down so that he could swoon dramatically. “She’s doing an exchange program in Greece after winter break, and then she’s graduating high school, and she said she doesn’t want to do long distance. That’s what I get for dating an older woman, I guess.” He picked up his Hawaiian Punch again. “Now I’m going to drink away my sorrows.” And suddenly, it occurred to Nico that whatever Leo had brought with him, it probably wasn’t Hawaiian Punch.

“Sorry about that, man,” Thalia consoled him. “I guess if all else fails, you could always date Jason.”

Jason’s face turned red, and he began to cough as Leo gave Thalia a confused look. “But… I’m straight?”

“That’s what we all used to think about ourselves,” Piper told him, patting him on the shoulder.

They all made their way farther into the house, settling into a loose circle so that they could see each other as they talked. Nico sat next to Will on the floor, and his mouth curled into a tiny smile when Will reached over and linked their pinkies together.

“So, Leo,” Frank started. “Why is your costume a hotdog?”

“Because I’m hot, duh,” he answered, and Nico couldn’t help but roll his eyes. “Also, Piper and Shel let me tag along with their costume idea.”

“I dressed up as the scariest thing I could think of,” Piper explained. “The meat production industry.”

“And what’s a hamburger without her french fries?” Shel asked, draping her arm around her girlfriend’s shoulder. Nico glanced over at Jason. He thought he looked a little sad.

“Aw, that’s so cute,” Will gushed. He turned to Nico. “Why couldn’t we have done something like that?”

Nico groaned in annoyance. “For the last time, I’m not putting on a Darth Vader costume! I refuse to dress up as your father when we’re dating!”

Across from them, Piper began to snicker, and Nico already knew that this wasn’t going to be good. “Yeah, cause then he’d have to call you Daddy.”

Half of their friends started cracking up at that. Nico buried his face in his hands, mortified, as Frank said, “Wait, but… Wouldn’t Nico be the one calling Will Daddy? Y’know, cause Nico is smaller?”

“Woah, man, don’t go making assumptions,” Thalia chided him, and Frank’s face flushed in embarrassment.

“Will’s the one with massive daddy issues, not me,” Nico grumbled, muffled by his hands.

Will scoffed at that. “Oh, like you don’t have daddy issues, too!”

“Maybe you could both call each other Daddy,” Shel suggested, and Nico let out another groan, because this entire conversation was just so incredibly weird.

“Oh, I know!” Leo exclaimed. “Nico could dress up as Kylo Ren!”

“Isn’t Kylo Ren Luke’s nephew, though?” Reyna reminded him. “That would still be pretty strange.”

“Who’s Kylo Ren?” Nico quietly asked his boyfriend, who was also blushing now, for some reason.

“He’s a character from the sequels,” Will explained, not meeting Nico’s eyes. “Guys, don’t spoil anything,” he told everyone else. “We only just finished the original trilogy last weekend.”

The conversation finally seemed to come to an end, and Nico was very grateful for it. Jason turned to talk to Will. “Hey, do you want to see Nico’s costume from last year? I think I have a picture of it.”

Nico cringed, but it wasn’t like he could do anything to stop Jason as he pulled out his phone and showed Will a picture of himself, Nico, Percy, and Reyna dressed as Superman, Batman, Aquaman, and Wonder Woman, respectively. Will scrutinized it closely for a second, then said, “Wow, those are some really tight pants.”

Nico’s jaw dropped in shock when he realized exactly what Will was referring to, eliciting another bout of laughter from the rest of his friends. He had half a mind to shove Will away, or go hide in his room, but he was saved from doing either of those things by the sound of the doorbell ringing.

He jumped to his feet and went to hand out candy to a couple of trick-or-treaters, sure that he still looked very flustered. Then he returned to the living room, but as soon as he sat down, the doorbell rang again.

“I’ll get it this time,” Jason told him before he could stand back up. “Reyna, do you want to be on candy duty with me?”

She nodded, so the two of them left to go hang out by the front door. After they were gone, Leo began to unscrew the lid of one of his Hawaiian Punch jugs. “Hey, Hazel, do you have any cups?” She got up to go get him some, and Leo turned to Nico. “Your parents aren’t home, right? Like, it’s fine if we drink?”

“After— After what happened last year, they decided to stay home, but they said they’d only come downstairs if there’s an emergency,” Nico told him, gazing at his shoes.

Leo nodded in understanding. “Alright, sweet. Who’s drinking with me? Piper?”

“Nah, sorry,” she said. “Shel recently taught me more about how alcoholism is such a big problem on native lands, so I’ve decided not to drink anymore, to raise awareness.”

“Good for you,” Thalia said approvingly.

“Yeah, good for you, but not good for me,” Leo complained. “Now who’s going to be my drinking buddy?”

It was quiet for a second, but then, to everyone’s surprise, Hazel volunteered as she sat back down with the cups. “I’ll drink with you. Frank, what about you?”

“I don’t have a ride home… Is it alright if I sleep over?” he asked, and Hazel nodded.

Nico thought for a moment. It was his house, his party, and after last year’s fiasco, he wanted to enjoy himself. And now that he was out to everyone here, he didn’t have any huge secrets to hide. So after a moment of deliberation, Nico said, “I’ll drink, too.”

Will looked a little surprised at that. “If I drink with you, can I sleep over?” he asked. Nico nodded, excited by the prospect of getting to spend even more time with his boyfriend.

“Aw, all the babies are drinking tonight!” Leo gushed, and Nico fixed his most intimidating glare on the other boy. “Have any of you ever played a drinking game?” All of them betrayed their inexperience by shaking their heads no. “I’ll go set one up in the dining room!” And with that, he sprang to his feet and practically ran off to the other room.

As everyone broke off into smaller conversations, Will reached for Nico’s hand again, leaning closer and speaking softly. “Hey, do you mind if I ask you something that might be kinda personal?” Nico shrugged, a little confused, so Will continued, “You don’t have to answer, but… When was the last time you ate something?”

The question took him by surprise. He thought for a second, then said, “I don’t know, lunchtime I guess? Why?”

“It’s not good to drink on an empty stomach,” Will explained. He glanced around, spotted a bowl of candy on one of the living room tables, and grabbed a Kit Kat out of it. “Here, why don’t you eat this? I know it’s your favorite.”

“Alright,” Nico agreed, smiling a little at the fact that Will had remembered.

While he ate the candy Will had given him, Will reached over and took another Kit Kat out of the bowl. He broke one of the pieces off for himself, but instead of eating the other, he held it up to Nico’s lips. No one was really paying them much attention, so rather than being too embarrassed, Nico laughed softly and bit down on the end of it. Will pushed it farther into Nico’s mouth, so he ate the entire thing like that, even sucking the melted chocolate off of Will’s fingertip for good measure.

Nico glanced up to see that his boyfriend had a dazed expression on his face, his eyes locked on Nico’s lips. “Why are you looking at me like that?” Nico innocently asked.

Will’s face flushed as he broke out of his stupor. “No reason.”

Terribly confused, Nico didn’t have time to question him any further, because Leo came back into the living room and announced that he had finished setting up the drinking game. The four of them followed him to the dining room, where he explained the rules. Nico and Hazel would play against Will and Frank; they would each take turns throwing a ping pong ball at a formation of cups, and if the ball went in, then the person they were dating had to drink what was inside of it. Leo would referee; he had already poured his own drink for himself.

“What do we get if we win?” Nico asked.

“Well, these games don’t usually have prizes,” Leo told him. “But I guess you could make a bet or something?”

Will thought for a second, and then his face lit up. “I know! If you lose, Nico, you have to wear a Kylo Ren costume when we go to the premiere of The Rise of Skywalker together.”

As everyone else laughed, Nico sputtered indignantly. “I don’t— Well, if you lose… You have to go to the movie wearing your normal clothes!”

“Aw, come on!” Will complained, but he relented after Nico stared him down. He walked over and shook Nico’s hand. “Alright, fine, deal.”

And so the game began. Hazel went first, then Frank; both of their throws were close, but neither made it into any of the cups. Nico’s attempt was embarrassingly bad, not even close to the cups at all, which he blamed on it being his first time playing. When it was Will’s turn to throw the ping pong ball, it made a beautiful arc through the air, landing perfectly in one of the cups.

“Nico, you drink,” Leo instructed him.

Annoyed, Nico reached for the cup and fished the ping pong ball out of it. He drank its contents slowly, which was a mistake; it burned worse than wine going down his throat, and when he had finished almost all of it, something slimy brushed against his lips. He pulled away and stared into the cup, horrified. “Is that a f*cking gummy worm?!”

“Oh yeah, I forgot I put those in there,” Leo said, much too nonchalantly, and it made Nico feel a flare of rage.

“What the hell, Leo? What even is this stuff?!”

“My own personal recipe,” he replied, a crazed grin on his face. “It’s Leo Juice!”

Across from Nico, Will began to snicker. “Is that an innuendo?”

Nico groaned, now feeling even more disgusted by the drink, while Leo congratulated Will on the joke and gave him a high five. He never should’ve let Will start hanging out with Leo and Piper; his boyfriend had been corrupted.

During the second round, both Hazel and Will’s throws landed inside of cups. Nico shuddered as he drank the sickeningly sweet alcohol, and Will watched, his eyebrows furrowed in concern.

“No offense to your bartending skills, Leo, but don’t people usually play these kinds of games with regular old beer?” he asked.

“We don’t have beer at any of our parties, actually,” Frank explained to him. “Because Percy can’t stand to be around it.”

Will still looked confused. “Oh, Cecil has Celiac disease, is it something like that?”

“Yeah,” Nico blurted out, and everyone but Will glanced over at him like he was crazy. “Percy can’t eat gluten.” It was easier than explaining that Percy couldn’t tolerate the smell of beer because he associated it with his abusive stepfather.

Will shrugged it off, looking like he believed him, and so the four of them went back to playing their game. By the end of it, Hazel had drunk two cups, and Frank had drunk one. Will, with his stupidly good basketball player aim, had made Nico drink four, two of which had gummy worms in them. The alcohol in his system certainly didn’t improve Nico’s aim, and he didn’t make a single one of his throws. He and Hazel had lost, and Will hadn’t consumed any alcohol at all.

“I’m going to get some wine to wash the taste of this sh*t out of my mouth,” Nico announced, kind of pissed off. “Leo Juice is a disgrace to the name of all alcoholic beverages.”

“Dad might not be too happy about that,” Hazel warned him.

“Dad’s not going to find out,” he shot back. “I’m fifteen years old. If we still lived in Italy, I would almost be able to drink by now.”

Then, before anyone could stop him, he whirled around and walked straight into the doorframe that connected the dining room to the living room.

When did that get there? he thought, before chiding himself for being so careless. He made his way to the kitchen, waving hi to Grover, Rachel, and Juniper, who had arrived while he was playing the drinking game. When he reached his destination, he pulled a bottle of wine out of his father’s wine cooler. He struggled with the cork for a minute; he really didn’t remember it ever being this hard to open before. Finally, he succeeded, and he poured some of the wine into the empty cup he had brought with him from the drinking game.

Drinking wine out of a SOLO cup, he thought to himself as he took a sip. Not one of my proudest moments.

When he returned to the living room, Rachel and Grover seemed to be the center of the conversation. “So, do you want some, or not?” Nico heard Rachel ask.

“Well, I said I would stop drinking alcohol… Doesn’t mean I can’t smoke, though,” Piper said, a smirk on her face. Shel nodded along, like she agreed with her girlfriend’s logic.

“Anybody else?” Grover asked, looking around. “Will, how about you?”

Will’s eyes widened, like he definitely hadn’t expected to be part of this conversation. “Oh, um… I don’t know, I’ve never tried it before.”

“Really?” Rachel asked, looking like she didn’t believe him. “Well, do you want to, then? It’s relaxing.”

“Trying it once can’t hurt anything,” Shel added on.

Will looked a little bit bewildered, but he finally agreed, “Sure, I guess I’ll try it.”

“Yeah!” Piper exclaimed as the group started walking towards the back door. “Time for Will to lose his weed virginity!”

Will glanced back at Nico, flashing him a nervous smile before he disappeared outside.

Once he was gone, Nico felt like a weight was suddenly pressing down on his shoulders. Maybe it was irrational to be so clingy, but now that his boyfriend wasn’t in the room, Nico couldn’t help but miss him. He hoped that Will would come back soon.

“Hey, güey,” Leo called to Nico, walking over to him. He fished something out from underneath his hotdog costume; Nico did not want to know where he had been keeping the bag that he pulled out. “I got some calaveritas for you the other day.”

Nico stared down at the two sugar skulls that Leo had handed him, overwhelmed with gratitude. “Oh… Thank you.”

“Have you made an ofrenda yet?” Leo asked, and Nico nodded. “Can I see it?”

“Um, sure,” Nico replied. It was kind of personal, so he wouldn’t have volunteered to show him, but Leo was the one who had taught him how to celebrate Día de los Muertos in the first place, so if anyone deserved to see it, it was him. After last year’s fiasco, Leo had learned what happened to Nico’s mother and sister, and he had come over a few days later to share the holiday with him. It reminded Nico of il Giorno dei Morti back in Venice, but less somber and more festive.

Leo followed Nico into his bedroom. The two of them stopped in front of a little table he had set in front of his window. It was an ofrenda, an altar to his deceased family members. It was covered in chrysanthemums and candles and photos and memorabilia: Bianca’s old hat, the figurine she had stolen for him, his mother’s pearl necklace and her rosary and the veil she used to wear to Mass, and even some of his grandfather’s cigars.

Nico opened the bag of sugar skulls and placed both of them on the altar. He stepped back, admiring it in wistful silence.

“It’s really nice,” Leo said after a while. Nico nodded absently in agreement. “Are you gonna visit their graves on Día de Muertos?”

“Yeah,” he answered. “And— And you? Your mom?”

Leo nodded. Nico sometimes failed to remember it, but despite the jokes that Leo made all the time, he had had a pretty rough life, too. And he understood what it was like to lose the people he loved.

Nico was suddenly overwhelmed with emotion. “Thank you,” he choked out, though he wasn’t sure what he was really thanking Leo for. For giving him the sugar skulls? For understanding him? “Thanks for— Thanks— You—” Nico’s hand shot out and awkwardly landed on Leo’s arm. It wasn’t a normal display of physical affection, not the way that a hug might’ve been, but Nico rarely initiated contact with other people, and right now, it was the only way he could find to express himself.

Leo smiled at him, warm and sincere. “It’s no problem,” he said, and then he laughed a little. “Damn, your hands are cold.”

“Sorry,” Nico mumbled, pulling away as he realized that he had probably been touching Leo for far longer than was considered socially acceptable.

“I’m just teasing you, man,” Leo told him, nudging him gently with his shoulder. “You wanna head back out, now?”

Nico nodded, then followed Leo out to the living room, only bumping into the hallway wall one time. Will was back from outside, and Nico’s face lit up as his boyfriend walked towards him, only to fall once Will got close enough to pull him into a hug.

“You smell weird,” Nico complained, wrinkling his nose.

Will laughed a little, and Nico could smell the marijuana on his breath. “Can’t help it, sorry,” he said, as Nico wriggled out of his grasp. “Aw, come back!”

Nico glanced around the room, spotting a bowl of candy that he had put out earlier. He grabbed a lollipop out of it and handed it to Will. “Here, eat this.”

“Alright,” Will agreed, smiling, but looking a little spaced out. He unwrapped the candy and placed it in his mouth, and okay, now Nico understood why Will had gotten flustered watching him eat a Kit Kat earlier. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from his boyfriend’s lips.

Rachel called Will’s name from farther inside the living room, and as Will turned away to go find her, Nico couldn’t help but think to himself, Wish I were that lollipop.

And then, all too late, he realized that he had accidentally mumbled the thought aloud, because Frank, who had been passing by, was now staring at him with wide eyes and a shocked look on his face.

“You heard nothing,” Nico hissed, fixing him with his most intimidating glare.

Frank held his hands up, as if to reassure Nico of his innocence. “I heard nothing!”

With that, Nico stalked off in search of his boyfriend, who he found sitting on the ground, surrounded by the other people who had smoked. As he sat down next to him, Will said, “Rachel’s babysitting me.”

“I’m just making sure everything goes okay, since it’s his first time getting high,” she explained.

Nico scooted a little closer to Will, examining his boyfriend’s irritated eyes. “What does it feel like?”

“It’s amazing, Nico,” Will told him, his mouth splitting into a blissful grin. “It’s like— It’s like all my thoughts are slowed down, like my brain is disconnected from itself, y’know?” Nico didn’t, in fact, know, and Will continued, “I don’t feel anxious at all, I just feel… good. Really good. Way better than when I take Xanax, cause I don’t have to worry about getting addicted to it, and I don’t have to have a panic attack in order to use it.”

“You have anxiety issues?” Rachel asked him, and Will’s face flushed as he nodded, like he hadn’t meant for other people to hear him talk about it. “Well, if you ever want more weed, you can always ask me. Though, if you’re gonna use it often, you should probably get a bong. It’s better for you that way.”

Will’s eyes lit up like Rachel had just offered him a million dollars. He lay back so that his head was in her lap, staring up at her. “Oh my god, you’re my new best friend.”

As everyone else laughed at him, Nico felt a prickle of discomfort. He couldn’t exactly place where it had come from; all he knew was that he wished Will was paying attention to him right now instead of Rachel. But before Nico could give it much thought, the conversation moved on.

“I’m just glad that Piper’s already high, so she can’t try to pierce my nose again,” Grover stated.

“Oh, like that’ll stop me,” Piper joked. “Nico, do you have a needle?”

“Not a chance,” Nico snapped at her.

A thoughtful look came over Shel’s face. “You know what would look cool on you, Nico? A lip piercing.”

Will glanced over at Nico, his eyes filled with adoration. “Yeah, that would be hot,” he blurted out, and Nico, who had been taking a sip of his wine, began to choke on it.

Their friends all started to laugh, except for Will, who moved to pat Nico on the back, making sure he was okay. He was murmuring words of concern, but Nico couldn’t comprehend any of it, not when Will’s words from earlier were swimming in his head.

Of course, Will had complimented him before. He was very open with showing verbal affection, much more than Nico was, and his boyfriend had called him a whole slew of things: cute, pretty, sometimes beautiful, even. But Will had never called him hot before. And honestly, Nico hadn’t even thought about it much before now. His own insecurities had led him to subconsciously accept that his boyfriend would never find him physically attractive. But Will had just proven him wrong, and it made something warm curl in Nico’s stomach.

The conversation continued on, but Nico didn’t even know what was being said. The hand that Will had been using to rub his back earlier had come down to rest on his waist, and against his better judgment, Nico was overwhelmed by the urge to curl up against his boyfriend’s side. He managed to resist, continuing to just stare at Will, entranced, watching the way his lips moved as he talked, the way his cheeks dimpled as he smiled.

The sound of someone saying his name broke him out of his trance, and Nico glanced around, trying to figure out who had said it. His gaze finally landed on Piper. “Huh?” he managed to get out.

“I asked if you would ever want to get any tattoos,” she repeated.

“Oh, um, I’ve thought about getting a sleeve on my arm, to cover up my, uh…”

To cover up my scars, Nico thought to himself, still retaining enough self-control to stop himself from saying it out loud.

Rachel gave him a knowing look. “If I ever get licensed to tattoo, maybe I could do it for you,” she suggested. “So that you could be more comfortable.”

“Thanks,” Nico mumbled, shifting a little, still quite uncomfortable even discussing the possibility.

Will seemed to take notice, and so he spoke up, diverting everyone’s attention away from Nico. “I have a tattoo already,” he said. “I got it on my sixteenth birthday.”

“Woah, cool! Can I see it?” Piper asked.

“Sure!” And then Will moved to undo the tie that was holding his shirt together, pulling it open so that his bare torso was exposed in its entirety. Nico didn’t know whether to be ecstatic or panicked. Everyone else was admiring Will’s tattoo, which Nico hoped would cover up the fact that he was admiring more than just the sun design inked into his boyfriend’s skin. His face flushed as he fixed his gaze on Will’s chest, which was smattered with freckles just like his cheeks were; then his eyes drifted lower, to Will’s abs, just barely defined and hardly visible in the soft lighting of the living room. Everything about Will was soft, from his personality to his skin, and right then, all Nico could think about was how he was just dying to reach out and—

“Can I touch it?” Piper asked, interrupting Nico’s train of thought. It took Nico a second to comprehend what she was asking, during which Will nodded to give her his permission. And then she was reaching out and tracing her fingers along the lines of his tattoo, which caused him to giggle.

“That tickles!” he complained.

All at once, Nico was overwhelmed by an intense wave of jealousy. Will was his boyfriend, and he had never gotten to touch his chest before, and now Piper was touching it right in front of him, but it wasn’t like could do anything about it, he was totally flustered and it wasn’t fair.

“I’m going to get some more wine,” Nico announced, standing up abruptly and almost falling over as soon as he did so, because sh*t, he was dizzy. He stumbled into the kitchen, trying to distract himself, but the whole time he was refilling his cup with wine he couldn’t get the image of his boyfriend out of his head, sitting on the floor next to him, shirtless, his tattooed chest on full display.

f*ck, why does he have to be so hot?! Nico thought to himself, so frustrated that he thought he might cry. He had no idea how he was going to go out there and face Will again, in front of all of his friends, unable to relieve any of the tension he was feeling.

He stayed in the kitchen for another minute, just until he had gotten his heart rate under control, before he finally worked up the courage to turn around and head back into the living room, only to immediately walk straight into a wall. A second later, he realized that he hadn’t walked into a wall at all; it was his boyfriend.

“Ma che cazzo, Will?!” Nico exclaimed in surprise as his cup of wine spilled all over his boyfriend. Luckily— or perhaps not so luckily, Nico hadn’t decided yet— Will had done a rather poor job of tying his shirt closed, so most of the wine hadn’t actually landed on the fabric, but on his chest, instead.

“Oh sh*t, sorry,” Will blurted out, staring down at the wine dripping down his front, looking like he couldn’t believe what had just happened.

“Why did you follow me in here?” Nico hissed. Now that he was in close proximity to his boyfriend, his former agitation had returned in full force.

“Because I think you, um… I think it might be a good idea for you to slow down on the alcohol,” Will told him, and Nico clenched his jaw in annoyance. He was about to argue, to snap back that Will couldn’t tell him what to do, when Will reached out and linked their hands together. “And because… You left, and I missed you.”

Nico stared into Will’s eyes, so full of concern and sincerity, and right then, he came to a decision.

“Come on, you can get cleaned up in the bathroom,” he told his boyfriend, tugging him along by the hand.

Nico swore to himself that he wasn’t going to freak out this time. It wasn’t going to be like when they were watching Star Wars last weekend; he refused to spiral into a panic when things were just starting to get heated. He was going to prove to Will that he could handle it, convince him that he wouldn’t get overwhelmed, and then Will would finally let go of his reservations and give Nico the kind of attention he so desperately craved.

Nico pulled Will into the bathroom; his boyfriend followed right behind him, happy and kind of oblivious, so much so that Nico had to tell him to go back and close the door. Once he had done so, he came to stand in front of the mirror, surveying the extent of the damage to his costume.

“Do you have any washcloths I could use?” he asked.

Nico stepped in front of him. “We don’t need them,” he darkly replied.

Will glanced down at him in confusion, looking like he was going to protest, but Nico silenced him by leaning forward and pressing a soft kiss to his wine-covered collarbone. They were so close to each other that Nico could hear the way Will swallowed thickly in response, and it sent a massive rush of adrenaline through his body.

“What are you doing?” Will whispered, his voice weak. Nico was at eye level with his boyfriend’s Adam’s apple; it bobbed a little as Will spoke, and Nico couldn’t tear his gaze away.

“Helping you clean up,” he whispered back, before stepping up on his tiptoes and pressing his lips to Will’s throat. He nibbled at the delicate skin there, eliciting a bout of giggles from his boyfriend.

“Oh, I get it now,” Will murmured. “You only brought me in here to— f*ck! Nico, that hurts!”

Nico quickly pulled back from where he had bitten down on Will’s neck, probably a lot harder than he should have. “M’sorry,” he mumbled, tracing his fingertips over the two angry little marks he had left behind. “Forgot I was wearing the fangs.”

As Nico fumbled to take his fake fangs out, Will began to laugh. “You really are a vampire!”

“Shut up,” Nico grumbled, his face hot with embarrassment.

“And what’ll you do if I don’t?” Will asked, still laughing. “Gonna bite me again?”

Nico surged forward and latched his lips back onto Will’s throat, sucking hard, and the noise it drew from his boyfriend’s mouth made his stomach fill with butterflies. He continued to nip and suck at Will’s neck as he backed him up against the wall, only stopping when he felt Will’s hands in his hair, gently tugging him away.

“You’re gonna leave marks if you’re not careful,” Will said, but his gaze wasn’t scolding, only adoring. He cupped Nico’s face in his hands, then leaned down, until they were so close to each other that Nico was afraid to breathe. “Kiss me here instead,” he whispered against Nico’s lips.

Nico didn’t need to be told twice. He desperately closed the distance between them, coaxing Will’s mouth open with his tongue as Will’s fingers curled in his hair. And then Nico was lost, consumed by the warm pleasure that only his boyfriend’s touch could bring him. The alcohol in his system made him bold, and so as Will continued to kiss him feverishly, Nico moved to fumble with the tie holding his boyfriend’s shirt together. His drunkenness also made him clumsy, and so it took him way too long to undo the knot; after a few moments of struggle, he practically tore Will’s shirt open, and finally, finally, he was able to do what he had come there for in the first place.

Will gasped against Nico’s lips as Nico reached forward, his fingers splayed out over Will’s lower abdomen. He couldn’t keep the giddy smile off his face as he moved his hands upwards, dragging his fingernails over the solid plane of his boyfriend’s abs, so warm and soft, just how Nico had imagined they would feel.

As he continued to explore his boyfriend’s wine-damp chest, Will broke the kiss, panting hard. Nico chased after him, pressing kiss after kiss to his lower lip, the corner of his mouth. “You taste good,” Will mumbled, laughing to himself. “Like wine.”

Spurred to action by his comment, Nico shifted down, away from Will’s lips and towards his chest. Before he could think about what he was doing, he locked eyes with his boyfriend, then leaned closer and licked up some of the wine that had been dribbling down his skin. “You taste good, too,” he said with a smirk, and he saw Will’s jaw go slack.

Nico gazed up at his boyfriend through his eyelashes as he continued to lick the wine from his chest, slow and languid and sensual, his hands on Will’s waist, keeping him pressed back against the wall. He relished in the sounds he pulled from Will’s mouth; his soft sighs of pleasure, the way his breath hitched, it all went straight to Nico’s head, washing over him in a wave of blissful euphoria. In spite of the lewdness of his behavior, he didn’t feel embarrassed or ashamed. He just felt hot.

Some of the wine had dripped pretty far down Will’s torso, so Nico moved lower and lower, shifting his hands from Will’s waist to his hips. Will stared at him, transfixed, as Nico dragged his tongue from his boyfriend’s navel all the way up to the center of his sternum, feeling the muscles of his abs flex in reaction to his touch. Nico stood back up on his tiptoes, but he didn’t press forward to kiss Will; instead, he made him watch as he licked his own lips, tasting the sweet liquid that lingered on them.

And then he dropped back down, grinning widely to himself as he pressed his lips to his boyfriend’s abs once again. Will, faced flushed and breathing hard, threaded both of his hands through Nico’s hair as he tipped his head back against the wall, staring up at the ceiling. “F-f*ck, Nico…”

Time seemed to slow down as Nico registered the sound of the doorknob turning, the bathroom door opening; it was too late to react, and a second later, Percy stepped inside, then froze where he stood in the doorway. He stared at the two of them for a moment, before he blurted out, “Oh my god, my eyes!”

“Get out!” Nico and Will shouted in unison, the former sounding mortified and the latter sounding enraged.

“Sorry!” Percy exclaimed, quickly slamming the door shut and dashing away down the hallway.

It was silent for a second. The only sounds Nico could hear were Will’s heavy breathing and his own heartbeat pounding in his ears. He was still staring right at Will’s abs, but his face was burning with embarrassment now. The hazy exhilaration he had felt earlier was gone, replaced by annoyance and frustration.

He stood up straight, now face-to-face with his boyfriend. “You didn’t lock the door?!”

“You didn’t tell me to lock the door!” Will defended himself. “All you said was to close it! How was I supposed to know you were bringing me in here because you wanted to make out?!”

“Why else would I bring you in here?!”

“To help me clean up the wine you spilled on me!”

“That’s what I did!” Nico exclaimed, and then his stomach did a flip, because holy sh*t, he had just licked wine off of his boyfriend’s abs, in front of Percy Jackson. “Oh my god,” he groaned, burying his face in his hands. “He’s going to tell everyone. I can never show my face around any of my friends ever again.”

Nico was just beginning to contemplate climbing out the bathroom window, or faking his own death, when Will reached out and linked their hands together, giving him a small, reassuring smile. “Hey, it’s gonna be okay, okay? I’ll stick with you, we’re in this together. But, um…” He bit his lip, glancing away in embarrassment. “It’s probably better if we don’t go back out there just yet. I think I— I kinda need a minute to cool off.”

Cool off? Nico almost asked, but then his eyes widened as he realized exactly what his boyfriend meant. Panic welled up in his chest, and he backed away, desperately trying to stop his gaze from drifting down to the tented front of Will’s pants.

“I’m sorry,” Will called after him as he steadied himself on the bathroom sink. “I really didn’t mean to—”

“No, I’m— I’m sorry,” Nico blurted out, unable to meet his boyfriend’s eyes. “I’m the one who— It’s my fault—”

“But I didn’t— I didn’t stop you,” Will reminded him. “It’s my fault, too.”

Heavy, awkward silence settled over the two of them. Nico felt like he had been drenched with cold water. He didn’t know why he hadn’t been affected the way that Will was; maybe it was the alcohol? Surely, the alcohol was the reason he had been brave enough to go so far, too far, in the first place. He definitely wasn’t brave enough to go any farther, though, so the two of them had no choice but to wait it out.

Across from him, Will laughed softly, trying to break some of the tension. “Hey, at least now you know for sure that I think you’re hot.”

Nico shrank in on himself and stared down at the floor, sure that his face must be bright red by now. That was the second time Will had called him that word, and Nico had no idea how to respond.

“Sorry,” Will mumbled, his voice filled with regret. “Am I making you uncomfortable?”

“I don’t— I don’t know,” Nico stammered. His mouth felt dry.

It was silent for another minute. Nico moved to sit on the vanity, then worked up the courage to glance back up at his boyfriend. Will looked like he was spacing out. His shirt was still hanging open, leaving his toned chest exposed, and Nico couldn’t help but think about how, sitting on the countertop, he was at the perfect height for Will to come stand there between his legs and kiss him until he couldn’t breathe—

“Can you close your shirt, please?” Nico blurted out, dispelling his fantasy and catching Will’s attention. “It’s, um, really distracting.”

“Oh yeah, sorry,” Will replied. Nico watched him tie his shirt closed. While one part of him was relieved, the other part of him wanted to cry. He silently mourned the loss of the gorgeous view. But soon enough, he realized that he might’ve just made his problem worse; now, the only thing his eyes were drawn to was his boyfriend’s crotch.

“And can you— can you turn around, too?” Nico asked him, blushing furiously.

“Alright,” Will agreed, turning around to face the wall, leaning his forehead against it. A second later, the silence was interrupted by the sound of Will sneezing.

“Salute,” Nico mumbled under his breath.

“Thanks,” Will said, and then he started to giggle. “I sneezed when I was getting high, too. Rachel said it’s normal, but I still think it’s weird.”

When he said that, Nico was reminded of the existence of all his other friends. In the best case scenario, Percy hadn’t told any of them about what he had walked in on, but Nico knew him well enough to predict that he had gone crying to Annabeth, claiming to be scarred for life by what he had seen. Nico was acutely aware that with every minute that passed, his friends would be getting more and more suspicious of what he and Will were doing together in the bathroom, and the thought made him want to shrivel up and die. He was getting impatient, and he was starting to feel antsy.

“Is it gone yet?” he finally asked his boyfriend.

Will groaned. “No.”

Nico curled his legs up to his chest, resting his head on his knees. He waited another minute, before asking, “How about now?”

“Still no,” Will replied, frustration evident in his voice. He shifted in place. “Look, Nico, can you just— Can you step outside for a second?”

Nico’s eyes widened in shock. “Are you going to—”

“No!” Will exclaimed, horrified, his face flushing red. “I’m just gonna, y’know, readjust it a little… Cause right now I’m pretty sure it’s at, like, the worst possible angle—”

“Okay, okay!” Nico blurted out. He couldn’t stand to hear Will talk about it anymore, so he shot off the vanity and out the bathroom door. He shut it behind him, but true to his word, Will opened it up again only a few moments later.

“Alright, I’m good,” he said, flashing Nico a nervous smile. He began to walk towards the living room, reaching out his hand to take hold of Nico’s.

Nico stared down at it dubiously. “Did you wash your hands?”

Will made a grossed out face. “Of course I did!” When Nico still didn’t move, Will rolled his eyes. “Come on, you’ve held my hand before, and it’s not like I’ve never touched my own—”

Will was cut off by the sound of someone wolf-whistling. Thalia was the one who had done it; Jason was standing next to her, shaking his head in disappointment. “Didn’t you learn anything from my mistakes, Nico?”

Nico shoved past Jason and Thalia and into the living room, trying to ignore their laughter. When he glanced up at the rest of his friends, they were all silent, staring at him and Will with knowing looks on their faces. Even Hazel was whispering something to Frank, sneaking glances at the two of them, and Nico wanted to disappear. Despite his earlier reluctance, he reached out and clung to Will’s hand, trying to hide behind his boyfriend.

Reyna was the first to speak up. “It looks like you’ve been sucking his blood,” she said to Nico, pointing out the residual lipstick smeared on Will’s throat.

Leo began to snicker into his hand. “Bet that’s not the only thing he’s been—”

“Finish that sentence and you’re dead, Valdez,” Nico growled, fixing the other boy with his scariest glare, though his face felt like it was on fire.

Next to him, Shel began to laugh. “I guess Will thought his vampire boyfriend needed some vitamin D!”

When she heard her girlfriend’s joke, Piper doubled over, wheezing with laughter. “Yeah, Nico, was he— was he letting you play with his lightsaber?”

“I’ll kill you!” Nico shouted, vibrating with rage. He moved to take a step towards her. “I will literally—”

“No killing tonight, please,” Nico heard Will say, and then there were hands around his waist and his feet were leaving the floor. Nico let out an undignified shriek, clinging desperately to the fabric of Will’s shirt as Will tossed him over his shoulder. His head was spinning, he was completely disoriented; when he finally got his bearings, it dawned on him that his face was dangling dangerously close to his boyfriend’s ass.

“Put me down!” he fumed, pounding on Will’s back with his fists, but it didn’t seem to be very effective. Will just laughed, and Nico could hear the rest of his friends laughing, too. Nico wriggled around a bit, too afraid of Will dropping him to move very much. “Will! Come on!”

“Promise not to kill anybody, and I’ll put you down,” Will teased him.

“I’ll kill you if you don’t put me down right now,” Nico hissed as Will walked both of them over towards the couch. Before he could prepare himself, Will practically threw him down onto it, knocking the breath out of him and triggering another wave of dizziness.

“You wouldn’t do that,” Will stated, an amused smile on his face as he climbed on top of Nico, straddling him. All Nico could focus on was his boyfriend’s face as he continued, “Because then you’d be single, and sad, and alone—”

“f*ck off, Solace,” Nico grumbled; he couldn’t stand to even entertain the thought.

Will let out a laugh. “Oh, so I’m ‘Solace’ now, huh?” He leaned down to whisper right in Nico’s ear. “Was I ‘Solace’ when we were making out in the bathroom earlier?”

“f*ck off, Will,” Nico choked out, but his voice came out breathy and weak.

“You need a major attitude adjustment,” his boyfriend said, shaking his head in disappointment. He thought for a second, then asked, “Are you ticklish, by any chance?”

As he processed Will’s question, Nico’s eyes widened in horror. “No,” he gasped, trying to wiggle out from underneath his boyfriend, to no avail. “No, I’m not, I swear—”

“That doesn’t sound like something a person who isn’t ticklish would say,” Will said, a wicked smirk on his face.

And then his hands were on Nico’s waist, running up and down his sides, ripping the air right out of his lungs. “No!” Nico practically screamed, squirming and writhing and convulsing as laughter bubbled up out of his chest. “No, stop it! I— I can’t— f*ck, Will! Stop! Please!”

“Apologize for threatening to kill people, and I’ll stop,” Will told him.

“I’m sorry!” Nico yelled out. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry!”

Will moved his hands from Nico’s sides to cup his face, smiling down at him fondly. “Alright, I forgive you,” he said as Nico struggled to catch his breath. Then he leaned down and crashed their lips together, and Nico couldn’t breathe again, for an entirely different reason.

As Will kissed him within an inch of his life, Nico was vaguely aware of his friends looking down on the two of them, watching them.

“Oh my god, are they—”

“Jesus, get a room, you guys!”

“I am so getting this on video to blackmail them later.”

“Ew, Piper, you sound like Octavian!”

“I don’t know, I think they’re kinda cute!”

“Yeah, I’ve never seen Nico laugh so much before.”

And then another voice, out of place: “Nico! What’s going on, is something wrong?”

Nico shoved his boyfriend off in a panic; Will unceremoniously tumbled to the floor. “Dad!” Nico exclaimed, scrambling to sit up straight. “What— What are you doing down here?” And then, as if he hadn’t already suffered enough, his body spasmed and he let out a loud hiccup.

Persephone peeked out from behind Nico’s father as the two of them stepped out of the stairwell. “We heard you screaming,” she said, her voice filled with concern. “We thought it might be an emergency.”

Nico felt a wave of shame wash over him as he realized that his parents were just on high alert because of what had happened the year before. “No, I’m—” Another hiccup. “I’m fine, I swear.”

His father narrowed his eyes in suspicion. His gaze flickered down to Will, who was still on the floor and who looked like his life was flashing before his eyes, and then to Piper, who was still discreetly recording the entire scene on her phone. “Are you sure?”

Nico just nodded, in order to prevent another hiccup from escaping his mouth.

“Okay,” Hades finally said, though he sounded hesitant. Before he headed back upstairs, he pulled Jason aside, and Nico overheard him say, “Please make sure he doesn’t drink any more wine.”

I’m so grounded, Nico thought, though he couldn’t really bring himself to care at the moment.

Once his dad left, everyone began to disperse. Will still looked stricken and terrified. “He’s gonna kill me,” Nico heard him mumble.

“He’s not going to kill you just because he saw you kissing me,” Nico told his boyfriend, knowing that he should be embarrassed, but past the point of worrying about it. Will still didn’t seem reassured.

Percy walked over to the two of them, awkwardly rubbing at the back of his neck. “Hey, you guys, uh… I just wanted to let you know that someone ordered pizza, and it got here around the same time as me and Annabeth, but you probably didn’t know about it, because you were, um, in the bathroom… Just thought I should let you guys know.”

Nico hiccuped painfully. “Okay.”

“Alright, um… Cool,” Percy said, and then he turned and walked away, his face beet-red.

Will stared after him. “Pizza… Pizza sounds nice,” he murmured, his eyes filled with longing. “Nico, are you hungry?”

“Not really,” he answered.

“I’ll bring you some,” Will said, already jumping to his feet. Before he left, he grabbed Nico’s hand and pressed a firm kiss to his knuckles. “Be right back.”

Nico desperately tried to suppress his hiccups, clutching his stomach as he waited for his boyfriend to return. After a minute, someone sat down on the couch next to him, but it wasn’t Will; it was Reyna.

“You should drink some water,” she said softly, handing him a glass.

Nico reached out and grabbed it from her with both of his hands. “Thank you,” he mumbled, taking little sips of it.

“Are you feeling okay?” she asked, and then she did something that surprised him; she leaned closer and wrapped her arm around his shoulders.

Nico stared up at her with wide eyes. A surge of emotion suddenly threatened to overwhelm him, a mixture of sadness and nostalgia and grief. He hadn’t been taken care of like this since Bianca died. And Reyna looked so much like her, too; it was no wonder he had confused the two of them last year. Nico’s eyes began to well up with tears.

“Nico?” Reyna asked, alarmed. “Nico, what’s wrong?”

He couldn’t possibly explain it, it was stupid, and so he went to say I’m fine, but what came out of his mouth was a mix between a hiccup and a sob.

Nico squeezed his eyes shut, but he couldn’t stop a few tears from slipping out. Reyna moved to wipe them from his cheeks, and that just made him start crying even harder. “Thank you for taking care of me,” he sniffled.

She took his cup of water away and set it on a side table. Nico made grabby hands at her, prompting her to open herself up for a hug. “It’s okay, I’m here,” Reyna murmured into his hair, and it was everything that Nico wanted to hear, but at the same time, it would never be enough.

“Vorrei che fossi qui,” Nico whispered.

I wish you were here.

Someone else stopped as they were passing by; Nico recognized Annabeth’s voice as she asked, “Hey, what’s going on?”

“Could you go get Hazel, please?” Reyna asked her, rubbing comforting circles into Nico’s back.

A moment later, Hazel plopped down on the couch next to him, prying him away from Reyna. “Nico, can you tell me what’s wrong?” she asked as he curled up against her side. He couldn’t bring himself to speak.

“I’ll leave you two alone,” Reyna said, giving Nico’s shoulder a final squeeze before she stood up and walked away.

But they really weren’t alone together for long; Will returned only a few moments later, holding a box of pizza. “Oh sh*t, what did I miss?”

“M’fine,” Nico choked out. He clung tighter to Hazel as he tried to pull himself together.

“He just needs a little cheering up, that’s all,” Hazel said, and then she planted a kiss on his cheek. “Does that sound alright, Nico?”

Nico sniffled and nodded.

So Hazel took his hand in her own and began pressing kiss after kiss to his cheek, his forehead. “I can help,” Will offered, sitting down and wrapping his arms around Nico. And then Nico was sandwiched between his two favorite people in the world as they both smothered him with kisses.

Will blew a raspberry against his tear-stained cheek. “Ew, stop it!” Nico exclaimed, squirming in his boyfriend’s arms, giggling uncontrollably.

This went on for another minute, until Nico was laughing so hard that his stomach hurt and his hiccups had gone away. When he finally got a second to breathe, he glanced up, and saw Frank awkwardly watching the three of them.

“The rest of us were thinking about putting on a movie,” he told them as he walked over to the TV console.

“Oh, sweet!” Will exclaimed. His eyes lit up with excitement. “We should totally watch a horror movie!”

Everyone else froze. Frank and Hazel both stared at Nico, waiting to see what he would do. “Um, actually… That’s probably not a good idea,” he finally said.

“Why not?” Will asked. He looked confused for a second, before his mouth curled into a teasing smirk. “Don’t tell me you’re afraid of scary movies, Mr. Lord of Darkness.”

Nico shifted uncomfortably. “It’s not that I’m afraid of them, I just— I really can’t watch them, okay?”

“It’s okay to admit it, I promise I won’t make fun of you that much,” Will said, pouting at him. Nico leaned closer to Hazel, and she gave his hand a comforting squeeze. “Come on, I’ll even cuddle you during the scary parts.”

“I’m not scared of them, Will,” Nico told him, feeling his impatience growing by the second. “Will you just drop it?”

“Well if you’re not scared, then why don’t you wanna—”

“Because I have PTSD!” Nico blurted out, and Will’s jaw dropped in shock. Everyone was just staring at him, and the room was totally silent, so Nico continued, “I, um… I’ve been diagnosed with PTSD, Will. That’s why I can’t watch them.”

“You’re— You’re serious?” Will whispered.

Nico nodded, staring at the floor. “Last year— Last year, on Halloween, Piper wanted to watch a slasher movie,” he started to explain. “I didn’t think I was going to have a problem with it, but in the first few minutes of the movie, someone— a girl was stabbed to death, and I— Seeing all the blood, watching her die… It all just reminded me of— of Bianca.” Nico hugged his arms to his chest. “I tried to close my eyes, but I could still— I could still hear the girl in the movie screaming… I— I don’t really remember what happened after that…”

“No one noticed anything was wrong at first,” Hazel took over for him, and Nico felt himself relax against her. “Reyna was the first person to realize that Nico had started crying, and when she went to comfort him, he started clinging to her, and— and begging her not to die… It was really scary to watch. Percy got so upset that he went and threw up in the bathroom.”

“I was reenacting Bianca’s death,” Nico murmured, seeing the shocked look on Will’s face. “I didn’t know where I was anymore, or what was really going on… It was like it— like it was happening all over again. A flashback. And when I— when I finally came back to reality, and realized that everyone else had seen it happen, I— I felt so humiliated that I went and— and locked myself in my bedroom…”

Hazel leaned her head on his shoulder as he swallowed around the lump in his throat. “And, well… I had a razor blade hidden in my sock drawer… And I, um…”

Nico couldn’t bring himself to describe that part out loud. And he didn’t think Will could handle hearing about it, either, judging by the look of horror on his face, the way he had covered his mouth with his hand.

“Leo saw,” he continued, “since Hazel asked him to pick the lock on my bedroom door… And Percy, too, because he was in the bathroom when Leo ran to get some gauze, and he came back to help. Hazel and Percy already knew that I— But everyone else— That’s how everyone else found out.”

Will reached over and delicately took his hand. “And you didn’t— you didn’t go to the ER, or anything?” he asked, his voice weak.

Nico felt a prickle of annoyance. “My parents weren’t home,” he said, instead of snapping, Why would I go to the emergency room? I’d hurt myself worse than that before. “Jason called them, but by the time they got back, Hazel and Percy had already— I had already been stabilized.”

Will looked incredulous. “And no one made you go to therapy after that?”

Nico laughed. “Well, they tried, but what were they going to do? Pick me up and drag me there?” When no one else looked amused, Nico’s voice softened. “I— I talked to Mr. D about it at school. But all my dad could really do was take the lock off my bedroom door.”

“You’re in therapy for it now, though,” Hazel reminded him.

“And it’s so exhausting…” He let out a sad sigh. Everyone was quiet after that, so Nico spoke up again. “Well, that’s the reason I can’t watch horror movies, and the story of how I— how I ruined last year’s Halloween party.”

“It’s not your fault,” Frank blurted out, and Nico glanced up at him in surprise. “I don’t— Nobody blames you for what happened.”

In spite of what he had said, he still looked highly uncomfortable, and it just reminded Nico that he was a freak, that he probably shouldn’t have talked about any of this at all. “Thanks,” he mumbled anyway.

“Will, you might not know, since you’re new to the friend group, but there are certain things we all try to avoid talking about, or having around, for these kinds of reasons,” Hazel said. “Like Annabeth, she’s the reason we didn’t hang up any fake cobwebs for Halloween, since she’s really afraid of spiders.”

“Or like Percy, he can’t stand the smell of beer,” Frank added.

Nico laughed guiltily. “Yeah, uh, remember what I said earlier? Well, Percy isn’t actually allergic to gluten or anything.”

Will looked really confused, but he didn’t seem to dwell on it. “What about you?” he asked as he reached for the pizza box he had brought over, taking out a slice. “What else should I be careful about?”

“You mean, besides the obvious?” Nico joked. “Um… I don’t like being trapped in tight spaces, or being in total darkness. I get claustrophobic really easily.” He hoped Will wouldn’t ask him to explain why.

“Is there anything you’re uncomfortable with, Will?” Hazel asked him.

“Well, I used to be afraid of snakes, like how Annabeth is afraid of spiders, but after my mom got me a pet snake, that kinda went away.” He thought for a moment. “And, I guess, um… I guess I don’t like it when people talk about drowning.”

Nico wondered what the reason for that was, but Will resolutely bit down on his slice of pizza, and Nico got the feeling that he didn’t want to talk about it anymore. Frank spoke up again instead. “So, uh, what movie should we watch?”

“How about Ghostbusters?” Will suggested through a mouthful of pizza.

Nico had actually seen that movie before, and he liked it quite a lot; he was about to agree, but Hazel cut him off. “Actually, that might not be the best idea, either. Y’know, because of Leo’s mom.”

“What about her?” Will asked.

“She burned to death in a machine shop fire,” Nico told him.

“Like the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man,” Frank added gravely.

“What the f*ck,” Will whispered, looking shaken.

“Got any other ideas?” Hazel asked him, and Nico seriously hoped Will wouldn’t suggest a war documentary or something, because that would open up a whole other can of worms.

“It doesn’t even have to be about Halloween,” Frank said.

Will thought for a moment longer, and then his eyes lit up. “Y’all, I think I have the perfect movie.”

So that was how Nico ended up lying on the couch with his boyfriend, watching Elf, a Christmas movie, on Halloween. Well, watching was a strong word; Will was positioned between him and the TV screen, and all Nico could do was stare at his boyfriend’s face, mesmerized, while the movie played in the background.

Nico reached up to trace patterns in the freckles on Will’s cheeks. They reminded him of constellations, of stars in the night sky. “You have stars on your skin,” he whispered to his boyfriend.

Will scooted closer, tangling their legs together. “You have stars in your eyes,” he whispered back, equally entranced. He smiled fondly. “Wanna know a secret?”

“M’kay,” Nico mumbled in agreement.

“Remember what you said about me earlier, when you were talking with Percy’s little sister?” Will asked, and Nico stared back at him in confusion. “Well, I think you’re pretty, too.”

“Oh,” Nico breathed. “Well, I— I think you’re…” He struggled to get the words out for a second. “Beautiful,” he finally managed to say. It was the first time he had called Will that out loud.

“Well I’m hot,” Leo chimed in from where he was sitting on the ground in front of the couch, earning a chorus of giggles from the rest of their friends.

Nico and Will both ignored him. “Beautiful,” Nico said again. He relished in the way his mouth formed the word so easily now. “You’re like a Renaissance painting.”

“And you’re an angel,” Will murmured, running his fingers along Nico’s jaw.

Nico shivered at the touch. “Kiss me,” he blurted out, a desperate, quiet plea.

Will leaned forward and kissed him softly. Nico melted in his arms, giving himself up to the warmth that had spread through his limbs, the way his head was buzzing with happiness. He wanted Will to kiss him forever, to hold him forever, to stay with him forever. He never wanted this moment to end.

Vaguely, he registered the sound of footsteps approaching. “Hey, Nico, I think we’re gonna— Oh, oh god, not again—”

Nico detached his lips from Will’s, letting out a huff of annoyance. “What do you want, Percy?”

Annabeth answered, since Percy was pointedly not looking in his direction. “We’re going to head out, now.”

“Thanks for having us over,” Percy said, and as he spoke, Will pulled Nico closer, almost possessively.

“Does anybody need a ride?” Annabeth asked.

“Nah, we’re staying,” Jason replied. “Somebody has to watch over all the drunk people.”

“Alright, well… We’ll see you at school next week,” Percy told them all. Will began to press little kisses along Nico’s jawline, like he was demanding his boyfriend’s attention. Percy awkwardly glanced down at the two of them. “And, uh, take it easy, you guys.”

“Don’t tell me what to do,” Will grumbled as Percy walked away.

“What’s your problem?” Nico asked him, annoyed.

Will glanced up at him, a pout on his face. “You stopped kissing me to talk to him.”

Right then, Nico realized that he could take advantage of Will’s weird one-sided rivalry with Percy in order to benefit himself. “I guess you’ll just have to make up for lost time, then.”

Will kissed him enthusiastically. Nico opened up for him, let him deepen it, loving the way he was taking control, the way it made him feel so wanted. They were so close to each other that it was impossible to tell where Will’s body ended and Nico’s body began. Nico was wrapped in his boyfriend’s arms, pressed up against his chest, and he wasn’t freaking out about it, not even a little bit. He hummed happily. This was where he belonged.

“We can all hear you kissing, you know,” Reyna spoke up.

Nico pulled back from Will, pausing for a second. He had kind of forgotten that his friends had set up pillows and blankets on the floor in front of the couch; while all the older kids had left, and Frank and Hazel were curled up in a reclining chair together, asleep, the rest of his friends were lying right underneath him and Will. Shel was cuddling Piper, who was cuddling Leo, who was cuddling Jason, who was not cuddling Reyna, because Reyna didn’t like to be cuddled.

“Sorry,” Nico mumbled to her; she was sitting directly below his and Will’s heads. Then he turned back to his boyfriend and leaned closer to him, whispering against his lips, “Kiss me quieter.”

After that, Will’s kisses were delicate and tender. Nico tried to stay present, to stay mindful of not bothering his friends, but he was quickly overwhelmed by the warm pleasure of Will’s mouth on his own, drowning out the world around them. When Will reached up and threaded his fingers through Nico’s hair, Nico couldn’t stop a blissful sigh from escaping his lips.

And then they were both rudely interrupted by Leo, who turned around and hit them with his pillow. “Cut it out, lovebirds!”

Nico flipped him off. “Don’t be hom*ophobic.”

“Hey!” Leo exclaimed, sounding genuinely offended. “I’m not hom*ophobic, you guys are just making me feel lonely!”

While their other friends laughed at that, Will moved to whisper to Nico. “You like it when I play with your hair?”

“Yeah,” Nico mumbled, their noses brushing together. So Will ran his hands through Nico’s hair again, scratching gently at his scalp, and Nico couldn’t help the shudder that ran through his body. “f*ck, that feels so nice…”

“Hands in the air, Will!” Jason suddenly exclaimed, leaping to his feet and looming over the two of them. “Show me your hands!”

“Jesus, I’m just playing with his hair,” Will said, laughing a little. Nico hid his face in embarrassment. He was glad Jason hadn’t asked to see his own hands, which had been creeping towards the hem of Will’s shirt.

“Seriously, if you guys are gonna get it on, go do it in Nico’s bedroom,” Piper complained. “This is literally his house.”

“We’re not getting it on!” Nico groaned, burying his face in the crook of Will’s neck.

Now they’ve got me thinking about it, though, Nico thought, mortified.

He remembered what had happened in the bathroom earlier, how far things had gone, how good it had felt to make his boyfriend so flustered. He wondered what else might’ve happened if they hadn’t been interrupted; would Will have stopped him? Probably, Nico decided. He couldn’t imagine that Will would be okay with doing anything like that while he was drunk.

But still, Nico was acutely aware that the shame and guilt he usually felt whenever he thought about being physical with his boyfriend were nowhere to be found tonight. Maybe they would return when he was sober, or maybe they wouldn’t. Only time would tell. There was one thing he was sure of, though; the thought of Will reciprocating, the thought of Will calling him hot and actually wanting to touch him, was utterly terrifying. When it came to anything like that, Nico was shrouded in insecurity and doubt and self-consciousness, and whether he was drunk or sober, that didn’t go away.

Maybe he should’ve talked to Will about it. Maybe he should’ve apologized, should’ve told him that he thought they had moved too fast. But right then, he wasn’t sure he would really even remember much when he woke up the next morning, and he was too tired to deal with it at the moment.

“I’m going to be so hungover tomorrow, aren’t I?” Nico grumbled into Will’s shirt.

“Don’t worry,” Will whispered fondly, cradling Nico’s head against his chest. “I’ll take care of you, I promise.”

Nico drifted off to sleep with a smile on his face, knowing that whatever happened the next day, his boyfriend would be there, looking out for him, keeping his promise.

Chapter 4

Chapter Text

One of the biggest perks of dating Will, Nico had decided, was getting to be friends with all of Will’s friends. It had been a little intimidating at first, but Nico was slowly warming up to them more and more each time they all hung out.

Today was another one of those times. They were celebrating Friendsgiving at Will’s house, which Will had explained was a less formal take on Thanksgiving, with a dessert potluck instead of a traditional dinner. Since he wasn’t American, not to mention his strained relationship with food, Nico didn’t particularly care for Thanksgiving, but this hangout had been a good excuse for him and Hazel to try making beignets, at least.

Hazel had been invited, too, and she was currently sitting across from Lou Ellen on the floor. The two of them got along well; Hazel loved to listen to Lou talk about her tarot cards and being Wiccan. Nico thought she was cool, too. Out of all of Will’s friends, he got along with her the best.

That wasn’t to say he didn’t like the rest of them; Lavinia was cool, even though Nico still hadn’t worked up the courage to come to any GSA club meetings. Over the past few months, she had taught him a little bit of Russian, and he had taught her some Italian in exchange. Cecil seemed like he had made it his personal mission to get Nico to laugh as frequently as possible, and Austin was always down to talk about music. Kayla was a bit more energetic than Nico was used to, but Hazel was able to keep up with her just fine.

Right then, Kayla, Hazel, Will, and Cecil were playing a Wii game that Will had projected up onto his wall. Nico had been playing earlier, but had sat out after proving to be a better Wii basketball player than both of the actual basketball players in the room. Now he was sitting on Will’s bed, not really paying much attention until his boyfriend let out a happy shout.

“I won!” Will exclaimed, a huge smile on his face. Before Nico could react, his boyfriend turned around and jumped onto the bed with him, tackling him into a hug.

“Took you long enough,” Nico teased him as he struggled against the larger boy, trying not to get crushed.

Will leaned even closer. “It’s not my fault I happen to be dating a video game prodigy.”

“Hey, hands above the waist, you two,” Lavinia joked, getting up to take Will’s Wii remote. Nico immediately shoved Will off, and the rest of their friends all laughed at how fast his face turned a bright shade of red. Will, for his part, snuck his hand underneath one of his blankets and secretly reached for Nico’s own. Nico obliged him this hidden show of affection, rolling his eyes when Will wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

Nico had already decided that this little Thanksgiving party was absolutely not going to go the same way that his Halloween party had. Not that he even remembered it all that well, thanks to the alcohol he had consumed. But even if he had completely blacked out, his friends wouldn’t have allowed him to forget it that easily. Just thinking about the video Piper had recorded of his dad walking in on him and Will making out on the couch was enough to make him cringe.

He had gotten grounded afterwards for drinking his father’s wine without permission; that wasn’t even the worst thing to come of it, though. Because despite Will’s warnings, it turned out that Nico had managed to accidentally leave a hickey on his neck anyway, which Persephone had spotted when she got up to make them all breakfast the next morning. The resulting conversation with his father would go down in history as the most awkward half hour of Nico’s life. Suffering through his dad’s attempt at giving him the gay sex talk was almost enough to make him regret throwing the party in the first place.

He and Will hadn’t really talked about what happened that night. But any time they had spent alone together afterwards, Will was always careful to make sure things didn’t go too far. Nico was silently grateful for it. He knew he wasn’t ready to do anything that serious, and he preferred to leave his hesitance unspoken. Another conversation about it, especially one with his boyfriend, would be too much for his fragile sense of self-acceptance to handle.

Hazel called out to Will, catching his attention and rousing Nico from his thoughts. She offered Will her Wii controller, and Will stood up to play another round of the game. Before he went to do so, he leaned down close to Nico, grinning wickedly. “How about a kiss for good luck?”

Suddenly hyperaware of everyone’s eyes on them, Nico shoved Will away. “Nothing will be able to help you, Will, you’re just too bad.”

“Fine,” Will pouted. “Guess I’ll just have to get one from someone else, then.” And then he jokingly waved Lou Ellen over, and she planted a quick kiss on his cheek.

A wave of hot jealousy washed over Nico. He had to turn away.

It was stupid. It was his own fault that Will had sought a kiss from someone else, and he knew his boyfriend had only been joking around. But still…

Nico couldn’t help but notice how normal it had looked, when Lou Ellen had kissed Will on the cheek. That was how couples were supposed to look, a boy and a girl, just the way he had always seen as he was growing up, watching TV, or reading books. And whenever Nico kissed Will, he felt normal, too. But he knew how other people saw them. He knew what they looked like from the outside, from all the times he’d secretly typed ‘boys kissing’ into Google Images, only to close the tab a few minutes later out of embarrassment. Because no matter how much happiness those pictures made him feel, he still knew that it wasn’t normal.

He pulled out his phone and unlocked it, staring down at his home screen, a photo of Will kissing him on the cheek. Usually, it never failed to make him smile. But right now, he just felt kind of sick.

“Hey,” Hazel said as she sat down on the bed next to him, interrupting his thoughts. “Are you gonna play next round?”

Nico laughed weakly. “I don’t think Kayla could handle it if I beat her at Wii archery.” As he spoke, Hazel reached over and threaded their hands together. Nico’s lips curled into a tiny smile. “Are you having fun?”

“Yeah!” Hazel laid her head on Nico’s shoulder. “Lou was telling me all about the color of my aura.”

“Do you really think she can see that?” Nico asked.

The two of them chatted for a while, not about anything serious. Really, what Nico enjoyed the most was getting to be so close to her. Her hands were soft and her hair smelled nice, and Nico didn’t have any reason to feel guilty for liking it. Not like he had with Will.

Speaking of Will, he had just lost whatever game he had been playing. He let out an overdramatic cry of defeat, and Austin, who was sitting down on the floor, rolled his eyes affectionately. “Yo, Will, it’s pretty dark out, you wanna go ahead and get the bonfire started?”

Everyone excitedly agreed. Nico and Hazel got up and followed everyone to the kitchen, where they gathered up supplies for making s’mores. As they walked, Will dropped back next to Nico. Nico could feel the back of his boyfriend’s hand brush against his own, their fingertips ever so slightly touching. This had happened countless times before; Nico knew by now that it meant Will was asking permission to hold hands. Usually, Nico was happy to oblige him. But tonight, even this simple touch made Nico’s stomach curl. He pulled his hand closer to his side, staring straight ahead and ignoring the confused look Will shot his way.

When they got outside, Will and Kayla quickly got the bonfire going. Nico sat watching them, hugging his arms to his chest, trying to fight off the late November chill. Once the fire was burning bright, Will came to sit next to Nico, wrapping his arm around him and pulling him close. “Are you cold?”

“A little,” Nico mumbled, forcing himself to lean into his boyfriend’s warmth.

Will flashed him a gentle smile. “Want me to make you a s’more?”

Nico nodded, so Will got to work roasting two marshmallows. The rest of their friends roasted some for themselves, too. Kayla grinned maniacally as she watched hers burn to a blackened crisp, while Cecil and Lou Ellen engaged in a riveting sword fight with their marshmallow roasting sticks that ended with a marshmallow getting stuck in Lou’s hair.

Nico found that his mood was steadily improving as his boyfriend made him a s’more and handed it to him. He had a bit of a sweet tooth, and Will knew it. Will would frequently bring him little treats, which Nico liked to believe wasn’t just because Will was trying to get him to eat more. If that was his boyfriend’s plan, it was certainly working, though; in the almost three months they had been dating, Nico had gained several pounds, which he was quite happy about.

Will laughed as he watched how fast Nico devoured his s’more. Nico made sure to show his appreciation in the form of a little smile. When Will smiled back at him, his face was lit up by the golden firelight. His gaze flickered down to Nico’s lips.

“You’ve got a little marshmallow… There,” Will said, reaching over and swiping his thumb across Nico’s bottom lip. He stared down at his finger for a second, before shrugging and licking it clean.

Nico scrunched his nose up in disgust. “Oh, gross!”

“What? It’s nothing I haven’t kissed before,” Will teased him. Nico hid his face in his hands so his boyfriend couldn’t see how much he was blushing. He wished he could personally murder every single one of the butterflies that had taken up residence in his stomach.

Instead of becoming an insect exterminator, Nico busied himself with making another s’more, ignoring the pun Will made about him ‘wanting s’more.’ It was nice and peaceful, sitting around the fire with friends and leaning into Will for extra warmth.

But it only stayed that way for a few minutes, because after Nico finished his second s’more, Kayla spoke up. “Let’s play Truth or Dare!”

Now, Nico hadn’t had the greatest luck with party games in the past, but everyone else seemed into it, so he decided to just go along with what they wanted to do.

It started out harmless enough. Kayla dared Lou Ellen to talk in rhyming couplets for the next hour; Lou asked Austin who he had a crush on, and he answered that he honestly wasn’t interested in anyone at the time. Austin dared Will to do a handstand for as long as possible, and Will actually held it for about fifteen seconds, during which his shirt rode up and Nico was reminded once again that his boyfriend was unfairly hot.

Then Will dared Hazel to pick Nico’s nose, and all of Nico’s positive regard for his boyfriend instantly disappeared. Nico and Hazel were closer than most siblings, but they weren’t that close.

Afterwards, Hazel dared Lavinia to balance a marshmallow on her head for as long as possible, and then Lavinia dared Cecil to roast a marshmallow without using his hands, which went about as badly as everyone had expected it to.

Still holding his charred marshmallow roasting stick between his knees, Cecil turned to Nico. “Truth or dare?”

Nico thought for a moment. As nice as Will’s friends were, he didn’t really feel like fielding any invasive questions from them. “Dare,” he said.

“Dare you to fit as many marshmallows in your mouth as possible,” Cecil challenged him.

So Nico grabbed the bag of marshmallows and began to shove them into his mouth. By the fifth one, he was starting to struggle. “I have a small mouth,” he managed to get out, before he pushed a sixth one past his lips.

“Aw, poor Will,” Cecil joked, and once Nico realized exactly what he meant by that comment, he gasped suddenly and began to choke.

Panic set in as Nico struggled to breathe. He vaguely registered the sound of his friends shouting in alarm, the way that Will quickly jumped up and wrapped his arms around him from behind, compressing his abdomen until Nico coughed up the marshmallows into a sticky pile on the ground.

“Are you okay?” Hazel asked him, her hand on his shoulder. Nico nodded. He wished everyone weren’t staring at him, wished they weren’t crowding in so close.

Will was still hugging him tight. “Thanks a lot, Cecil! You almost killed my boyfriend!”

“It’s not his fault,” Nico protested weakly. “And I didn’t die.”

“But you could have!” Will exclaimed, burying his face in Nico’s hair.

Nico just rolled his eyes. “Great, now you’re going to be all worried about me the rest of the night.” Will’s friends laughed at that; they all knew it was true.

“Well, now that you’re not dying anymore, it’s your turn to give me a dare,” Kayla told him, looking so excited that it was kind of unnerving. “Make it something weird. I know you’ve got it in you.”

“Um…” Nico thought for a minute. It almost felt like a test; he didn’t want to disappoint Kayla. Finally, his gaze caught on something lying on the ground next to his shoe. He pointed at it. “Dare you to eat that leaf.”

Kayla picked it up and examined it. “Oh, sick, there’s a worm on it!” she exclaimed. And then, before anyone could stop her, she popped the leaf into her mouth, worm and all. Everyone cried out in horror and disgust. Nico just stared at Kayla, his mouth hanging open in shock as he watched her chew and swallow. Once she was finished, she started laughing maniacally. “You guys should see the looks on your faces!”

“That was disgusting!” Austin shouted. “Nobody told you to do that!”

The two of them went at it for a minute, Kayla arguing that Nico had in fact dared her to eat the leaf, and the worm was just part of the package. She finally ended the argument by cutting Austin off and turning to Lavinia. “Okay, this round, everyone has to pick the opposite of what they did last round. So, Lavinia, that means I get to ask… Are you still a virgin?”

“Depends on your definition,” Lavinia replied, breaking into a wicked grin.

Kayla gasped dramatically. “Wait, so does that mean that you—”

“Nico!” Lavinia cut her off, turning to face him. Nico shifted uncomfortably. He had already been a little freaked out at the prospect of Will’s friends asking him personal questions, and he didn’t like the turn this was taking. Lavinia looked like she was planning something, like she knew something he didn’t. “My question is… Is Will a good kisser?”

Nico felt his cheeks grow hot. Everyone was staring at him expectantly, even his boyfriend, who he would normally turn to for an easy way out. His voice small, he hugged his arms to his chest as he replied, “I mean… Yeah?”

Lavinia let out a snort of laughter. “Liar!” she exclaimed. “He’s a terrible kisser!”

“Have you ever considered that maybe I was only bad at it because I was kissing a lesbian?!” Will shot back at her, and Nico’s heart sank to the floor.

That’s right, he remembered. Lavinia was Will’s first kiss. Not me.

“Wait, wait, Nico,” Lavinia gasped, still laughing. “Is Will the only person you’ve ever kissed?”

Nico nodded shyly, and someone else exclaimed, “Aw, that’s adorable!”

“Well no wonder you think he’s good at it,” Lavinia said. “He’s got you totally fooled. Honestly, good on Will for pulling that off. I gotta give him credit.”

Next to Nico, Will groaned and buried his head in his hands, though Nico could tell he was laughing. He thought that would be the end of it, but then Cecil spoke up. “Wait, Will isn’t, like, the first guy you’ve ever had a crush on, right?”

Nico felt like time was slowing down. Everyone got quiet, and they were all looking at him, while he just stared at the ground. “No,” he finally said, his voice coming out softer than he intended.

“Oh my god, who was it?!” Kayla exclaimed.

“Was it Jason?” Lou Ellen guessed, apparently so intrigued that she had forgotten that she was supposed to be rhyming.

Nico’s stomach started to twist into a knot. He spared a glance at Hazel, who was clearly pretending not to be invested in the conversation. He would rather die than talk about this with her, much less with all of Will’s friends. But he didn’t see a way out. He was suffocating under the weight of everyone’s eyes on him, and it wasn’t like he could just run away.

“I’m sure that Nico’s crushes can’t have been any more embarrassing than mine,” Will said half-heartedly. He must’ve realized how uncomfortable Nico was, considering he had been silent for an awkwardly long amount of time. When he realized that his boyfriend was trying to derail the conversation for his sake, Nico let out a sigh of relief.

But his peace of mind didn’t last long, because a second later, Austin blurted out, “You guys, remember Paolo?!”

Everyone else burst into laughter, but Hazel just glanced at Will in confusion. “Who’s Paolo?”

“He was this Brazilian exchange student that Will had a crush on at the end of freshman year,” Kayla explained, looking way too amused by Will’s humiliation. “He barely spoke any English, and one day Will went up to him, and you wanna know what he said to Paolo?”

Will’s face turned a bright shade of red as Cecil exclaimed, “Hola, ¿cómo estás?”

“He spoke to him in the wrong language!” Lou cried, wiping tears out of her eyes.

“Guess Will just has a thing for foreign guys,” Lavinia joked.

“Okay, no, first of all, I didn’t know that Nico was Italian when I started crushing on him,” Will defended himself. “And I didn’t like Paolo because he was Brazilian; he just had nice arms, okay? And the Spanish thing was an honest mistake! I learned how to say it in Portuguese after that!”

“Yeah, but you never worked up the courage to actually talk to him again,” Austin pointed out. “And then he moved back to Brazil.”

Kayla swooned dramatically. “The one that got away!”

“That’s a gross exaggeration!” Will exclaimed.

“Yeah, we all know the real one that got away was Drew Tanaka,” Lou Ellen snickered.

Nico felt like he had been doused with cold water. “I didn’t know you liked Drew,” he murmured.

Though he had only been speaking to Will, Kayla butted in. “He didn’t just like her! He dated her!”

“Only for like, a week!” Will protested.

“Why did you two break up again?” Lavinia wondered aloud. “Did she turn gay after you kissed her?”

“Drew and I never kissed,” Will stated, his voice uncharacteristically flat, his shoulders uncharacteristically tense. “And I told you, she never even liked me. She was just doing that heartbreak hazing thing that she and all her friends do.”

“I don’t get why you even agreed to go out with her in the first place. She’s such an asshole,” Kayla commented.

“She’s not a bad person,” Will argued back. “She just has a lot going on. More than you know.”

“Leave it to Will to defend the girl who broke up with him,” Austin teased him.

“Please don’t tell me you’re gonna defend your crush on Connor Stoll next,” Lou Ellen complained.

Will rolled his eyes. “He was the only other queer guy I knew, it’s not like I had that many options—”

“Mitchell told me that Connor ended up getting taken to the police station over the weekend because he was caught shoplifting again,” Cecil interrupted him.

The group began to discuss the drama they had heard about their other classmates, their game of Truth or Dare long forgotten, but Nico couldn’t bring himself to pay any attention. His mind was still swimming with the remnants of the previous conversation. It had happened so fast that he was barely able to process it. Paolo. Drew. Connor. It had been naive of him, but he had never even really considered that Will had crushed on or dated people other than him. Which was stupid. Of course Will had plenty of opportunities for that kind of thing; he was good looking, and easy to get along with, and he had lots of friends. Really, Nico was lucky that Will had decided to pay him any attention at all. What did Will even see in him? It wasn’t like he brought much to the table. There wasn’t anything special about him.

Nico was pulled from his thoughts by the feeling of Will’s hand brushing up against his own, their fingers loosely intertwining. It wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. But Nico couldn’t stop himself from pulling away.

Will spared him a concerned glance. “Is everything alright?”

“I—” Nico’s voice caught in his throat. He didn’t even understand what he was feeling, much less how to voice it to someone else. Especially now, with all their friends surrounding them, laughing and chatting happily. “My hands are all sticky from the s’mores I ate earlier,” he said instead. “I’m going to go back inside and wash them off.”

“Okay,” Will replied, smiling softly.

As he got up and made his way towards Will’s house, Nico almost wished that he wasn’t such a good liar. Because maybe then Will would realize that something was wrong, and press him about it, and show Nico that he cared.

Because that was another thing. When Will talked about his past crushes and relationships, he had sounded so nonchalant about them. Like they didn’t even matter to him. Meanwhile, Nico could barely even talk about his awful crush on Percy without feeling like there was a hole in his chest.

Nico entered Will’s house through the back door and made his way to the kitchen. As he washed his hands in the kitchen sink, he stared out the window at his friends sitting around the bonfire. Will was in the middle of telling a story, and Nico could see the smile on his face from all the way inside the house. He was at the center of the group, not lingering on the edge the way that Nico always did, and his other friends were clearly hanging onto his every word.

It didn’t matter if Nico was there or not. Will was just as happy either way. Nico could break up with him, and Will would talk about him just as easily as he talked about Drew, or any of the other crushes that hadn’t worked out for him.

“He’s got you totally fooled. Good on Will for pulling that off,” Lavinia had said. Like Will had secretly convinced Nico to want to be with him, like Nico was somehow dependent on him because of his lack of experience. Was that all this was to Will? Was Will just dating him to have some fun, to pass the time?

Would Will even care if Nico disappeared? Or would he just move on to someone else?

sh*t, Nico thought to himself, clutching his head. How did I spiral so far over something so stupid? They were just joking around!

But that didn’t matter anymore. A weight had taken up residence in Nico’s stomach, his eyes prickled hot with unshed tears of frustration. There were ants crawling underneath his skin. He wanted to bang his head against a wall until he couldn’t think anymore. He knew it was irrational, but that just made him feel worse.

He couldn’t afford to feel this bad. Not at Will’s house, not when Will was expecting him to come back outside any minute now. Hell, he couldn’t afford to feel this bad even if he were alone. He had been making so much progress during his therapy sessions. Everyone was expecting him to be getting better. What was the point of it all, if he just slid right back into his old coping mechanisms every time he got upset?

He thought about the list of alternatives Mr. D had suggested to him. Wearing a rubber band. Drawing on himself. Holding an ice cube.

Nico walked over to the freezer and pulled an ice cube out of it. He stood over the sink as it melted in his hand. It didn’t help; he felt like an idiot. Slowly, he slid the piece of ice up underneath the sleeve of his hoodie. He scrunched his eyes shut, trying to ignore the way his body was screaming that it wasn’t enough, trying to convince himself that he wasn’t as worthless as he felt.

“Nico? What’re you doing in here, hon?” a voice spoke up behind him. Nico’s eyes flew open in surprise. He jumped back, and the ice cube he had been holding clattered into the sink, conspicuously loud.

“Hi, Ms. Naomi,” he breathed. His heart pounded in his chest; he felt like he had been caught doing something terribly wrong. “I— I was just washing my hands.”

Naomi gave him a warm smile, the same smile Nico saw on Will’s face all the time. “And I was just coming in here to do the dishes.”

“I can help,” Nico offered, gradually calming down.

“Wash, or dry?”

“Can I dry, please?” Nico asked. The prospect of rolling up his sleeves in front of Will’s mom was absolutely terrifying, and he hated himself for it.

“Sure, sweetheart,” Naomi easily agreed. The two of them worked in silence for a moment, before she asked, “How’s the party going?”

“It’s alright,” Nico replied. “I think I needed a bit of a break, though.”

“Will’s friends can be a lot sometimes,” Naomi agreed. “Especially Kayla. Darren used to have to keep her on a child leash when she was younger.” Nico found himself letting out a soft laugh at that, though his face quickly fell again. So quickly that Naomi noticed it. “Is everything okay, Nico?”

Nico wanted to kick himself. “It’s fine,” he assured her, gritting his teeth.

She just hummed, going silent again. After they had washed and dried a few plates, she spoke again, her voice filled with hesitance. “Nico? I know that your mom isn’t around anymore,” she started, and Nico nearly dropped the plate in his hand. “And I know that I can’t make up for that. But I want you to know that if you ever need any mom advice, or a mom hug, I’m here for you, okay? All you have to do is ask.”

Nico stared down at the plate he was holding, completely frozen. What was he supposed to do? Open up to his boyfriend’s mom about all of his inner feelings? He wouldn’t even know where to start.

How come no one ever cares about me as much as I care about them? Does Will even like me that much, or does he just want to date whoever agrees to it? How long will it take for him to get bored of me? What do I have to do to be irreplaceable to him?

Finally, he settled on asking, “How do you know if a relationship is meant to last?”

Naomi narrowed her eyes. “Has Will done something to make you think that it won’t? Cause I can give him a talking to—”

“No, no, it’s nothing like that!” he assured her. “I just— I’m asking more because of myself.”

“Should I be worried?” Naomi asked, though Nico could tell she was amused.

“I’m sorry, I don’t really know what I’m saying,” Nico babbled, well aware that he was making a fool of himself. “I just meant… Will’s really amazing, and I’ve never dated anyone before, and I don’t know what I’m doing, and I’m really scared of messing it up…”

Naomi gave him a thoughtful look. “Have you and Will gotten into any fights yet?”

“Not really…”

“Well, you will,” Naomi assured him. “All relationships have different stages. Right now, you’re in the honeymoon stage. Everything feels perfect. You might think you’ve found your soulmate. You might even think you’re in love with him.” Nico tried in vain to fight off the heat that was creeping across his face. “But then you’ll fight,” Naomi continued. “And you’ll realize love isn’t enough to keep a relationship going. The key to a good relationship is communication. Every couple has problems, and the only way to solve them is by talking to each other.”

“So if I want our relationship to last, I just have to talk to him?” Nico asked dumbly.

Naomi set her dishes down so she could focus on the conversation at hand. “Will tends to meet people where they are, when it comes to communication. He’s very open with me, because I’m open with him. I established that precedent. But with his father…” Naomi sighed. “Not so much.”

“Will’s dad kind of sucks, though,” Nico mumbled without thinking; when Naomi raised her eyebrows at him, he immediately began to backtrack. “I mean— That’s not what I meant, Will just says stuff all the time about—”

Will’s mom let out a sharp laugh. “Will’s gotten to you, hasn’t he?” When Nico just shrugged, she continued, “I’ll tell you a secret, Nico. Apollo pays the rent on my restaurant. And when we first moved back to California, he used to help me make rent on my house.”

Nico stared at her, dumbfounded. “And Will doesn’t know?”

Naomi shook her head. “Nope. I’ve tried to ease him into it, but he just hates the idea of us being dependent on his father. I think the two of them need to repair their relationship first, before I explain it to him.”

“But why would Apollo do that?” Nico asked. It went against everything Will had told him; that Apollo was a narcissistic asshole, a terrible father who was never around.

“It’s complicated,” Naomi told him. “When everyone found out he was seeing other people, Apollo stopped speaking to us for several years. But that doesn’t mean he stopped caring about us. He was just ashamed of himself, and he didn’t know how to fix things. Money was tight, and so I ended up deciding to move us back to Texas, to live with my parents.”

“It still sounds like it’s all Apollo’s fault, though,” Nico pointed out.

Naomi stared out the window, watching her son from a distance. “It was messy, Nico. Apollo and I, we both did things we regret.” Talking about this seemed to weigh her down. Nico hadn’t ever seen her look so melancholic. “I’m the one who tipped the media off about the whole situation. I was still trying to get into the music industry, and I thought I could use the attention to boost my own career.” She laughed bitterly. “And I got what I wanted. I was offered an album deal. But I also ended up with about twenty journalists and cameramen waiting outside for me every time I left my apartment. Every day, when I went to pick Will up from school, they would harass us, shouting out all kinds of invasive questions. And by the time we got inside, Will would be shaking like a leaf, and he wouldn’t be able to breathe.”

“Panic attacks?”

“He was only seven,” Naomi lamented. “No child should ever have to suffer through that. So I gave up the album deal, moved back in with my parents, got a job as a waitress, and Will’s anxiety went away. For a while, at least. I had to make that sacrifice so that he could have a normal childhood. Because when you’re a parent, that’s just what you do.”

Hearing her talk about how much she cared about Will, Nico couldn’t help but wonder if his own mother had ever felt that way about him. He figured that she must have; he had probably been too little to really appreciate it.

“Eventually, Apollo and I made up,” Naomi continued, “and he helped me and Will move back to California. I think Apollo thought that everything would go back to normal, but Will— Well, Will was already going through a hard time, not anything to do with his father, and he just didn’t have it in him to forgive him yet. It doesn’t help that Apollo’s so busy all the time. So it’s not perfect, but it’s better than staying in Texas.” She winced. “I can’t even imagine how things would’ve turned out for Will if we’d stayed there.”

“What’s wrong with Texas?”

Naomi laughed, but it sounded kind of sad. “I always forget that you didn’t grow up in the States.” She reached over and patted him on the shoulder; surprisingly, Nico found that he didn’t really mind it. “How much do you know about Texan culture?”

“Um… There are lots of cowboys,” Nico said. “And Will likes a football team whose mascot is a cow… The Bighorns, or something?”

“The Longhorns,” Naomi corrected him, her eyes glittering with amusem*nt. But as she continued to talk, her face fell. “When we lived in Austin, I was working all the time, trying to save up some money. My parents were the ones who stayed at home with Will, usually… And let’s just say that they have some pretty strong political views, which I don’t agree with. I put up with it for as long as I could, but eventually Will got to the age where he started picking some of it up… Honestly, that’s probably one of the reasons he ended up resenting his father so much. My parents despise Apollo.” She shook her head, then gave Nico a soft smile. “Trust me, it’s much better for everyone that the two of us moved back here, where Will can be himself without having to worry about my family’s conservative bullsh*t.”

Nico’s face flushed; he tried to ignore how casually Will’s mom had used that kind of language with him. He also couldn’t really make sense of why it felt like her words were something personal, something he should find important, so he just asked, “And you don’t resent Apollo? Even though he cheated on you?”

She laughed at that, bright and clear. “To be honest, him seeing other people wasn’t the dealbreaker for me. It was the fact that he lied to me about it. But god knows, I’ve never been too keen on monogamy, either. Me and Apollo, Darren and Latricia, we’ve worked things out amongst ourselves now.”

“But… And I’m sorry if this is too personal, I just— I was wondering… Are you in love with him?” Nico asked, in place of the other burning questions that were on the tip of his tongue.

How do I know if I’m in love with someone? How do I know if Will is in love with me?

Naomi thought for a moment. “I would say… I think there’s a difference between loving someone and being in love with someone. And Apollo and I have been a part of each other’s lives for so long… We’ve been through a lot together, and I do enjoy spending time with him… But I wouldn’t say that we’re in love.”

“I still don’t think I understand the difference,” Nico mumbled.

“Loving someone… It’s like a deep admiration. You overlook the person’s flaws because they make you feel good. And it’s personal; you can still love someone even if they don’t love you back.” When she said this, Nico couldn’t help but be reminded of his feelings for Percy. “But being in love is a two person effort. You lift each other up and accept each other for who you are. And you trust each other completely, and know that you’ll support each other through both the good times and the bad times.” She smiled at Nico fondly. “But don’t just take my word for it! Love is different for everyone; you’ve gotta figure it out for yourself.”

“Okay,” Nico replied, blushing a little.

Naomi looked down into the empty sink. “Well, looks like that’s all of ‘em. Thanks for your help, sweetie. I’ll let you get back to your friends now.” When Nico didn’t move, Naomi spoke again. “And you know… I do recall offering you a hug, if that’s something you’d like…”

Nico hesitated for a second. He hardly ever touched people he wasn’t close to, much less hugged them. But Will’s mom had been so nice to him, and he had already been feeling unbalanced, so before he could second guess himself, he surged forward and wrapped his arms around her.

It really did remind him of hugging his mom. And for a second, he felt like he was floating.

But then it all came crashing down. Because Naomi Solace wasn’t his mom. She was Will’s, and all of this comfort and acceptance would be ripped away from Nico as soon as Will got tired of him, as soon as Will realized that Nico was only dragging him down. Nico wasn’t a part of Will’s family, and he never would be. He was only setting himself up for heartbreak by getting attached.

So before Naomi let go of him, Nico pulled away. He mumbled a quick thank you before rushing out of the kitchen and onto the back porch.

He sat down on the porch steps and gazed out at the bonfire, listening to the sound of Will’s laughter. Everything hit him all at once, like a rush of blood to his head.

“Being in love is a two person effort. You lift each other up and accept each other for who you are.”

Will made him feel amazing. Happier than he had felt in years, like literal sunshine flowing through his veins. How could Nico ever make Will feel the same? On a good day, he was moody and quiet. And on a bad day… Well, he hadn’t actually had any particularly bad days, since he started dating Will.

The realization was like a slap in the face. Nico had assumed that his mental health had been improving because he had started going to therapy. But what if that wasn’t true? What if the only reason he had been doing so well was because Will was there to boost his self-esteem, to make him feel like he was worth something?

Tonight was proof enough that Nico’s mood depended on his boyfriend. A stupid party game and a couple of jokes were all it took to send Nico spiraling hard. And yet Nico’s absence hadn’t changed a thing for Will. Nico didn’t have nearly the same amount of power over his boyfriend, and the thought filled him with rage.

Does he even care about me at all?!

None of his progress was his own. Will was the only reason he felt consistently happy; if Will left him, all of that would go away in a heartbeat. To Will, their relationship was something casual, something they were just doing for fun. But to Nico, this relationship was something he needed. He had accidentally given Will control over the state of his mental health, and Will didn’t even know it. If Will left, Nico would be devastated. All of his progress would be erased, and Will would be completely fine.

Nico knew he had to find a way to make Will stay. He had to be perfect for Will, the way that Will was perfect for him, and maybe then he would stand a chance at convincing Will to stay with him forever. He thought about Will’s other crushes, thought about what Will had liked about them. Nico wasn’t as cool as Connor, wasn’t as pretty as Drew. And compared to Paolo’s, Nico’s arms looked like a goddamn crime scene.

It was inevitable. Will leaving him was inevitable. Nico had no power to stop it. The only way he could gain back any control was by leaving Will first.

“Hey, Nico!”

Will’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts. He hadn’t even noticed his boyfriend approach; now Will was moving to sit down next to him on the porch steps.

“Where’ve you been?” Will asked.

If he really cared that I was gone, he would’ve come looking for me.

“I was helping your mom with the dishes.”

Will frowned. “She didn’t make you do that, right?”

“No, no, I volunteered,” Nico assured him.

“Alright,” Will said, flashing Nico the warm, kind smile that never failed to fill his stomach with butterflies. Nico really, really hated the way he couldn’t control how he reacted to it.

I don’t make him feel this way when I smile at him.

Will continued to speak. “So are you gonna come back to the bonfire now?”

Nico just shrugged.

“Is something wrong?” Will asked, genuinely concerned. “You can talk to me, you know.”

For a second, Nico almost considered saying yes. He remembered what Will’s mom had said, that relationships were built on communication, that he had to set a precedent with Will. There were so many things he could’ve said right then.

Do I make you happy? What do you like about me? Why are you dating me? Are you in love with me?

But now wasn’t a good time to talk about something so intense. Will was just trying to have a good time with his friends tonight, and Nico was ruining it, the way he always ruined everything.

“Nothing’s wrong,” he mumbled. But the look in Will’s eyes told him that Will didn’t believe him. “I just— I don’t feel well right now, that’s all.”

“Oh… I’m sorry,” Will told him, reaching over and taking his hand. “Is there anything I can do to help? We could sit inside together for a while—”

“No,” Nico interrupted him. He pulled his hand back into his lap. “I think I’m just going to call my dad and ask him to pick me and Hazel up early. I don’t— I don’t want to take you away from your friends. You should go back out there, it looked like you were having a good time.”

“Are you sure?” Will asked, still seeming worried.

Nico forced a weak smile. “Yeah.”

“Um… Okay, then,” Will finally relented. “You’ll tell me goodbye before you leave, right?”

Nico nodded absently.

If he really cared about me, he would’ve insisted that I stay.

Too caught up in his own head, Nico didn’t process what was happening as Will leaned closer, angling his head down. He was moving to kiss Nico goodbye. And as soon as he realized what Will was doing, Nico couldn’t stop himself from sharply jerking away.

“Nico?” Will asked, his voice strained. He sounded really, genuinely hurt. “Do you… Do you not want to kiss me?”

Nico’s heart pounded. He felt like he couldn’t breathe. His eyes searched Will’s, looking for a way out, but all he saw in them was pain. Pain that he had caused.

And for a second, he felt good about it. Because it was proof that he held at least a tiny bit of power over Will, that Nico wasn’t the only one who was capable of being hurt in their relationship.

Then he realized just how insane he was acting, and he started to feel sick.

“I, um…” Nico swallowed hard, trying to think up any excuse for his behavior. “I threw up in the bathroom a couple minutes ago,” he lied. “And I didn’t brush my teeth or anything, so it would probably be pretty gross if I kissed you…”

“Oh,” Will breathed. “Oh my gosh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know… Are you okay? What do you think caused it?”

“I ate too many sweets, I think,” Nico murmured, staring down at his shoes. He couldn’t stand how easily Will believed him, how much Will trusted that he was telling the truth.

“The s’mores?” Will asked sympathetically.

“And the beignets from earlier, and the baklava that Cecil brought…”

“Here, I’ll grab you a toothbrush, I’m sure we have some extra ones somewhere.” With that, Will stood up, then reached down to help Nico to his feet.

Nico followed his boyfriend through his house, trailing behind him as he searched around through a storage closet and the bathroom cupboards until he found an unused toothbrush and pressed it into Nico’s hand.

Nico thanked him, but before he could turn away, Will pulled him into a hug. “I’m really sorry you’re not feeling well.”

“It’s not your fault,” Nico replied, just standing there, totally stiff.

“I know, but… I just wanted you to have a good time tonight, y’know?” Will whispered into his hair.

“Sorry,” Nico whispered back, quiet enough that he was sure Will wouldn’t be able to hear him.

“Hm?”

“I said I’ll be fine,” Nico told him. Once again, he wished he weren’t such a good liar. “You should go back and hang out with your friends.”

“Okay,” Will reluctantly agreed. “You’ll tell me if you need anything though?”

Nico just nodded. Will hesitated in the doorway, looking like he wanted to step closer again, maybe to give Nico another hug, or a kiss on the forehead goodbye. But finally, he seemed to think better of it.

“See you,” Nico prompted him.

“Yeah, um… Bye.”

And then Will was gone, and Nico was alone.

He stared down at the toothbrush Will had given him and cursed his boyfriend for being so endearing. How was Nico supposed to detach himself from Will if he wouldn’t stop acting so nice? It would be easier to hate him, the way that he used to hate Percy. But he couldn’t find a reason to. Will was just too good to him, and Nico definitely didn’t deserve it.

He was being selfish, by wanting Will to stay with him when he knew Will could do better. But how could he possibly let Will go, now that he had experienced a tiny taste of happiness, now that he knew that Will could give it to him? If he broke up with Will, he would never get to feel that way again. How could he have even considered it?

But then again, what was the alternative? Waiting around for Will to break up with him? Would it be worth it to be so vulnerable, to give Will the power to make him completely miserable, just so he could cling to the fleeting moments of euphoria he felt whenever Will gave him his attention?

Alone in the bathroom, Nico covered his face with his hands to muffle a scream of frustration. Because he realized that it didn’t matter. Whatever he did, he would end up getting hurt. He had fallen way too fast, way too hard, but he wasn’t good enough to make Will feel the same way. He was a total idiot for ever believing that he deserved to be in a relationship with someone so amazing. The past few months, all the time they had spent together; everything had been a huge mistake.

And now, Will Solace was going to be the death of him.

Chapter 5

Chapter Text

Will glanced at the calendar on his nightstand. December 19, 2019. Tonight— or, technically, tomorrow morning— was the day Will had been looking forward to for months now. It was the premiere of The Rise of Skywalker, the final installment of the sequel trilogy, and Will had two tickets for the midnight showing.

Nico would get here any minute now. It would be the last time the two of them saw each other for a while, since Will and his mom were flying to Texas to spend Christmas with his grandparents. So Will wanted to have a good time with his boyfriend that night, especially since lately, Nico had been acting… off. He was distant and easily irritable, and it was a lot harder for Will to make him smile.

It wasn’t all the time. There were good days and bad days. But it seemed like the bad days had only been increasing. Yesterday, Nico hadn’t even come to school. He hadn’t told Will the reason why, and when Will had texted him about it, Nico had just ignored him. At that point, Will had learned not to press Nico about things he didn’t want to talk about. He couldn’t help but feel like he had been left in the dark, though.

But that was yesterday. Today was a new day, and Will was determined to make it a good one. So when he heard the sound of someone knocking on his front door, he plastered a smile on his face and ran to answer it.

“Hey,” he greeted his boyfriend, waving goodbye to Hazel, who had dropped Nico off. The day before yesterday had been her sixteenth birthday, so she could drive him places now.

“Hey,” Nico said. “What’s with the sports car?”

Will groaned. So much for his good mood. “It’s a Christmas present from my dad,” he explained, glaring at the bright yellow Chevy Corvette parked in the driveway. “Guess he wanted to make up for all those years of not getting me anything.”

“You don’t seem happy about it,” Nico observed.

Will ran a hand through his hair. “I mean, it’s nice… But I didn’t ask for it, and it’s probably worth, like, a couple years of my college tuition, at least… I just wish he would’ve given me something I actually need, y’know? He’s totally out of touch.”

“I don’t know, Will… Maybe you should just talk to him about it,” Nico suggested. His expression was unreadable.

Because trying to talk through our problems has been working great for us so far, Will thought to himself, though he wasn’t sure if the sentiment was directed at his dad, or Nico, or both.

He shrugged noncommittally and gestured for Nico to come inside. “Maybe when I get back from Austin. I don’t feel like thinking about it right now, though.”

Nico knelt down to untie his boots. He had to place something on the floor in order to free his hands; a rather large box, wrapped in festive paper, which he had been holding behind his back. When Will glanced down at it, Nico explained, “I got you a Christmas present.”

“Oh, I got you something, too. It’s in my room.” As the two of them walked in that direction, Will winked at Nico, trying to fluster him. “And my mom’s at work, by the way, so we’ve got the house to ourselves.”

All he managed to get from Nico was a halfhearted smirk. “Cool.”

Will picked up a small package he had left sitting on his nightstand. He handed it to Nico and prompted him to open it. “I know it’s not much,” he said as Nico looked down at the set of magnetic earrings in his hands. “But I thought you might like them.”

Nico’s bright, genuine smile was like a ray of sunlight breaking through the December clouds. “I do. Thank you.”

“And I got you something else, too,” Will told him, handing him another wrapped package, which Nico promptly opened. “I almost forgot about it, but I’m really glad that I didn’t.”

“Is this…” Nico’s eyes widened in horror. “Are you serious?!”

“Don’t worry!” Will assured him. “I got a stormtrooper costume for myself, so we’ll both be dressed up! And there won’t be any implications of incest at all!”

Nico dropped the Kylo Ren costume into his lap and covered his face with his hands. “I can’t believe you actually… Oh my god.”

“It’s okay, you don’t need to say it,” Will teased him, dropping down onto the bed next to him and resting his head on Nico’s shoulder. “I know I’m the best boyfriend ever.”

“This is going to be the most humiliating night of my life.”

“And the most entertaining night of mine!”

“Just open your present already,” Nico grumbled, shoving the box into his hands.

After a few more moments of teasing, Will finally gave in and tore the wrapping paper off of the present. When he saw what it was, his jaw dropped. “Holy sh*t…”

It was a LEGO set, the Death Star II. Will had wanted one since he was a kid; this was probably the best gift anyone had ever given him. But besides the car from his father, which he intended to try to return to him, it was also probably the most expensive. He knew that a used set like this could cost upwards of a thousand dollars; if it was new, it would’ve cost even more.

“Is this real?” Will asked, because he almost couldn’t believe it. His boyfriend just nodded. “Nico, I— I don’t even know what to say…”

Nico was watching him expectantly. “Do you like it?”

“God, yes,” Will blurted out. He couldn’t help but hug the box a bit closer to his chest. “Of course I like it, I just…”

“You just what?”

Will stared down at the LEGO set forlornly. “I don’t know how I can accept this. I mean, it must’ve cost you a fortune.”

“It wasn’t a big deal,” Nico said, tense with discomfort.

“But you don’t even have a job or anything… How were you able to afford this?”

“Don’t worry about it,” Nico shut him down.

Will bit his tongue in frustration. He didn’t understand why Nico was being so cagey about this, why he wouldn’t just explain where he had gotten so much money. And now he felt bad for not getting Nico something nicer; but they had only been dating for four months, so wasn’t it a little early to just drop a grand or two on a Christmas present for his boyfriend? Not that he even had enough money to do that if he wanted to.

“Well, thank you,” Will said, giving in. He didn’t want this to accidentally escalate into an argument. “I really do like it a lot.”

Nico pulled his knees up to his chest. He was silent for a moment, before he finally mumbled, “Sorry.”

“What? Why are you apologizing?”

“Because I kind of feel like an asshole now,” Nico blurted out.

“Please don’t feel bad,” Will tried to tell him. “It’s a really nice gift—”

“I’m acting just like your dad!”

“That’s not true!” Will exclaimed. “My dad— I didn’t ask for that car! I didn’t even want a new one! But you— you knew that I wanted this LEGO set, and I really appreciate you getting it for me, I just can’t—”

I can’t accept it without feeling incredibly guilty, Will thought to himself, but he was sure Nico knew that by now, and he didn’t want to make his boyfriend feel worse by voicing it aloud.

Will took a deep breath. He reached for Nico’s hands, holding them gently to steady himself. “Thank you so much for getting this for me. I’ve wanted one for a really long time, and it means a lot to me that you remembered.”

Nico stared back at him. His eyes looked dull, drained, lifeless. “I’m going to go change into the costume you gave me.”

And just like that, Nico was getting up and leaving. It was only a few moments before Will heard the sound of his bathroom door closing shut.

Running his hands through his hair and down his face, Will let out a groan. He fell over backwards onto his bed. Once again, he was left feeling like he had made some critical mistake that he couldn’t even pinpoint.

He wasted a minute or two lying in bed, wallowing in his frustration, until he realized that he should probably put on his outfit, too. He stripped down to his boxers and then stepped into the black bodysuit that went underneath the costume. The zipper ran up the back, and he couldn’t quite reach it, so he busied himself with strapping the white plastic armor to his shins and thighs while he waited for Nico to get back.

When he heard the sound of footsteps approaching, he glanced up. “Hey, can you help me zip up my costume?”

Nico mumbled something that sounded like agreement, so Will turned around to give him access to the zipper. He shivered a little, feeling Nico’s hands so close to his skin.

He turned back around to find Nico’s face flushed, like he was just as flustered by their proximity to each other as Will was. Will’s cheeks only grew hotter as he took in Nico’s new outfit. He couldn’t help it; both his boyfriend and Kylo Ren were quite attractive, and combined into one, it just about broke Will’s brain.

“Looks like your costume fits okay,” Will said, instead of blurting out something stupid, like ‘f*ck, you look hot,’ which would probably just make Nico uncomfortable. “How does it feel?”

“The sleeves are kind of itchy,” Nico complained, mindlessly rolling them up to his elbows. The movement caught Will’s attention; he glanced down at Nico’s arms, and then his heart stopped.

There were four red lines marring the pale skin of Nico’s right wrist. They weren’t bleeding, so they weren’t fresh, but they couldn’t have been more than a day or two old. Looking at them, Will suddenly felt like he was going to be sick.

“Nico…” Will started, trying to keep his voice level. “What— What happened to your arm?”

Nico stiffened. A look of panic flashed across his face. He immediately pulled his arm behind his back, so that Will couldn’t see it anymore. “Nothing.”

Will tried to take a deep breath. “That didn’t look like nothing—”

“My cat scratched me,” Nico blurted out. “That’s all.”

It would’ve been better to just drop it. Will already knew what he had seen; his questions were just a formality. But Nico’s words sent a rush of anger flowing through him. “So you’re just going to lie to me like that?”

“I’m— I’m not lying!”

“Then show me your arm,” Will demanded.

“What? No!”

Without thinking, Will lunged forward and grabbed Nico’s hand, pulling his arm out from behind his back. Now that he had the chance to look at it longer, he noticed that besides the unmistakable cuts, the skin of Nico’s wrist was irritated and raw. Will’s eyes trailed down to the rubber band his boyfriend was wearing like a bracelet. “Did you— Were you snapping this against your arm in the bathroom just now?”

Nico laughed harshly. “Well, it’s not like you left any razor blades lying around for my convenience.”

“This isn’t a joke, Nico!” Will burst out, his voice strained. “You could seriously hurt yourself! Or— Or worse—”

“You don’t have a clue what you’re talking about.” Nico leveled his gaze with Will’s, cold and unflinching. “Now let go of me.”

“No,” Will stubbornly declared.

“What the—” Nico yanked his arm back, trying to escape from Will’s grip, but Will held steadfast. “Let go!”

“Not until you tell me what’s been going on,” Will insisted.

“Don’t touch me!” Nico cried, his eyes widening with panic. He tried once again to rip his arm away, but his attempt was in vain. “Get off, Will!”

Will stared him down. “I won’t let go until you—”

“I don’t want to talk about it!” Nico practically screamed as he tried to twist away. He brought his other hand up and began to claw at Will’s fingers, trying to pry him off. “Just— Just stop! Stop touching me, Will, please!”

Will gasped in pain and finally let go, pulling back to cradle his hand to his chest. Across from him, Nico yanked his sleeves down. He was breathing hard, and his eyes blazed with rage, like a cornered wild animal. The two boys stared at each other in silence for an unbearably long amount of time.

“What the f*ck is wrong with you?!” Nico finally burst out.

Will couldn’t help but flinch. “I— I’m sorry—”

“I told you to stop!”

“I know, and I’m really sorry, I just—” Will’s voice cracked. “Why won’t you tell me what’s wrong?”

“I already said that I don’t want to talk about it,” Nico hissed.

“But I want to talk about it!” Will exclaimed, balling his hands into fists. “Why doesn’t that matter? Why don’t my feelings about it matter?”

“Because it doesn’t have anything to do with you!”

Will wanted to scream in exasperation. “God forbid I don’t want my boyfriend to kill himself or something—”

“I was being careful!” Nico protested. “I won’t— I’m not going to—”

“You call that ‘being careful’?” Will shouted, unable to believe what Nico was saying. “You literally—”

“I know what I’m doing! It’s not like I haven’t done it before, you know!” Nico shot back. His words felt like a slap in the face. He lifted his sleeve and gestured to his other scars, as if using them to make his point. “This— This is normal for me! You don’t f*cking understand!”

“Then help me understand!” Will begged him. “Talk to me about it! You weren’t doing it for a while, so why did you start again now? Please, I just want to help—”

“I’m seeing three different therapists, plus Mr. D,” Nico interrupted him, hugging his arms to his chest. “And none of them have been able to fix me. Do you know how f*cking exhausted I am?! I’m sick and tired of talking to people about my problems!”

“But I’m your—”

“I know that I’m f*cked up!” Nico continued. “I don’t need you reminding me all the time, too! And even if I did tell you about it, what makes you think you’d be able to help me? You don’t have any idea what you’re talking about!”

“You’ve confided in me about stuff before,” Will reminded him. Faintly, he registered a feeling of tightness blooming in his chest. “Like at your Halloween party, when you told me about your PTSD—”

“I was drunk, Will!”

“Or the night we first kissed,” Will continued, swaying a little from lightheadedness. “You told me about Percy, about your sister—”

“That was because I had just had a flashback after I ran into the road and almost got hit by a car!” Nico shouted. “I wasn’t in a stable state of mind!”

Will felt like the breath had been knocked out of him as he processed what Nico had said. “You— You what?”

His voice had been no more than a whisper; Nico continued on as if he hadn’t even heard him. “And you know what? I think it would’ve been better if I had gotten hit that night, because then I wouldn’t be here to bother you! And you wouldn’t have to deal with me and my stupid f*cking issues!”

“Nico, stop,” Will gasped, horrified.

“Or, even better, I should’ve just died instead of Bianca!” Nico declared. His words carried a ruthless edge, stabbing Will’s heart like a knife. “Because that way, you never would’ve even met me! And you can’t miss someone who you never knew in the first place!”

The pain in Will’s chest was now equal parts metaphorical and physical. “Nico, please, I can’t—”

“And y’know, on that note, it probably would’ve been better for everyone if I hadn’t even been f*cking born!”

Nico finally stopped to catch his breath; the room went silent. It took him a second to notice the way that Will’s face had crumpled, the tears that were streaming down his cheeks. But when he did, he took a step backwards in shock.

“Will,” he breathed. “Will, hey, what’s going on?”

But Will could barely hear him. The blurry outline of his boyfriend was swimming in his vision, so he scrunched his eyes closed. His heart pounded out of control. As he struggled to breathe, his chest felt like it was going to collapse in on itself.

“sh*t,” Nico cursed under his breath. “Are you— Are you having a panic attack or something?”

Will thought he might just die. He couldn’t believe this was happening. Nico was the one who needed support right now; Nico’s problems were more important than Will’s stupid anxiety disorder, but Will was too far gone to stop it. Trying to fight down his panic, trying to get himself back under control, it only made everything worse.

“Hey, listen to me.” Nico stepped close to him again, speaking softly. “Take a deep breath, Will. Breathe with me.”

Right now, having Nico trying to comfort him was more than he could bear. Will buried his face in his hands, shaking his head as he stifled a sob.

But Nico just reached forward to pry them away. Will was forced to look back at him, to witness how his earlier rage had so quickly morphed into concern and fear. “Where do you keep your meds? Tell me where they are.”

It was all too much. Will couldn’t stand to listen to Nico, to be close to Nico; the hands clutching his own were just a reminder that he was a failure of a boyfriend. He should’ve been comforting Nico, not the other way around. He tried to speak, tried to tell Nico to let go, but all that came out of his mouth was another sob. So he tore his gaze away and did the only thing he could think of: he turned tail and ran away, locking himself in the bathroom.

“Will!” Nico shouted after him, but Will didn’t pay him any mind. He was too busy rummaging through the medicine cabinet, trying not to fall over from how lightheaded he was as he struggled with the lid of a little orange bottle. Moments later, he broke one of his pills in two and popped part of it into his mouth, just in time for his legs to give out.

He clutched his head in his hands as he curled in on himself, leaning against the bathroom door for support. His breathing came in short, painful gasps. Terrible images wouldn’t stop flashing through his mind: Nico lying dead in the middle of the road, Nico bleeding out on his bathroom floor. His boyfriend’s words kept playing on loop, horrible sentiments and feelings that Will had no idea Nico had been harboring.

He could’ve died he almost died he wants to die he’s going to die—

“Will?” Nico’s voice sounded through the door, quiet and tentative, and just hearing him speak his name was enough to force a sob from Will’s mouth. “I— I’m so sorry… Please, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—”

“G-Go away, Nico,” Will choked out.

It was silent for a moment. There was some shuffling on the other side of the door, and then Nico’s voice again, right by Will’s ear, like he was sitting down the same way that Will was. “I really didn’t mean all those things I said, I swear… I just got carried away, I— I didn’t know you would get this upset.”

All Will could do in response was attempt to stifle another sob.

“Please, open the door,” Nico begged him. “Let me help you.”

Will managed to take a deep breath. He tried to assure himself that Nico was okay, at least in the present moment.

“Look, I’m— I’m really sorry.” Nico sounded miserable. “This is all my fault. I’m a terrible—” For a second, he struggled. Will actually thought he might say it: the b-word, the thing Nico still hadn’t managed to call him after almost four months of dating. But then he finished, “I’m a terrible partner.”

Will let out a heavy sigh. At that point, his sobs had turned to sniffles. The ache in his chest was starting to subside. But Nico wouldn’t stop talking, which made it hard for Will to take his mind off their argument in order to pull himself together.

“I’m ruining everything,” Nico lamented. “Will, maybe— maybe we should just break up. You’d be better off without me...”

Hearing those words sent a shock through Will’s body. He had never even considered breaking up to be an option; it simply wasn’t on the table, until now. Once again, he was completely caught off guard by Nico’s actions. In the past month of strange behavior, he had never let on that he was thinking about breaking up.

Will had tried his best to be a good boyfriend. He and Nico hadn’t had any major fights before now; maybe it was arrogant, but Will was fairly certain that Nico enjoyed being in a relationship with him. But the things he had said, about how Will would be better off without him… It all clicked into place. Nico’s problem wasn’t with Will; it was with himself. And realizing just how low Nico’s self-esteem was caused something inside of Will to snap.

He shot to his feet and pulled open the bathroom door, barely giving Nico enough time to reel back in shock. “What the hell are you talking about?!”

Nico stared up at him, eyes wide, like he hadn’t expected to be called out for his words. “Will, I…”

“If you’re trying to break up with me, then fine! I won’t stop you!” Will shouted. “But I don’t believe for a second that you’re doing this for any other reason, besides the fact that you don’t think you deserve to be cared about, and supported, and— and to be in a healthy relationship!”

“That’s not— I don’t—”

“You deserve to be happy, Nico!” Will insisted, his voice wavering. “And if breaking up with me is what will make you happy, then— then I’ll find a way to accept that. But I’m not gonna believe you unless you can look me in the eyes and tell me that it’s what you want!”

It was probably the tensest twenty seconds of Will’s life as he waited for Nico’s reply, suddenly second-guessing everything he had just said. Nico stared up at him, his gaze locked with Will’s, but all of the fight, all of the anger was gone from his expression. He just looked defeated, and sad, and scared.

Finally, he broke away and fixed his eyes on the floor. “It doesn’t matter what I want.”

Will’s first reaction was rage. How could Nico say something like that about himself? But then he took a deep breath and gave his boyfriend’s words some thought. Nico hadn’t said that he wanted to break up; this was progress. Will could work with this.

He took a second to wipe his eyes on the sleeve of his costume, then sat down next to Nico, leaning his back against the wall. “Let’s talk about this,” he suggested gently. “You’ve been acting off for like, a month now. What’s wrong? Why have you started hurting yourself again?”

But Nico just scoffed at him. “Hypocrite.”

“I— What?”

“You make such a big deal about me not taking care of myself, but you literally just had a panic attack and you’re already back to worrying about me.” Nico reached over and held one of Will’s hands for a moment. “Your hands are still shaking, Will.” He glanced up through his lashes, eyes filled with genuine concern. “Are you okay?”

Will smiled weakly. “Yeah, I’m— I’m getting there.”

“I’m sorry.” Nico furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. “But I just… I don’t understand why you got so upset.”

“It’s just my anxiety acting up,” Will told him.

“I mean, I know that, but did I say something in particular that triggered it?”

Will stared straight ahead. “Um… I guess I just get really freaked out when I think about the possibility of you dying. Like, that thing you said, about how you almost got hit by a car…”

“But I’m safe now, Will,” Nico insisted. “You have nothing to worry about.”

“I know that it’s irrational, but I just… I…”

Will swallowed thickly. He always avoided delving too deeply into the root of this trigger, not only with Nico, but with pretty much everyone. It hurt to think about, let alone talk about. But right now, he realized that if he wanted to give Nico an honest explanation for his behavior, he would have to tell him the full, painful truth. He couldn’t avoid it any longer.

“Look, Nico… I— I’ve lost people,” he began. “And— And after it happened, I couldn’t stop myself from thinking… What if I could’ve done something to stop it? If I had just paid more attention… If I had just been more careful… I don’t know how, but maybe— maybe I could’ve saved them. If I had just… I don’t know. I know that it’s stupid. But now… Now, whenever I think about how that might happen to someone else that I— that I care about, I get paranoid. I spiral.”

Nico’s face went slack with shock. “Will… What are you talking about? What happened?”

Will didn’t want to discuss this in detail. Even now, it felt like a lead weight was settling in the pit of his stomach. But he forced himself to speak. “Back when I lived in Austin… Do you remember the picture my mom showed you? Of me getting ice cream with my friends?” Nico nodded. “That was Lee and Michael. Lee… I really looked up to him. He was like a big brother to me. And he— And his funeral was the first funeral I ever attended. He was the first dead person I ever saw.”

Blinking back tears, Will tilted his head back to stare at the ceiling and took a deep breath. “They didn’t even find Michael’s body. He— He drowned, a year later. And for weeks afterwards, I thought— I was convinced that he wasn’t actually dead. That he was going to come back. It was like… one day he was here, and the next day he was just… gone.” Will wiped his eyes with his sleeve. “And then I moved away, and I just— I just tried to pretend like none of it ever happened, I guess.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Nico whispered. Beneath his sympathy, Will also picked up on a distinct sense of hollowness and betrayal in Nico’s voice.

“Because I don’t like to talk about it. With anyone, not just you,” Will told him. “Most of the time, I don’t even think about it. It’s easier not to. It— It hurts less.” He let out a heavy sigh. “But also… With you, specifically, I feel like— Well, it’s just… I know you have it worse than me. Lee and Michael, they weren’t— they weren’t my actual family. And I guess I kinda just feel like it wouldn’t be fair of me to act like— to act like I have any idea what you’re going through, with your mom and your sister—”

“It’s not a competition, Will,” Nico interrupted fiercely. “You’re allowed to experience your own grief. It doesn’t matter what other people are going through. These are your feelings. Nobody else’s.” He paused to collect his thoughts. “Thank you for telling me about this. And… I’m really sorry for what happened to Lee and Michael.”

“Thanks,” Will mumbled. At that moment, he wanted nothing more than to collapse into his boyfriend’s arms; the arms of the boy who understood the pain of losing someone, who understood how much it hurt. But in the back of his mind, Will knew that this conversation was Nico’s attempt to deflect away from their earlier argument. And Will really just wanted to move on, so he went ahead and asked, “Can we talk about what’s going on with you, now?”

Nico glanced at him warily. “What is it that you want to know?”

Will really didn’t understand where it came from. Maybe it was the Xanax lowering his brain to mouth filter; before he could stop himself, he blurted out the first thing that popped into his mind.

“Have you ever tried to kill yourself?”

Nico immediately stiffened. His eyes blazed with anger once again. “What the— What kind of question is that?!”

“I’m sorry!” Will backtracked. “I— I shouldn’t have asked you that, it was really inappropriate and I wasn’t thinking, but I just— It was on my mind because you were saying such horrible things about yourself earlier and I realized that I didn’t know if you had ever— ever seriously considered, y’know…”

Will trailed off, his face hot with shame, as his boyfriend curled in on himself in discomfort. The horribly awkward silence was back, returning in full force between them. Will knew he should say something, anything, to break the tension. But his tongue felt heavy in his mouth.

Finally, after what felt like hours, Nico took a deep breath and began to speak. “Do you remember how I ran away to Las Vegas at the beginning of freshman year?” When Will nodded, he continued, “Well… I hadn’t thought through any of the specifics… but I wasn’t really planning on coming back home.”

“Oh,” Will managed to whisper, feeling a familiar pang in his chest.

“And it was so stupid!” Nico burst out. “After my mom, after Bianca— The thing that pushed me over the edge was my crush getting together with his girlfriend?!” He ran his hands through his hair. “But it felt like the end of the world to me, at the time. Percy… Spending time with him, fantasizing about him… It was the only thing that made me truly happy. And without that, I just— I just felt so hopeless. I was convinced that I would never have a relationship like Percy and Annabeth, that I was doomed to be alone just because I was— because I was born gay.” He spat out the word like it had offended him. “And to me, that just… that wasn’t a future worth staying alive for.”

“But I proved you wrong, didn’t I?” Will murmured, his head still reeling with the weight of Nico’s confession. “So why did you— Why are you still hurting yourself?”

Nico huffed in frustration. “Look, Will, it’s different, okay? The— The cutting, the rubber bands… I’m not doing that because I want to die. And I told you, it doesn’t have anything to do with you.”

“Then what does it have to do with?” Will asked, desperate for answers. “Please, Nico, I just want to understand—”

“Yesterday was the anniversary of the accident,” Nico blurted out. His face twisted in pain. “It’s been… four years. Four years since Bianca died.”

And finally, everything made sense. The reason Nico hadn’t come to school the day before, the four cuts on his arm; it was all connected to this. Will didn’t know how he hadn’t realized. He didn’t know why Nico had kept it from him. But of course, Will had kept things of this nature from Nico, so maybe he did understand more than he thought.

“Nico, I’m so sorry… Do you want to talk about it?”

“The day before that was Hazel’s birthday,” Nico continued on, like he didn’t want to dwell on it. “And I knew how much you were looking forward to tonight, but I’ve been feeling like sh*t lately and I was so scared of ruining things for everyone else that I— I just…” Nico took a deep breath as he collected his thoughts. “It probably sounds crazy, but hurting myself— It’s my emergency brake. It helps me get my emotions back under control. Because when I’m upset, I feel it with my entire body. I get antsy, like I’m trapped in my own skin, and the only way to release all that energy is to take it out on myself. And it doesn’t matter how small or stupid the thing that sets me off is; I always feel just as bad, like my emotional reactions are constantly turned up to a hundred percent.” He buried his face in his hands. “Everything is just so intense…”

“That doesn’t sound crazy; it sounds exhausting,” Will comforted him, even though he didn’t think he truly understood.

“It used to be worse. Before I started therapy, before I met you… I was angry, and sad, and depressed, pretty much all the time. But now… I don’t feel that way anymore. I get upset less and less, but in the time in between, I don’t really feel good. Just… empty. It’s like I’m only capable of feeling everything at once, or nothing at all. And I just can’t help but wonder—” Nico’s voice cracked. “Is this normal? Sure, I don’t want to die anymore, but I’m still not really happy most of the time. Is that what getting better is supposed to feel like?”

“You don’t feel happy?” Will asked, sadly, selfishly. “Not even when you’re with me?”

“That’s the thing,” Nico replied. “Most of the time, I just feel empty and cold, but when I’m with you… It’s like stepping into the sun.” His voice softened, and he curled his arms around himself. “You make me so happy that the thought of losing you makes me feel like I’m dying. And I’m— I’m so scared, Will,” Nico choked out. “Because one day you’re going to leave, just like everyone always does, and then I’ll never be able to feel happy again.”

Will was both flattered and caught off guard. Nico’s words were so intense that the only way Will could rationalize them was by telling himself that Nico wasn’t thinking straight. “Hey, who said anything about me leaving? Why would I do that?”

“Because there’s nothing good about me,” Nico lamented. “Nothing good at all.”

And when Will looked into Nico’s eyes and saw them filled with pure anguish, it was like a knife stabbed him in the heart. Because he realized that Nico was absolutely, one hundred percent convinced that what he had said was true.

As Will reeled in shock, Nico continued his self-deprecation. “And I can’t help but think that must mean— It must mean I’m just some kind of charity case to you, that you’re only dating me because you want to try to fix me—”

“That’s not true!” Will exclaimed, snapping to his senses. “You’re brave, and resilient, and caring, and so, so strong… I like you for who you are, and for who I am when I’m around you. You make me feel like it’s okay to be myself. Like I don’t have to keep up appearances, like I don’t have to be responsible and level-headed and calm all the time.” Will placed his hand over Nico’s. “And maybe… maybe I do wish that I could take all your sadness away, sometimes. And I hate that I can’t, but I know that the best I can do is be here to listen to you and give you support. But in order for me to do that, you’re gonna have to talk to me about how you’re doing, okay?”

Nico nodded absently. The two of them sat there in silence, no longer as uncomfortable as before. Now that they had both come down, they took a moment to breathe.

Will leaned his head back against the wall, feeling exhausted. Man, I could really go for some weed right now, he thought to himself.

Nico glanced at him inquisitively, and Will was almost fooled into thinking he had said that out loud, before Nico asked, “Are you taking my pulse?”

Will’s eyes flickered down to their linked hands. Unconsciously, two of his fingers had shifted to the inside of Nico’s wrist. In sync with Nico’s pulse, he counted up to five, then gave his boyfriend a soft smile. “It’s… reassuring. Reminds me that you’re still alive.”

Nico gave him a look, like he couldn’t believe how much of a dork Will was being. “Well, here.”

Then suddenly, he was shuffling over and situating himself in Will’s lap, his back pressed up against Will’s chest. And as if that wasn’t already flustering enough, then Nico unzipped the collar of his costume and guided Will’s hand underneath his shirt, so it was resting directly over his heart.

For the second time that night, Will couldn’t breathe. Nico had never let him touch him like this before. He was making himself incredibly vulnerable. Feeling the softness of his boyfriend’s chest, the rhythmic beating of his heart under his fingertips; it overwhelmed Will with emotion.

“I’m trying really hard, Will,” Nico murmured. “I’m— I’m going to get there. I’m going to be okay.”

Will buried his face in Nico’s hair, wrapping his free arm around his boyfriend’s waist and pulling him closer as he tried to process everything Nico had just confessed to him. “I’m really glad you’re here.”

The two of them stayed like that for a while. Will held Nico close, and Nico let himself be held until Will was content, until Will was convinced that he was safe. After a while, their breathing synchronized. Their hearts matched each other beat for beat. Given how badly they had fought earlier, this newfound closeness was euphoric.

“Nico?” Will spoke up after a while. “Promise me—”

“Please don’t make me promise not to do it again,” Nico cut him off. His voice wavered. “I— I can’t bear the thought of disappointing you.”

Will sighed heavily. “You should at least talk to someone about it, though. Your therapists, your family—”

“No,” Nico blurted out. “I don’t want them to know that I’m not doing as well as they think I am… Especially Hazel. Please, Will, you can’t tell her about any of this.”

“Fine,” Will huffed, even though he didn’t want to agree. “But promise me… Promise me you’ll tell me next time an important date comes up, so that I know to check in on you. Okay?”

“Okay,” Nico whispered.

Will leaned forward and pressed a tender kiss to the back of Nico’s neck, smirking to himself as he noticed Nico’s heart rate speed up. “Thank you.”

After a few moments of silence, Nico spoke again. “So is that all you wanted to talk about?”

“Um… There is one more thing,” Will replied. “I still want to know how you were able to afford that LEGO set.”

Nico huffed in annoyance. “My mother’s side of the family can be traced all the way back to the Venetian trading empire,” he explained. “Now that she and Bianca are gone, well… I inherited my family’s home, along with, um, a substantial fortune. My dad is the one who manages it, but really, it’s my money.”

“Wait, so… You used your inheritance to buy me a Star Wars LEGO set?!”

“Well when you say it like that—”

“Oh my god,” Will laughed in disbelief, all of the tension leaving his body. “Oh my god, you’re like my sugar daddy!”

“Hey!” Nico protested. The tips of his ears flushed an adorable shade of pink. “Next time you want an expensive gift, you can go ask your actual dad for it!”

“Hm… I like you better, though,” Will pouted. He traced his thumb over his boyfriend’s bare collarbone as he leaned down to whisper in his ear. “You’re much cuter, and if I’m lucky, you might decide to give me a kiss, too—”

“Will!” Nico groaned, squirming in his arms. He lifted a hand to stifle his laughter; Will couldn’t help but laugh along with him, not letting up until his stomach started to hurt.

After they had both settled down again, Nico asked, “When are we leaving for the movie?”

“Do you still feel up to going?” Will asked. “We don’t have to, if you don’t want to.”

Nico considered it for a second. “Can we take the sports car?”

“If that’s what you want,” Will conceded.

So the two of them made their way back to Will’s bedroom, where Nico helped Will put on the rest of his stormtrooper armor. Maybe it was just a residual effect of his panic attack, but being so close to Nico made Will feel a little lightheaded. If they had been about to see any other movie, he might’ve suggested that they stay home and cuddle instead.

But soon enough, he found himself in the driver’s seat of the yellow Corvette, cautiously starting it up as Nico admired all the different lights and gadgets on the dashboard. As he reversed out of the driveway, Will recalled what his dad had told him: that no one could resist the allure of a guy with a cool car. Then Apollo had winked at him. Will shuddered at the memory.

In the passenger seat, Nico opened his phone. He scrolled through the messages he had missed from his other friends. Will glanced over in his direction when Nico let out a soft gasp. “Annabeth got into Columbia.”

“Oh, that’s sick!”

“Yeah,” Nico agreed, a little bit absently. “It’s really great. She and Percy will both be going to college in New York now.”

“That’s pretty far away,” Will commented. Nico’s words from earlier echoed through his head: “One day you’re going to leave, just like everyone always does.” He felt weighed down by sympathy for his boyfriend, but he didn’t know what to say to make him feel better, so he tried to change the subject. “Man, it’s gonna suck not being able to see you while I’m in Texas with my grandparents this next week.”

Nico frowned at the reminder. “Do you think… Maybe, not this time, of course, but someday… I could meet them?” Will stiffened up as Nico continued, “It’s just, none of my grandparents are alive anymore, so…”

Will really wished Nico hadn’t asked him that. It was another thing he had been trying to keep from him; Nico struggled so much with his sexuality already, and Will didn’t want to expose him to more negativity. “Um, I mean, you could… But it’s probably not the best idea at this point in time.”

“Oh,” Nico replied, looking dejected again.

“I’m not out to them,” Will blurted out, before Nico could get the idea in his mind that he had somehow done something to make Will ashamed of him, or not want to introduce him to his family. “My mom— She says that I could tell them. And that she would be on my side if they don’t take it well. But I just… She fights with them so much already, and I’m kind of the glue that holds everyone together, and I don’t— I’m really scared of messing that up, if they find out.”

“You think they wouldn’t accept you?”

Will winced. “They’re, um, really religious. My granddad especially.”

“But my mom was religious,” Nico pointed out. “And my dad says that she was fine with me—”

“It’s different. Your mom— She accepted you in spite of her beliefs. But with my grandparents, it’s more like they’d use their religion as an excuse not to.”

They rode the rest of the way to the movie theater without speaking, with only the faint sound of Christmas carols playing on the radio to break the silence. Nico stared out the window. He looked downcast again, and Will mentally kicked himself for not being able to keep his boyfriend’s mood up. But it wasn’t like he could have avoided the conversation about his grandparents, since Nico was the one who had started it. And the more he thought about it, the more anxious Will began to feel about his upcoming visit with them.

He tried to put it out of his mind as he parked the car and walked into the movie theater. He made a big deal of putting on his stormtrooper helmet, attempting to cheer Nico up by acting ridiculous, but Nico mostly just seemed agitated by it. Will figured that maybe some popcorn would improve his boyfriend’s mood, so he led him over to the line for concessions, which was annoyingly long.

As they waited for it to progress, Will pulled out his phone. “Take a selfie with me?”

“What, so you can show all of our friends how I look in this stupid costume?”

“Come on, please?” Will begged, and with a huff, Nico stepped closer and obliged him. Once he had taken a photo, Will pulled his helmet off in order to look at it better. “You’re not smiling.”

“Kylo Ren doesn’t smile,” Nico pointed out.

Before Will could argue back, the girl who was standing in front of them in line turned around. “I can take your picture, if you want.”

“Yeah, that’d be great, thanks— Wait, Drew? What’re you doing here?”

“What do you think?” Drew asked, rolling her eyes. “Same as you, dummy. We’re seeing Star Wars.”

“You like Star Wars? Why didn’t you tell me, back when we were—”

Dating, Will almost said, stopping himself just in time as he realized that Nico was standing uncomfortably still beside him. Oh god, this was going to be awkward.

“I don’t,” Drew corrected him. “But Billie does.”

The girl standing next to Drew gave them a little wave. She had dyed blue hair, and Will vaguely recognized her from seeing her around school. He glanced between the two girls, trying to get a sense of their relationship to each other, but Drew quickly interrupted his pondering.

“So do you want me to take your picture, or not?”

“Oh, yeah, thanks,” Will fumbled, handing her his phone.

As Drew moved to take their photo, Nico reached out and grabbed Will’s hand, linking their fingers together and pulling him close. Will could barely contain a gasp of surprise. Nico never held his hand in public. Especially not in full view of strangers. But here he was, letting himself be photographed by Will’s ex-girlfriend, of all people, while holding Will’s hand. And even after Drew finished taking their picture, Nico still didn’t let go.

“You really have Kylo’s evil glare down perfectly,” Drew said to Nico as she reviewed the photos she had taken.

“Oh, that’s just his resting face,” Will joked, before glancing down at his boyfriend and realizing that right then, Nico looked like he was about to kill someone. With a start, it occurred to Will that Nico might actually be jealous of Drew.

“Nico, right?” Drew asked, addressing Nico directly, and Will silently prayed that neither of them would say anything that would make the situation worse. “I remember that video Octavian posted of you at the beginning of the year. It was pretty badass, what you said to him.”

Nico blinked in shock. “I— Thanks, I guess.”

“And for the record,” Drew continued, glancing wistfully between the two of them, “you guys are really cute together. I’m glad Will finally found someone who’s able to put up with his incurable nerdiness.”

Then she turned away to speak to the employee behind the concessions counter, leaving Will to wonder whether he should take her final statement as a compliment or an insult. Nico still looked bewildered, too, and so as Drew and Billie moved to walk away, Will impulsively reached out and stopped his ex-girlfriend for one last second.

“Can I tell him?” he whispered to Drew. “About— About you?”

Drew narrowed her perfectly made-up eyes, considering it for a second. Finally, she nodded, then walked away just as Nico yanked Will forwards by the hand in order to talk to the cashier at the concessions counter.

It was only after Nico’s hands were occupied by a slushie and a large popcorn that he released Will’s own hand from his grip. As the two of them began to walk farther into the theater, Will faced Nico, curiosity getting the best of him. “What’s with the hand holding?”

“What, like I need a reason to hold hands with my boyfriend?” Nico scowled. “Besides, if anybody says anything, I’ll deck them in the face. Just like I did to Bryce.”

He kept on walking, but Will froze. It took him a second to process Nico’s words; when he finally did, he was overcome by the sudden urge to kiss Nico until he couldn’t breathe. He felt like he might die if he didn’t do it right then, but they were out in public and he knew Nico wouldn’t be happy with him for it, so after a few seconds of scanning his surroundings, weighing his options, Will grabbed Nico by the arm and dragged him into the boys’ bathroom.

In a rush of giddiness, Will pushed Nico inside one of the stalls, pinning him up against the door as he locked it. He dropped his stormtrooper helmet to the ground, not even caring how gross it was, in favor of cupping Nico’s confused face with both of his hands.

“Will, what the—”

Will silenced him with a searing kiss. Nico squirmed beneath him, but with both his hands occupied by the food Will had bought him, he couldn’t exactly push Will away. Will only pulled back when he registered Nico’s muffled noises of protest.

“What the hell are you—”

“That was the first time you’ve called me your boyfriend,” Will blurted out. His face split into a grin so wide it was almost painful.

“Oh,” Nico breathed, the anger in his expression fading to something more serene. “I suppose it was.”

Will found his reaction almost laughable, until his stomach twisted with guilt as he remembered that he had basically just forced himself on his boyfriend. “Sorry, I— I shouldn’t have done that, I was just really excited and got carried away—”

“Just shut up and kiss me again,” Nico cut him off, dark eyes glittering and his mouth curled into a smirk.

Will didn’t need to be told twice. He pressed forward again, and this time, Nico met him in a messy, passionate kiss that lasted until Will remembered something else he needed to tell his boyfriend.

“And Drew Tanaka is a lesbian,” Will burst out as he tried to catch his breath. “You can’t tell anyone, but she realized it when she and I were dating and then when we broke up, in order to save her reputation we made up this story that she was only dating me as a dare—”

“Well that explains a lot,” Nico commented, his voice dripping with amusem*nt.

Will just laughed lightheartedly as he leaned back down, pressing as close to his boyfriend as he could, planting kiss after kiss on his lips until they were both left blushing and breathless. Will could’ve gone on like that forever if Nico hadn’t finally spoken up.

“Will, we— we should stop,” he panted reluctantly.

“But I don’t want to,” Will whined, stealing another kiss.

Nico rolled his eyes. “I am not skipping this movie to make out with you in a public restroom. This has got to be, like, the weirdest place we’ve ever kissed.” Then, as if to punctuate his statement, the toilet flushed in the stall next to them.

In all honesty, Will had almost forgotten about the movie by that point. He bit back a groan of frustration, but allowed his boyfriend to drag him out of the bathroom stall; the two of them received a weird look from a man who was washing his hands, which prompted Will to rush out of the bathroom, face hot and eyes on the ground.

He only relaxed once he was settled into one of the incredibly comfortable reclining movie theater chairs. In the darkness as the previews played, Will’s mind wandered back to images of Nico’s bright eyes and kiss-bitten lips, the feeling of kissing him, how much of a relief it was after how badly they had fought earlier. Will cursed the armrest between him and his boyfriend as Nico stared ahead at the screen, oblivious. He wished he could just crawl over into Nico’s chair and share it with him, but he knew that Nico would probably freak out if he did that. And even Will had to admit that it would be highly inappropriate; he needed to get his mind out of the gutter.

The movie passed by in a blur. Will couldn’t help it, but every couple of minutes he gave in to a fit of yawning. His medication-induced fatigue mixed with the excitement about the movie that he had been harboring for ages, leaving him feeling hazy but content. He wasn’t sure how much of the movie he was truly processing at the moment, but it didn’t matter. He had already planned to go see it at least three more times in theaters, anyway.

Towards the end of the movie, there came a scene where Rey had died after defeating Emperor Palpatine. Both Will and Nico were on the edge of their seats while Kylo Ren revived her; as they watched, the two characters shared an unexpected, passionate kiss.

“What the f*ck,” Nico mumbled.

Then, Kylo promptly fell over and died.

Nico began to choke on his laughter as he pointed up at the screen. “Me.”

“Nico!” Will gasped, horrified.

Nico at least had the decency to look guilty. “What, too soon?”

“Yes, Jesus Christ!”

“Sorry,” Nico sheepishly replied, reaching over and lacing his fingers with Will’s.

They stayed like that until the end of the movie, Will tracing his thumb over Nico’s knuckles in the darkness. It made him feel a little bit better, though he had to actively push down the worries and fears that were threatening to resurface again. Nico didn’t seem to take notice, which Will thought was for the best. He didn’t want to drag Nico back down again.

When he stood up to leave, Will swayed on his feet, more exhausted than he had realized. As Nico began to discuss the movie with him, Will tried to follow the conversation but felt downright loopy.

“I can’t believe they just made Palpatine the main villain all along!” Nico ranted.

“Yeah, wasn’t it cool? And they gave Rey Force lightning and everything—”

“No! Absolutely not cool! It felt like watching the original trilogy all over again!”

“But the original trilogy was good!”

“Couldn’t they have done something more unique, though? I mean, it didn’t match up with The Last Jedi at all!” Nico took a deep breath, then continued, “And what was up with those two ladies kissing in the background at the end? It only lasted like, two seconds!”

Will stifled a yawn as they walked up to the side of his car. “It’s better than nothing, though.”

“But if they were going to put gay people in the movie, why ignore the obvious chemistry between Poe and Finn? They just— They just did nothing with it!”

Will pulled Nico into a sleepy hug. “Shh,” he said into his boyfriend’s hair. “It’s okay. It’s just a movie, Nico.”

“It’s just a— How can you say that?!”

At that, Will began to laugh. He couldn’t help but be amused by how invested Nico had gotten, and by how he found himself barely even caring about it, when he had been looking forward to the movie for months. The events of that night had just put things into a little more perspective for Will. There were some things in his life that were much more important than Star Wars, people he needed to look after and cherish.

“Let’s get you home,” Will mumbled, pressing a kiss into his boyfriend’s hair, feeling like he could get high just from the scent of Nico’s shampoo.

Nico pulled back and grabbed Will’s face in both of his hands, scrutinizing him. “Are you going to be okay to drive?”

“Of course,” Will assured him, sleepily nuzzling into his boyfriend’s hands. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You look like you could fall asleep standing up,” Nico pointed out. He narrowed his eyes, thinking for a second, before he demanded, “Give me the keys.”

“You wanna— What? You don’t even have a driver’s license—”

“My sixteenth birthday is next month, Will.” Nico glanced up at him through his long lashes, begging him to agree. “Please? I really want to try driving your car.”

On all accounts, Will should’ve protested more; he wasn’t planning on keeping the car, and it was way too expensive to risk letting someone else drive it, not to mention someone who didn’t even have a driver’s license. What Nico wanted to do was most definitely illegal. But when he looked at Will like that, just on the verge of visibly pouting, Will couldn’t find it in himself to say no. And the spark of excitement that flashed across Nico’s face when Will handed over the keys was worth breaking the law for.

Once they were situated, Will in the passenger seat and Nico to his left, Nico started up the car. The lights and icons on the dashboard lit up all at once, illuminating the enthusiasm on Nico’s face. “Sweet!”

“Please just don’t crash the car,” Will mumbled in defeat as Nico pulled out of the movie theater parking lot.

The usual traffic was nowhere to be seen when Nico merged onto the highway; glancing over at the dashboard, Will confirmed that it was past two in the morning. The empty road stretched in front of them, a never-ending expanse of blackness.

“It’s totally deserted,” Will commented, quietly thanking the universe for making Nico’s drive home as safe as possible.

Next to him, Nico hummed in agreement, his gaze locked on the road. Will relaxed back into his seat and closed his eyes. But his rest was short-lived, because a second later, he heard Nico murmur, “Alright, let’s see how fast this thing can go.”

Will was suddenly pressed back against his seat by the force of the car accelerating. He cried out in surprise, his eyes flying open to see Nico with his foot pressed all the way down on the gas pedal, the car’s speedometer showing that in only a few seconds, they were already pushing a hundred miles an hour.

“Nico!” Will screamed, panic welling up in his chest. “Slow down!”

But the only response Will was met with was Nico’s laughter, an expression of pure, unbridled joy. There was a crazed look in his eyes, bordering on insane, and Will had no idea what was going through his boyfriend’s mind. It scared him almost as much as the car’s high speed.

“I’m— I’m serious, Nico!” Will yelled out. “You need to slow down, right now!”

Will breathed a shaky sigh of relief as Nico let up on the gas. The car slowed back down to a safe seventy miles per hour, but Nico’s bubbly laughter continued to fill the vehicle, like he was high on his adrenaline rush.

Will turned to face him. “Oh my god, why did you do that?!”

“I have no idea,” Nico admitted deliriously. “But wasn’t it fun?”

Will couldn’t help himself; Nico’s excitement was contagious, impossible to resist. Soon enough, he was dissolving into a fit of laughter alongside his boyfriend, so caught up in the moment that he couldn’t even think straight.

As Nico exited the highway, Will mulled over everything that had happened that night. Some parts of it had been pretty bad, though it seemed to be ending alright; all in all, it definitely wasn’t how he had expected the premiere of The Rise of Skywalker to go. It was certainly different from how he had spent the nights of the other new Star Wars movies. With that thought, something suddenly occurred to him.

“Hey, you know what I just realized? Tonight is the two year anniversary of my bisexual awakening!” Will exclaimed. “Well, maybe not the exact date, but still.”

“What do you mean?”

“I had a bit of a crisis after I went to see The Last Jedi in eighth grade,” Will explained, realizing too late that this story was terribly embarrassing. “Remember that scene where Rey and Kylo are speaking to each other through a Force connection, and Kylo randomly doesn’t have a shirt on—”

“Oh my god,” Nico blurted out, so taken aback that he accidentally swerved the car as he glanced over at Will. “Oh my god, you’re serious.”

“It’s not like I could control it!”

“Will, that’s— I can’t believe… We literally made fun of that scene when you showed me the movie! His pants were so high-waisted and weird looking—”

“I know, I know!” Will burst out, his face hot with shame. “I just— I saw that scene, and suddenly it made sense why I thought Kylo was such a cool character, why I couldn’t take my eyes off of him every time he was on screen—”

“Wait a second.” Nico slammed on the brakes; luckily, they were only a few feet away from pulling into his driveway. “Is that why you first started crushing on me? Because I kind of look like Kylo Ren?”

“Please,” Will giggled. “You’re a lot cuter than Kylo.”

“And— And tonight!” Nico exclaimed, incredulous. “You made me dress up like him! Are you— Is this some kind of fetish for you?!”

“No! It’s not— I swear that it’s not like that!” Will quickly denied. He didn’t allow himself any time for deeper introspection. He didn’t think he could handle it.

“You kissed me in this costume!”

The sight of Nico fuming in the driver’s seat over something so ridiculous caused a feeling of warm affection to bloom in Will’s chest. He stared at his boyfriend for a moment, just appreciating how adorable he was when he was angry, before his mouth split into a sly grin. “Want me to do it again?”

At that, Nico got up and stormed out of the car, slamming the door behind him. Will fumbled with his seatbelt for a second before getting out and following Nico up his driveway, practically breaking out into a run in order to catch up with him.

“What, so you don’t want to make out with your boyfriend?” Will teasingly called out.

Standing on his front porch, Nico whipped around, eyes blazing with the same intensity Will had seen in them earlier when Nico had gone speeding down the highway. Before Will could catch his breath, Nico was grabbing him by the collar, pulling him down and crashing their lips together.

Will’s plastic stormtrooper armor rustled as he struggled to maintain his balance, swaying on his feet a little as he grabbed onto Nico’s waist to steady himself. He stumbled forward, pushing Nico back against his front door and knocking the air out of him.

“God, could you possibly be any more annoying?” Nico panted against Will’s mouth.

“I could try,” Will retorted.

Nico weakly slapped at Will’s plastic chestplate. “Asshole.”

“If I’m such an asshole, then why are you dating me?” Will leaned even closer, and was met with Nico’s flustered glare. “Y’know, I’m starting to think you might like me more than you let on.”

“Shut up.”

Will chuckled under his breath. “Gladly.”

And then they were falling into another kiss, a desperate mess of teeth and tongue that set Will’s heart racing and left him weak in the knees. Will was drowning in Nico. The way his breath hitched, the soft little noises he was making in the back of his throat; it was all so intense and physical and real, a glorious reminder that Nico was there with him, safe, alive.

It felt like a dam had broken between them. Like they had overcome something together and made it to the other side, and now they were closer than ever. Will poured everything he had into the kiss, trying to convey the true depth of his feelings in a way he couldn’t explain with words.

Nico went wonderfully pliant beneath him as Will pressed closer, caging him in with his broad shoulders and tall stature. In spite of the fact that his stormtrooper costume prevented him from feeling Nico’s hands against his skin, Will was kind of grateful for it; the plastic piece between his legs meant that Nico had no idea just how much Will was enjoying their current makeout session, and Will really didn’t want to scare him off.

“Will…” Nico breathed, curling his fingers in Will’s hair. He gazed up at the taller boy, all flushed cheeks and long lashes. “I don’t… I don’t want you to go.”

Will’s fingers tightened around Nico’s waist. He stared into his boyfriend’s onyx eyes, trying to make sense of what was going on in his head. Was Nico asking him to stay the night? Or was Will just reading into his words because of how turned on he was? No, the logical thing to think was that Nico was going to miss him while he was in Texas. That’s all it was. But still… Nico didn’t exactly seem to be in a stable state of mind at the moment, and with the way he was blinking up at Will owlishly, as if waiting to measure his reaction, Will couldn’t help but suspect there was a deeper meaning behind his words.

A bolt of panic flashed through Will’s chest. Despite how long they had been dating, the two of them hadn’t even broached this subject in conversation yet; Nico always freaked out whenever things got intense, so Will generally tried to avoid getting to that point at all. But now it felt like they were jumping three steps ahead, landing somewhere that Will hadn’t anticipated and wasn’t prepared for. And it was kind of terrifying.

Will knew that he cared for Nico, more than he had ever cared for anyone else. That much he was sure of. Will was also sure of another thing; he would never be able to forgive himself if he acted like his father. He didn’t want to be intimate with someone unless he was completely, one hundred percent sure that he was in love with them.

Was he in love with Nico?

How was he supposed to know?

Will took a step back. “I’ll be back in time for New Year’s,” he said, playing it safe. “My mom is gonna throw a party. She said you and your family are welcome to come.”

“I meant…” Nico’s eyes flickered to the ground. “Are you sure you’ll be able to get home okay? It’s almost three in the morning…”

“I’ll be fine,” Will assured him, gently shutting him down. Besides, the way Nico had kissed him earlier had left him feeling much more awake.

Before he could move any farther away, Nico pulled him into a hug, clinging to him tightly. Will felt his heart fill with affection as he wrapped his arms around his boyfriend, hearing him let out a contented sigh. After everything, it was a brief moment of vulnerability on Nico’s part. Nico hadn’t talked very much about his sister, not more than had been absolutely necessary, but the way he was desperately seeking comfort now served to remind Will that despite his occasional bursts of energy, Nico was still very much not okay.

Saying goodbye was always hard, but tonight it was downright painful. When Nico finally stepped inside after several reassurances from Will that yes, he would get home safe, he would text Nico later, there was nothing to worry about, Will felt like a part of himself had been ripped away. He was left there, alone on the front porch, trying in vain to sort through the flurry of thoughts and emotions Nico had left behind in his wake.