RUBY RIDGE REBELS
A novel by
COUNT: V V Nicolzah (Novel #78)
(unedited/unabridged. Copy Right protected)
Let them praise the name of the Lord, for his name alone is exacted; his splendor is above the earth and the heavens.
Psalm 148: 13
Chapter I
Origin of the Order
act I
THE HOUNDS OF BREATH HAVEN
Psst: Hey there! Read fass since I have already, somehowcharged your ass!
(Ha, ha! Just kidding, silly!)
The truth shall be told!
PLEASE NOTE:
The only assets lacking are 2 aircraft!
I am sorry kids, but it was "NOT" two airplanes that hit your towers; they were two "US" war missiles.
I know for a fact... as I witnessed it firsthand.
"AND I SHALL MAKE THEM ALL PAY!"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tFgmKiRRwxY
"Imagine that I gave you a chance to learn about Dracullia (Dra-sue-lia), Mistress of the "WOLF PACK WARRIORS," and her extraordinary and mysterious life! Would you be stunned and in awe?
The famous Keno Weidner Research Institution at 212 N. Cypress Lake, Vesuvius on Saturn's magnificent and largest moon, Titan, is revealed to be the Mistress' genuine residence after a thorough investigation of the crime scene."
Da Ardie Blinkwurm glanced up as she handed her mother, Farinata Blinkwurm, the worn and dusty old book jacket.
Farin gently shook her head, removing sweat from her brow because of a minor fever. This was an unusual setting. "Thank you so much, dear. I will discuss the following in further detail in my next report. We'll go forward with plans. Let us move out now."
"But that's three days from now!" Declared Nabilji'en Amram Camhearse. "Da Ardie! We must hold fast and wait!"
"We are now in neutral territory. We may supply my reports or a date that works best for you." Reminded Farin.
Nabi looked desperately at her dear best friend. "DA ARDIE! I beg you to hear me out! We can't leave now! My primal instincts say otherwise! Predator or prey! Which is it?"
Da Ardie rummaged through the pockets of her military camouflage vest, pulling out a silver tin can containing Jofti, a tobacco product that resembled Copenhagen snuff. She inserted a pinch between her bottom lip and gums without saying anything.
The stench emanating from the distance had a terrible odor reminiscent of gasoline. Nobody on the field ever seemed to notice, let alone care. They could hear another twelve artillery rounds from various Gas Mitts Com one thousand millimeter cannons firing in the distance. However it was promptly ignored as well.
"Do you want to be reminded that Spokane, Wenatchee, and Missoula are all now under siege?" Challenged Nabi.
"We are well aware of that. Now sit back down and try to relax for a change!" Snapped Farin. "Eyestah! Indeed, you are utterly absurd!"
"THEY'RE ONTO US FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! WAKE THE HECK UP, MOMMA CAS!"
The beautiful platinum blonde tresses of Farin begin to smoke! "Please refrain from using that name to address me, Nabilji'en Camhearse!"
Nabi averted her gaze with a hint of embarrassment, as though nothing significant had occurred. "Da Ardie! Kindly inform Mama-san that my previous statement was intended as a jest. Oh my goodness!"
In a brief moment, the youngster came close to causing a global conflagration with those in her own squad.
"Follow me!"
"What?" Came a whisper.
"NOW!"
Farin found the little thing funny as she finished writing the last line of the crew's field report, which made her laugh in a sassy way. "Ensure she experiences discomfort, my sweetness!"
A sound emanated from an undisclosed location within the depths of the moist and dimly lit trench. "KAY, MOM!"
Out of the crimson gloom, Édol Beth Rocket, better known as the Arkadelphia Stormtrooper, gracefully slipped into the trench beside Farin, pushing her slightly to the right.
"All's quiet, boss!" The youngster reported removing her combat face shield. "WOW! I… I mean, like… TOTALLY WOW, MOMMA!"
Farin looked up with a deep concern in her eyes. "You alright Rocky? Hurt?"
"Nah-Dah! Just… just like… freaking out a bit! It smells like poop or sump'n out there! Beyond the North Punkin Ridge. Lots of action, man!"
"Really?"
"YA, YA! Momma! I am really getting scared and… and….!"
"Really? Sit back, hon!"
"YA, YA! KAY!" Édol Beth squeaked, with tears on the verge of forming in her eyes. "I scared of dieing. momma! I oh, so scared!"
"Hey! What can I say, babe? When I make a promise, I always keep it!" Field marshal Blinkwurm, feeling inspired, gave the beautiful child a loving kiss on the left cheek. "We will all be fine, love!"
The ditch was suddenly lighted by an ancient miners oil lamp. "Hey, Rocket!" Nabi welcomed the young teen soldier by filling a nasty tin cup with freshly made, nappy tasting army trench coffee to match. "HERE! This will put hair on your chest… by gully!" She giggled.
"YA, YA! We still have four personnel inbound."
"OH, CRAP! WE DO?" Smiled Nabi as she entered the data into the 1783 Ruby Ridge Recon Rebels field logbook, flinching slightly at the rippling machine gun fire coming from some place in the far darkness over her left shoulder. "I wish they'd stop doing that! How vexing!"
Rocket's pearl essence eyes darkened and changed hue. "Nabi, you certainly know a thing or two!"
She glanced up at her scout leader, curious. "Why does your f*cking, crass sense of humor drive me up the f*cking wall so much?"
Nabi's eyes rolled, and she gave a sly grin."And my exclamation is... WHAT EVER, ROCKY!"
"I'll do to you what I did tah Penny Poppen-Schweitzer, if en ya keep it yup!" Rocket warned, grinding her teeth and clenching her little fists. "Du er sådan en tøs nogle gange!"
"OH REALLY!" Laughed Nabi, flinging her delicate head back and hiding her face with her palms.
They both detested their long-forgotten ornery junior high classmate. "HO-HO-HO! PLEASE TELL ME, BRO! What cha do, Rocky Star?"
Édol Beth started chuckling in a mischievous tone. "Well… she went to some nasty old witch and had the dah old bag cast a tummy ache spell on me!
Nabi glanced down to her little buddy while peering between her fingers. "OH GOSH!" She giggled. "Did it work?"
Rocket made a furious gesture by slapping her hands on her impressive hips! "HELL, NAH! I doubled down on dah bimbo and bounced it back to her off the back of a…BOGGART, MAN!"
Nabi closed her fingers and stood stiff in place grinning broadly! "OH NO! Did it work?"
Rocket scratched the top of her redhead. "Well, sorta! When she received my return spell to sender en client, it didn't operate properly. Instead of… belly pains, she got a serious case of… DAH ONES!" With that, Édol Beth started roaring! "FOE-AH-HOE MUNT, MAN!"
"MY TURN!" In an instant Nabi collapsed to the ground in a fit of VERY LOUD hysteria!
"I SAID… NOT IN UNIFORM… LADIES!" Barked Da Ardie. "I will not allow it!"
Laughing, Farin raised her head. "Didn't you just have that fat *ss of yours chewed out Nabi dearest?"
Rocket collapsed to her little knees in a fit of hysteria!
"Eyestah, ma'am." Confirmed Nabi.
"HOWIE CHIT, FUNNY- GUNNY! Dat's a HOE lotta chewn, man!" Édol Beth began playing! "Dat would be as inter…. ent… intertanging ath watching a Shunk makin out wit ah… POCKY…PINE! DOH!"
"Shut up, dietzel fritz!"
Turning, Da Ardie Blinkwurm added, "I'll include them in our suppertime prayers."
Since the Saints had blessed her unit with protecting our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, she knew without a doubt that whatever danger they faced now would be nothing more than a minor delay in the schedule.
"North Ridge is ablaze!"
Farin looked up from her field map. "How much of North Ridge?"
"ALL… of North Ridge, ma'am!"
As the evening's damp breeze set in, raindrops began to fall, allowing the miserable rain clouds to re-form and bringing with them the pungent odor of gunpowder.
"This place is a curse, I swear!"
"That bad?" Giggled Nabi.
"YA, YA!" Confirmed Rocket, extremely stressed! "The enemy is like… like, cutting the faces off all the captured! Like… like in that movie, "FACE OFF!" Wh… when they cut that… that guy's FACE-OFF!"
Farin bolted upright in an instant! "WHA… WHAT?"
"GROSS! THAT'S PATHETIC!" Declared nineteen-year-old Nabi! "I'm a little green behind the gills, ya know!"
"YA, YA! They're aiming to extract our Reverso chips… from within our skulls!"
"Has Upstream Bravo been informed about this?" Asked Farin replacing her Brettsbury dagger back into the black leather sheath on her hip.
Rocket took a brief break before continuing. "I'm not certain. ma'am. Sorry."
The stale fog floated across the bleak open terrain ahead of the 1783 RUBY RIDGE REBELS, dubbed the "The Lucky Butt-Nuggets" and led by Da Ardie Blinkwurm.
A lengthy wounded enemy soldier from the 667th Fort Breath Haven calvary slowly approached in the distance, clutching in his right hand a short thin stick covered in mud and a ripped white tee shirt fastened tightly in place, symbolizing the foreign veteran had surrendered and was unarmed.
"WHOA! HOE-DAH BOAT… Y"ALL!" yelped Rocket, spotting the wounded warrior struggling to approach. "BŪKITE ŠVIESA DRAUGAI!"
Nabi was up in an instant, with her night vision goggles in hand.
"AŠ ATEINU PAS TAVĘS, COMRADE!"
"He's not Lithuanian Rocky!"
"What?"
"He's… he's Bulgarian!" Grinned Nabi.
"BULGARIAN? WHAT!"
"A Vasken Bulgarian at that! Total hunks!"
"Dang Nabi! Makes it sound like yer ask in foe it!"
Nabi quickly sprung around. "I AM ASKING... FOE IT, DIP-SHIP!"
A massive white signal flare burst lighted the killing field immediately in front of the seasoned, all-female rebels, carrying the heavy scent of spent gunpowder.
"OH Wow! That's quite handy!" Laughed Nabi as she swiftly completed her log book.
The radio then started spewing static and misleading garble. "16 tack 2 charlie… by four... red hair... "
The demanding Rebels had fashioned a rudimentary satellite radio receiver from parts they had found in the back of an old barn outside Boise, Idaho, and assembled it in the back of their dug out shelter. To their surprise, the device functioned just as stated!
Édol Beth leaned back and adjusted the volume to her liking. "Da Ardie!" She yelled at her squad commander, who did not react to her application. "DA ARDIE! Did you hear what Nappy just said?"
"YA! Ha Ha Rocket!" Muttered Nabi primarily to herself. "Nappy, huh? You're a real hoot… aren't cha?"
"I heard, sweetie!" Da Ardie insisted A few seconds later, she turned to her left. "Now shut the f*ck up… BOZO!" She laughed, her grin widening.
"HEY!" Rocket has become extremely enraged by now! "Can you plea… kind… BLAH! Could I kindly have your attention, please?"
Farin responded with a warm, friendly grin. "Girlfriend, don't trouble yourself with pointless worry. I can promise you that we will not be leaving anytime soon! Calm down, babe!"
"HEY, MAN!" Erupted Rocket, still terrified and apprehensive from the atrocity she had to watch! "I CAN'T… " She started to yell, then calmed down a little. "Look at me, man! I... I can't go back out, buddy! They'll like... LIKE, CUT MY FACE OFF, MAN!"
"ROCKY!" Farin scolded in a motherly tone. "Calm down, you're not going anywhere! Ok! I will go fetch the wounded warrior!"
Da Ardie rose in an instant and led her fifteen-year-old rebel companion further into the dark and musty depths of what was left of their fragmented bomb shelter.
"Take a seat, squirt!" She humorously ordered as she rummaged through the squad's emergency readiness bag until she found a bottle of tall clear liquid.
Da Ardie poured a shot and delivered it to Rocket in an instant. "Bottoms up, little buddy!"
Rocket's pupils dilated. "WHAT? I'M NOT DRINKING THAT CRAP!"
With an underhanded wink, Da Ardie teased."Hurry, Rocky! It's yummy for the tummy!"
"No, I said! That's like… like, EVERCLEAR!"
"You are correct! It will assist to calm you down. Now consume it."
"No!"
"NOW!"
"NO!"
Da Ardie quickly spun around. "Where's my gun?"
"AIGHT!" The pungent liquor vanished in an instant! "YUCK!"
"AWE! It's amazing for you, girlfriend!" Da Ardie assured her wholeheartedly!
"Ya! Right!"
"Put hair on your chest, by golly!"
"SHUT UP, BUTT NUGGET!"
The radio went off again a few moments later. "Delta three seven seven four niner... how copy?"
Rocket instantly bent over and softly adjusted the squelch. "Didn't Nabbi say that the X-ray Delta company was nearly destroyed last night?"
Da Ardie shrugged in response. "I've no idea what Nabi might have said!" She growled loudly. "I get so much information shoved through me, it's not funny!"
"Well, I believe she did!" Rocket's little head spun like a top, nearly knocking her tiny four-foot ten frame into the damp soil. "WHOA! I need to lay down."
Da Ardie swept the young teen up into her strong olive-tone arms and tenderly laid her on top of an open, dusty ECW sleeping bag.
The exhausted kid was gone in a second!
"WOW!" Can this kid ever snore!"
Nabi beamed as she scanned the area in front of the squad in the charcoal-hazed horizon, seeking for anything visible in the dwindling light. Her protection consisted of huge pieces of broken and burnt concrete and rebar slabs.
"... Baker Team... 3-seven-three... how copy?"
A tremendous explosion and a blinding light ripped through the Ruby Ridge Rebels' present location, spreading shards of dirt, rock, and metal everywhere in an instant. Burnt sulfur stank once again.
Nabi stood up and proceeded to the rear of the makeshift chapel, lighting a little oil lamp along the way.
"You ready, kiddo?" Farin asked, hoisting her custom-made double-double-barreled shotgun over her exposed right shoulder.
"Yep!" Nabi confirmed as she grabbed her own first aid kit.
After the recent surprise rain storm, the mud and filth made travel virtually impossible. Even a maggot would have choked on the extremely foul odor.
"WHOA! MOTHA BEAR!" Exclaimed Farin loudly as she emerged from the subterranean shelter, entering a state of extreme madness and chaos. "Please remember to wear your face covering, Nabi."
"ROGER THAT, MOM!"
The two Rebels fought for a short time as they made their way through dangerous territory to reach the fallen foreign soldier. When they arrived, they saw that the young man was clinging to life by a thread.
"I've got you, bro!" Nabi spoke quietly as she held the limp fighter's head between her relatively clean knees.
"You are bleeding from the right ear, my friend." She told, moving the young man's head to one side and also knowing that he most likely did not speak English.
Both Rebels swiftly dove to the side as short bursts of machine gun fire erupted from somewhere beyond the hazy horizon.
Nabi cradled her injured comrade in her bosom, putting her little frame on top of his for more protection. "YOU'RE GOING TO HURT SOMEONE ONE OF THESE DAYS, YA GOOFY…!"
"Nabi! You have the filthiest little mouth, don't you?" Laughed Farin as she lay motionless, flat on her back.
"I don't give a damn... JACK-ASSES!"
Another barrage of gunfire ripped through the dark night sky.
"YA! As if all that bravado was worth zilch!"
She reached down and gently shook one of her watch patrol partners, Elky Silkwater, by her slender shoulder. "Hey, sleepy head... it's time for watch."
Twelve-year-old Elky, almost without her will, slowly sat up and wiped the dust from her eyes. "It's that time already?" She moaned in a raspy voice.
"What?"
"Noth'en!" She slurred. "Joe?"
"Eyestah, sure!" Nabi grinned as she poured her high school friend some scalding coffee into a canteen cup and handed it to her from within the dim lit enclosure.
"We headed to the crash shack first?"
Nabi stuck her head through a large opening and immediately surveyed the dim surroundings. "Nah Dah. First, I need to investigate the generator room. Then dock 24. We'll hit the crash shack last."
"Alright." Elky agreed, tying her last combat boot.
Da Ardie then appeared out of nowhere. "She's not going to stand duty tonight. I'll fill in for them."
Nabi raised his head in awe. "What? Why?"
"I don't want the twins going out there late at night anymore. From now on, you and I will be on night duty."
"Alright?" Agreed Nabi, a bit puzzled.
There was a brief pause. "I'm not going to wake Silky up then."
Da Ardie gave a kind look. "Eyestah. Please allow her more down time."
"So I guess that means I can go back to sleep."
"That's up to you girls." Replied Da Ardie before walking away.
"NO! That means you get to complete the logbook update and supply list." Protested Nabi. "You won't be sleeping in while I'm on duty! That's just not right... man!"
"ALRIGHT. Get all mad!"
Nabi drew a pair of semi-automatic Magnum Research Desert Eagle Grim Reaper pistols with pearl-handled side arms. She then removed her Westinghouse M-25 Phased Plasma Pulse-Gun from its wall mount containing fifty astronomical units. "Ready?"
Da Ardie swiveled around, flashing a warm grin. "Let's do it, girlfriend."
A short time later and from out of nowhere, Nabi was forcefully tossed into the mud, without any warning. "You little red neck, red headed punk!" Da Ardie screamed angrily! "I should kick your backstabbing butt!"
"WHAT!" Nabi challenged, digging dirt from the corners of her mouth.
"YOU HAVE GALL TO TELL SILKY ALL ABOUT DENNY AND ME!"
"She's not gonna say anything to anyone!" Nabbi grumbled as she gently lifted her behind to rise.
Da Ardie couldn't pass up the opportunity that presented itself. "You've got such a chunky butt, I swear!" She informed her best buddy immediately before kicking her!
Nabi wasn't thrilled by this development, but she held her tongue for her own good. Once again, she gently arose to her feet. "Funny!"
"I'll show you, funny little lady!" Da Ardie yelled as he smacked the poor girl's forehead sending her back into the nasty mud. "GET UP!"
"I'll do it if you stop beating me, for crying out loud! NOW... BACK-OFF, MAN!"
The enraged nineteen-year-old leaned down and helped the younger girl back onto her drenched feet. "Do not ever deceive me or any of us Rebels again! GOT IT?"
"Eyestah! Yep! Got it!" Nabi spat and muttered! "NOW GET OFF MY PROPERTY!"
"Little dork!" Chuckled Da Ardie handing over her personal field jacket.
"Thanks! Just don't tell Rocky you had to correct me, please."
"Oh! You can bet I will! Let's get going."
end of act I
act II
It was nearly two-thirty in the morning by the time the young teen Rebels had reached the outskirts of the KLR substation, and another shower was coming from the east.
Most of northern Idaho's late spring showers normally originate from northern Canada in this region.
Another thousand-pound shell detonated with ferocity in the far distance, sending shock waves roaring across the ravaged tundra.
The two young women dropped to the ground, simultaneously, covering their heads with gloved hands to keep them in place.
"JUST KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN!" Ordered Da Ardie. "I CAN'T AFFORD TO LOSE MY ONE AND ONLY BEST FRIENDS!"
"OH YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT ME!" Chuckled Nabbi, tightening the strap on her helmet.
The sounds of multiple machine guns added to the confusion, yet no enemy soldiers were seen.
"We have to go back to Whitefish from wherever we are in this state!"
Da Ardie gave Nabbi a strange look. "You were just crying earlier about having to pack up!"
A shrug on the shoulders came from Nabbi. "And that's why I'm going back on my word!"
"You're pretty weird, dude!" Smirked Da Ardie. "As the old saying goes, that is!"
A single Terraria R-998 half-track approaches the Rebels from behind with a deep, grinding rumble bringing with it a stale whiff of hyperion fuel exhaust and dust.
Nabi had an expression of worry as she glanced at Da Ardie. "I don't like the way that sounds at all!" Her voice was soft and low.
"I don't either."
Three mysterious individuals suddenly materialized from the rear of the substation maintenance building, each brandishing an enigmatic rifle-length weapon that neither Da Dardie nor Nabbi could identify.
The main protagonist waved his left hand, swiftly, dispatching the others in opposing directions to simultaneously patrol a far larger area.
In silence, the group dispersed and began a thorough search of the bombed-out complex of the tiny power station located approximately a half of a mile from downtown Coeur d'Alene, Idaho, the closest major city to Spokane, Washington.
Da Ardie moved back further beneath the concrete barrier, gently pulling Nabi along with her. The girls had gone undiscovered for the time being, but their primary compromise remained.
As the girls retreated, one of the intruders switched his course and headed right for their location, but the enemy saw nothing unsettling at that point.
Nabi nervously crouched beneath the remains of a huge powerstation service vehicle as a droplet of sweat slowly trickled down the side of her right face.
Da Ardie quickly adopted her best friend's idea as a trickle of differential fluid ran down Da Ardie's right check.
Nabi fought to focus her vision on the far end of the property, and when she did, she discovered three relatively little tool rooms within the confines of the massive maintenance garage.
The one that was farthest to the left and was almost completely concealed within the darkness had a small light that had been left on and it was doing a good job of lighting the front part of the small building.
"HEY... WTF CHUCK!?! Some cheese-head just... frikken farted over there!"
"EW!"
Nabi advanced to the front of the wreckage, where there was a pile of dirt, rebar, and shattered concrete.
She ascended softly to the peak, where there was a convenient piece of enormous round stock to grip onto.
Nabi hastily stretched out and grabbed hold of something unfamiliar and her large blue eyes grew even bigger! "Uh-oh!" She murmured over her left shoulder.
"What?"
"I just grabbed something and... and I don't like it at all!"
"What exactly is it?"
In the dim light, Nabi shrugged her shoulders. "It's soft and warm, yet, firm to the touch!"
"Take out your pen light and find out what it is, silly!" Da Ardie proposed, sarcastically.
"Oh ya! Right!" Nabi anxiously clicked on her device then quickly clicked it off in an instant.
"Well?"
"It's just a hand!"
"WHAT?"
The pen light immediately switched back on, followed by a tremendous bloodcurdling scream from Nabi as Da Ardie joined in close behind!
The youngster was dragged to her unsteady feet in an instant, nearly dropping her weapon.
"HEY, RELAX, LONESOME DOVE!" The stunning long blonde haired warrior encased in armor whispered as she gently grasped the terrified teen's little shoulders. "We're not going to hurt you! I swear!"
"YOU BETTER NOT CUT MY FACE OFF, LADY!"
"WHAT?"
Angry, Da Ardie let out a yell. "YOU LEAVE HER FACE ALONE, B8TCH!"
"FOR GOODNESS SAKE, WHAT ARE YOU KIDS TALKING ABOUT?" The striking intruder demanded.
Nabi was able to retreat one step, clearing her field of vision so that she could analyze the situation more accurately. "Rocket said you guys are out here hacking off the faces of the enemy soldiers."
"I have no intention of removing anyone's face!" The bewildered lady insisted, taking a well-unappreciated breath of sulphur-laden air. "How disgusting, for peat's sake?"
"Ya mean you're not aiming to extract our Reverso chips from within our skulls?"
"WELCOME TO BAR CHATZY! WELL, THAT'S A SPICY MEATBALL, ISN'T IT, PUNK! I DECLARE... LET IT BE KNOWN FAR AND WIDE!"
"Now stop it, Offutt! NO KID, I'M NOT! Why are your arms flailing in the air? Put them down, you moron, or they'll go numb!"
Enchanting lady rolled her magnificent blue eyes sluggishly in annoyance. "AND WHO IN THE GOLDEN IS ROCKET?"
"You'll need to back up!" Da Ardie said boldly.
"And you need to take your hand off that sidearm!"
"I'LL SET THAT LITTLE PUNK STRAIGHT!" Grinned Offutt appeared to be having the time of her life as she relentlessly bugged the little extraterrestrials. "C'MERE... BOTH YOU!"
Da Ardie took a step back, still clutching her 500 S&W Magnum securely. "I'm not taking my hand off anything, lady." She said with a smirk. "Let's get that straight! I happen to be a very VERY FOE-KING DANGEROUS... UNITED STATES MARINE, BEA-YACHT!"
A gentle feminine voice whispered out of nowhere amid the darkness. "Do as you are told, young one!" Draculia shrewdly advised as she came into full view.
The blonde lady gave a kind grin. "Girls! My name is Bathory Draculia Barthenheier and this is Constance Phoenix and Offutt Gourdo, the "WOLF PACK WARRIORS!"
"HEY THERE, SCOOTER!" Offutt flashed a cheeky grin. "YOU'RE BOTH MINE!"
Nabi quickly dove behind her boss, who was standing there like a peacock with a shiny new toy strapped to her side. "FUG-DAT-CHIT, DUDE!"
Da Ardie caustically lifted her palm till it met that of the six-foot-eight armor-clad warrior in front of her. "My name is Da Ardie!" She went on, turning her head. "There you have Nabbi."
"Are all women on Earth this cute?" Asked Offutt.
Constance watched hissing in admiration. "YES INDEED! You are both very attractive young ladies!"
Da Ardie realized who the strange visitors were. She then turns to Nabi and asks, "You called the number on the back of that comic book cover, didn't you?"
What Nabbi had done had taken her by surprise. She took a step back. "What comic book?"
"YOU KNOW WHAT COMIC BOOK, DOUCHE-CANOE!"
"What number?" She muttered, shrugging her tiny shoulders. "Maybe... WHAT DO YOU MEAN?"
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN...! WHAT DO YOU MEAN?"
"Can't remember." Nabbi confessed incoherently to no one in particular.
As Offutt Gourdo turned to face Constance, she erupted in laughter! "THE NUMBER!" She shrieked, slapping her best buddy hard on the back, sending her face first into the dirt!
Offutt quickly bent down to help her stand back up. "Sorry! My bad!" She giggled.
"Can't remember... right at the moment. Why do you ask?"
Now Da Ardie was really ticked off! "Does the phrase… "SHUT THE H*LL UP" means anything to you, Nabilji'en?"
"Just sayin!"
Da Ardie gently slid her gun back into its black leather holster on her hip as she turned around to face the other two strangers. "WHOA!"
"What the heck! I don't understand why you girls are so tall." Query Nabbi.
Offutt sent a gleeful glance in Constance's direction. "She thinks we're tall." That elicited a chuckle from her.
Constance shook her head no in response. "Well, we are to them, silly! Look how short they are."
"How do you shoot that heavy, bad-ass gun?" Questioned Draculia.
"It really hurts!" Da Ardie confessed to her. "Believe me! It hurts a lot!"
"I BET!" Laughed Dracilia!
Suddenly, a hail of bullets erupted from somewhere among the mist and rubble, prompting everyone to hopelessly leap!
Draculia was completely surprised! "Are they not a raucous bunch?" She laughed.
Just a second or so later.
"WTF in Sam Hill Mutterficker was that?" Shouted Offutt while extracting a two-inch long thorn from her right butt cheek, as she emerged from a thicket of briers.
Nabi burst into a fit of laughter!
"THAT IS THE ENEMY!" Reported Da Ardie immediately! She then quickly shifted her gaze to the right. "NABILJI'EN AMRAM CAMHURST! Please do not be rude to our guests!"
Nabi promptly turned around supporting a colossal grin! "What's your reason?"
Draculia hunched over and burst out in hysterics at the hilarious sweet child! "WHO IS THIS LITTLE IMPUDENT SNOT?" She asked, laughing at Da Ardie!
"Please avoid going there, ma'am! We're not even close to becoming human." Da Ardie strongly advised, with a whole lot of ego. "Nabi here is ah ... ah... mentally retarded Newberry Nymph from Chachetchianna Forest and I am a Wovevenstien Lake Faerier from Lake Mortify!"
"OH!" Draculia indicated, flinching unnoticeably. She could sense the petite girl's reluctance. "I see. Please accept my apologies."
"WELL... I do not like the little shit bird!" "I am absolutely certain," Offutt declared.
"NO! DON'T YOU DARE APOLOGIZE TO THAT TROUBLEMAKER!" Nabi yelled, pounding her little fists on her tiny round hips!
This time Draculia merely stood there, mouth wide open!
"There, there! Settle down Pugsley!" Scolded Da Ardie with a shake of her finger.
"YA RIGHT!"
Now it was Offutt who was hunched over and burst out in hysterics at the hilarious sweet child! "THIS MINIATURE DUMMER SCHEIßKOPF IS A RIOT!" She shrieked with a clap of her hands!"
Da Ardie activated her wrist-mounted two-way radio by pulling up her left sleeve of her digital greens. She cleared her throat and swallowed. "TANDEM NEST… TANDEM THREE... HOW COPY?"
A few seconds later, the radio began to crackle with some static. "GO AHEAD, TANDEM THREE!"
"MOM. BRINGING IN THREE FRIENDLIES… HOW COPY?"
Another little pause had passed. "ROGER TANDEM THREE. THREE FRIENDS... UPDATE HAS BEEN RECORDED. PROCEED...! OH...! AND PLEASE SLAP THE CRAP OUTTA NABI FOR ME...! JUST FOR FUN, OH COORS... OVER!"
"KAY! COPY! OUT!"
Draculia looked to her partner in crime. "How primitive!" She snickered with a sarcastic slow roll of the eyes.
end of act II
act III
The Ruby Ridge Rebels were back on the road by morning, beginning their perilous three hundred and fifty three mile return trek home to Whitefish, Montana.
The fact that they had completed their mission before the first snowfall was a blessing in disguise. In most years, it's over by the end of October.
The right fork led directly north, although it descended the Phone-Kawah range. An alluring yet perilous secret location that has been forgotten through time.
"Ya! I realize this path appears to be difficult." The Arkadelphia Stormtrooper, a Pillsbury Mini Elf with small fangs and long pointed ears, explained to the Pleiadians before abruptly switching and pointing in the opposite direction.
"Don't go that way, man!" She was tense! "OH DUDE! They're like... like... freaking crazy as h*ll in that neck of the woods, man!"
"What are you talking about punk?" Asked Offutt, cocking her head to one side.
"YO DUDE! They're like... like cutting people's face's off, en chit!" She yelled as she turned around. "I swear it creeps the h*ll outta me! And… and at freakin night! OH DUDE... MAN! I am 'bout tah cry!"
"Honey, how are you doing?" Asked Draculia with genuine attention and consideration. "Sweetie?"
Fast as lightning, Offutt made her way to Eidol's right shoulder. "Have a look at me! Just why are you so upset, baby?" She insisted in a maternal tone. "Come here hon!"
Rocket slowly slumped down on the shoulder of the road and wailed furiously into her palms. "I just lost my… my momma a year ago... last December 21st... in a plane crash!" She confessed, nearly choking.
A brief moment later.
"And.. and I just got the message saying that my… my Daddy was… was... KILLED A MONTH LATER... AND… AND I... I NEVER KNEW!"
Offutt immediately began weeping as well, wrapping the emotionally scarred teen in the safety of her own warm, nurturing arms. "Please don't cry, pumpkin… please!"
"I just… just wanna go home… is all!" Wept Rocket from deep within Offutt's tight, loving, warm grasp.
Da Ardie heard the commotion behind her and whispered, "Take lead! Rocket needs me!" into Nabi's right ear as she turned to help her cherished buddy.
"YO, Rock Star! What's the deal, dude?" She inquired tentatively as she cradled her younger high school classmate in her strong arms.
Eidol raised her head without hesitation. "Oh my God's grace, dude! I must confess that I'm confronting some extremely weird heartships, man!" She presented. "What's… what's going on with me? I miss my mom and dad, man! Sump'n fierce, too!"
"We discussed it last week. Rocky!" Da Ardie exclaimed, raising her small buddy's head with her warm palm. "You have been off your psych meds for nearly two days now."
She touched on the innocent child's severe psychological issues once again. "It's going to hurt, dude. They tried to kill you for a very long period by really messing with your head. That's why you bleed at night... all over your bedding. STOP FUCKING DYING FOR THEM, GIRL!"
Rocket nodded, making a hissing sound. "Ya. I know."
The courageous young leader's eyes were filled with tears. "I'm sorry, sweetie. You will suffer the agonies of withdrawal. Just deal with it, dude. There is nothing anyone can do to alleviate your emotional anguish."
"Ya. I know. I wish I was with Mom and Dad. Nobody here loves me... nobody wants me... and therefore no one gets me! Ya, know?"
Da Ardie drew a quick breath. "Please don't say that!" She then retrieved a well-hidden, secret goodie from her cammie's front right breast pocket that she had stashed away for a rainy day.
"Here! Put this in your pipe and smoke it!" She joked handing Rocket three long sticks of black liquorish. Her most favorite snack!
"OH, DUDE!" Rocket exclaimed, leaping to her feet with delight! "OH, MAN! Like… like where did you get these, man?"
Draculia turned her gaze along the abandoned roadway. "Would you like to go for a ride on the half-track?"
"NO WAY! REALLY!"
Offutt grinned inside. "Let's go! I'll give you the benefit of the doubt!" She offered nicely.
"ALRIGHT!" Rocket cheered enthusiastically as she accepted her new companions' offer.
With that, the two new friends raced into action, virtually racing to catch up to the sophisticated Pleiadian military assault rover.
"VANU6!" STOP THE MOVIE!"
In just one instant, the machine came to a full, dust-free stop.
When the girls got close, the back barn doors vanished gracefully out of the way.
"WHOA!" Rocket's eyes widened in surprise. "In other words… like… HOLY CRAP MAN!"
Immediately, she turned astonished eyes on Offutt. "It's like a real fluster cluck up in there! Inquiring minds need tah no like... like what the heck happened, Dude?"
"I'm at a loss for words, Stormy!" Replied Offutt gazing just as wide! She gracefully swipes her finger across the face of her timepiece communicator gadget. "Van U6! Is the mess at the back door area of the docking bay known to you?"
A dull metallic grey head, devoid of any distinguishing features, suddenly appeared at the top of an open hatch that had not been there a few seconds previously. "MINE OFFUTT! THAT'S ALL ME BACK HERE!"
Rocket let forth a loud, piercing scream at her sudden discovery of the two xenophobic androids aboard the alien war machine.
"WHOA!" She yelled as she ducked behind Offutt, almost colliding with Da Adrie. "LIKE… LIKE, WHAT THE CRAP DUDE!"
Offutt laughed heartily as she introduced her mechanical crew mates. "Meet, Racy10-4. Now this droid; she rocks! The pilot of the landship is a broken one named "Vanu6." She whirled around and winked a warning: "She's pretty fricken weird too!" She poked with a snicker.
"OH JUST GREAT!" Exclaimed Rocket looking up to Nabbi.
With a giggle, Nabbi smacked her small pal on the back. She then turns to Draculia and enquiries, "Why does she have no face, Drac?"
"She said that she'd rather have nothing than a head full of stuff!" Explained Constance Phoenix shrugged her shoulders as they strolled along.
"FRIC… KING, PHEW! This Bad-Boy stinks like a mo-jammer, up in here!" Rocket abruptly turns around. "Reeks like it's been strained through an old… frinken miners sock! What the heck gives, dude?"
"Pastium phosphorus is the name for it. Racy is really into chemistry." Explained Draculia, shutting off her nostrils using the tips of her long tan fingers.
Racy10-4's eight-foot-tall mechanical frameworks appeared instantaneously in front of the legendary, camo cladded, Arkadelphia Stormtrooper, where she extended her hand in proper a warm welcome. "What's up? Hello, I'm Racy 10-4. But you can refer to me as Racy if you like!"
Rocket's eye's lit up as she turned back to Offutt. "She talks and behaves like a genuine Elf!" She exclaims with a grin. "Holy nonsense, man! You might compare her to like ah... ah... gigantic talking snub-nosed bullet! Definitely awesome, Dude!"
"Race is the best Android I've ever built! Wow, am I ever pleased with her!"
"What do you mean?"
"I bought the Android kit, Race, on my wintertime trip to Titan."
"A KIT? WHOA!" Rocket shrieked as she analyzed her new friend more attentively. "This is far too incredible, man!"
"She even has a real-time body cam!"
"A body camera? For real?"
Rocket turned around to the other girls. "What's that show called? A REAL BODY CAM TV? No… OH… COPS!"
"YEP!"
"As in the TV show COPS? Like… like when one cop shows body camera footage of the other twelve cops like… shooting the h*ll of the wrong… fork… king SUSPECT?"
The lazy eye roll of Nabbi. "Yes already, Rocky! YOU'VE GOT IT NOW!"
"LIKE… 'SHUT UP, NAPPY! Wasn't talkn tah ya, either! I appreciate it very much!"
Nabbi recoiled slightly, startled by the seriousness of her little biddy's response!
She made a fierce snarl! "Oh, really! Incredulous! Did you also catch the episode when a certain cop plays footage from his body camera showing twelve fellow cops beating the h*ll out of some ignorant, fork… king, PILLSBURY MINI ELF!"
"GIRRRLS!" Warned Da Adrie.
Offutt yelped, "You Elves are so undeniably strange!" Falling to her knees she collapsed on the loading deck of the ship, grasping her flat belly in hysterics!
Da Ardie glanced towards Constance Phoenix, but her body language was blank. "YA! Real riot, these two!" She knew it proved to be a stupid idea, but she kept her poise and agreed with it nevertheless!
The Ruby Ridge Rebels were still wary of anything by midday. The girls' every move brought them nearer to their adversaries.
Canada's British Columbia was to the north. All accessible roads leading south were blocked and engulfed in a number of untouched woodland fires.
Farinata Blinkwurm detected the Slikwater twins and the final four missing Rebel's through her field glasses as the half-track made its way down Hearty Bass Mountain route, approaching camp Pepperdine at the well hidden Lake by the name of Mather, north Idaho. The eight-hour late-evening patrol proved to be chilly and wet for the kids.
"KIDS ARE BACK!" She yelled over her right shoulder to everyone who could hear.
"Outstanding!" Da Ardie silently sighed to herself as she turned and departed the alien war machine's cargo bay.
"TANDEM NEST... TANDEM SIX... HOW COPY?"
Da Ardie instantly reached for her AN/PRC-77 Portable Transceiver. "Go TANDEM SIX."
After a little period of silence, Silky reported in. "EVERYONE PRESENT AND ACCOUNTED FOR. ONE MAN DOWN. I SAY AGAIN... ONE CASUALTY!"
Da Ardie swallowed hard and dropped her chin, gently closing her eyes. "BRING HER IN, SILKY, AND PLEASE BE CAREFUL!"
Overhearing the radio, Nabbi had already had a medic kit swung over her shoulder as Da Ardie grabbed a wool field blanket and a collapsible stretcher. "Ready?"
"Let's go!"
The most direct route across the roughed ravine was through a thin breach that led to a partially concealed deer trail that ran northeast. Silky had seen it a few days before when she and Elky were assigned to get water.
As she slid under a protruding slab of granite, looking back over her right shoulder, Da Ardie advised. "Watch your head!"
"I can see it!" Nabbi demonstrated this by just squeezing herself around the stone outcrop rather than sliding underneath.
"That was easy!" She giggled as she emerged through the other side, unscaved.
"Sure, if you're 'INCH HIGH, PRIVATE EYE!' That I am not!" Da Ardie smirked jokingly as she swatted her pal on the back.
Nabbi yelled as the practically invisible route came into view! "Do not go near small hedges with red tops! They're covered with gnarly thorns!"
Da Ardie glanced over her left shoulder and acknowledged sarcastically! "OH, HOW GNARLY, DUDE!"
Nabbi burst out laughing!
Slipping onto the empty trail appeared easy for now, but the return trip through may be impossible carrying a stretch, so Da Ardie planned a more sensible approach. "We'll take the long way back along the creek bed. It will be easier."
"Yep!"
Within a half-hour, the girls had located their teammates and quickly realized the importance of the situation after spotting Amber Weighlighter's bloody field dressing.
"Oh, Amber! What did you do, you silly kid?" Da Ardie muttered as she reached out and gently grabbed her four-teen-year old friend's shoulder.
"It's just barbed wire!" Explained Elky.
"Yeah... and my stomach ache is from eating too many Luggerst berries."
Nabbi burst into laughter. "BUMMER! I have some pills that will kick that in the shins."
After around two hours, the members of the Rebel squad eventually caught up with the on-going half track and the remaining members of their combat force.
"HOLD THE BOAT, VANU6!" Constance Phoenix shouted as she dropped the ramp and lifted the back cargo bay doors. "WE'LL PARK IT HERE FOR A WHILE!"
The Pleiadian CAV (combat assault vehicle) came to a complete stop in an instant, allowing the crew in the rear to leave the bay area in preparation for receiving their injured seasoned warriors.
"Can you grab some water and fresh clean linen?" Asked Rocket as she unfolded an aluminum field stretcher.
"GOT IT!" Exclaimed Farinata as she retrieved her medical supplies from the squad's emergency rucksack.
Over the brow of a nearby hill, where a second, narrower deer route emerged, Rocket could see the others approaching slowly and called over her right shoulder, "ONE CASUALTY. ONE IS A WALKING WOUNDED!" She lowered her battle goggles and mumbled inwardly, "I'm praying for others!"
"GOT IT!"
"What can I do to help?"
"Get a fire lit, please!"
Upon hearing that, Offutt hurried around to snatch an available olive-drab army stockade bucket to gather anything that resembled wood to use as kindling then darted off into the thick sage brush.
"They're going to be hungry!" Exclaimed Rocket as she turned to face Constance Phoenix. "Can you prepare hot food? Please!"
"You bet, Jet!"
Rocket became paralyzed. "Rocket. My name is Rocket!"
Constance gave a pleasant grin! "Whatever! You're still the author of this unpleasant nightmare!"
"WHOA!" Without warning, Rocket's face suddenly turned beat red as she went off like a roman candle at a forest fire concert! "WHY YOU LOUSY, STINK... KING… !"
"ROCKY! GIVE OFFUTT A HAND WITH THE WOOD, PLEASE!" Screamed Farin still struggling with the collapsible field stretcher.
"... FILTHY, LOW DOWN, STINK... KING... KAY! SACK OF… !"
Turning around to confront the six-foot-eight female Pleiadian warrior Rocket antagonized her opponent with the tips of her fingers! "COME ON, BIMBO! SAY SOMPIN SMART! " She screamed in a squatting sumo wrestler stance! "I DARE YA!"
Suddenly, Offutt appeared out of nowhere, returning with a bucket full of great firewood. "That doesn't look nor sound very Lady Like, Rocket!" She snickered as she passed by the little four-foot, p*ssed off punk!
"KAY!"
"Just sayin all!" Laughed Offutt!
"ROCKY! GIRLS ARE HERE!" Farin shouted as she ran out into the distance.
"KAY!" Rocket turned back around, her gaze practically straight up! "Deal with you later, cuz!"
"DANG! Relax scooter!" Snapped Constance Phoenix! "Geez-Louise!"
Da Ardie and her damaged squad members were back on scene in minutes, eager to grab a seat and finally enjoy a hot cup of the Arkadelphia Stormtrooper's personal supply of good ol' southern Arkansas chicory coffee.
"I'm so tired I swear I could sleep for a fortnight!" Gisela K. Grizzly, a fourteen-year-old Russian, exclaimed as she emptied the coffee pot to the last drop of Rocket's homemade brew. "Oh my gosh... this is simply amazing!"
"PUT HAIR ON YER CHEST… HUH?" Laughed Nabbi.
Gisela tensed up and paused in her thoughts! "HOPE NOT!"
"WHAT!" Nabbi was teased! "You would look so cool with a hairy ole chest!"
Gisela nodded. "TRUE! However, it would also ob… ss… cure me, "KISS MY MARINE CORPS BUTT" tat… tootoo!" She burst out laughing as Nabbi joined in! "WE'RE SO, WEIRD!"
Nabbi straightened the clean gurney sheet and knotted it tightly at the ends. She instantly gathered Amber and tried to make her feel as comfortable as she could. "Dude, you need to remove your blouse."
"Not a problem!"
When Rocket saw her best friend, she walked over to bring her a hot cup of cocoa. When Amber's cami blouse splattered on the floor, her eyes went exceptionally wide! "You've got a frickin'... SCOOBY DOO WORKOUT BRA!"
She was so shocked she almost passed out! She attempted to address Nabi, but no words came out! She made no actual shoulder motion, just a lip movement as she attempted to shrug!
"YEP! Got matching cute shorts, too!" Giggled Amber. "WANNA SEE!"
The rocket stumbled and retreated! "NO!"
Quickly turning to Da Ardie and using a hurried tone, "Why did she... WHY THE H*LL YOU ASKING ME SOMPIN AS GROSS AS THAT, AMBER WEIGHLIGHTER?"
Nabbi snatched the Arkadelphia Stormtrooper's left hand in an instant, preventing the kid from reaching for her daugh! "KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF OF THAT... YA LITTLE BUTT-NUGGET! She yelled! "I don't tolerate such kind of behavior in this unit, LADY!"
She turned around hastily to speak to the assembled band of dogged but weary fighters. "AND THAT INCLUDES ALL OF YOU SORRY TURDS BIRDS! TAKE YOUR ANGER OUT ON EACH OTHER? FINE! HOWEVER... KEEP THE WEAPONS OUT OF YOUR PETTY ARGUMENTS!"
As she shoved the stunned Pillsbury Elf and close friend out of the way, Nabi murmured under her breath, "You should be ashamed of yourself, little dork!"
"YOUR LIKE… TIPPIN, MAN!" Snapped Rocket.
Da Ardie thought it was her responsibility to back up and share her opinion alongside her second in command. "I agree, ladies. Please hold on to your sensual emotions."
She gave the small field camp a cursory glance. "And it's just as crucial that we don't use language like Nabbi's example, either. I appreciate it very much... JERK OFFS!"
Confused squad glanced at each other blankly as Da Ardie was overcome with laughter! "Just screwing around, dudes!"
Offutt collapsed in hysteria in the back of the crowd! "SO... WEIRD!" She exclaimed as she slammed her fist into the mid-back of Constance Phoenix! "JEEPERS!"
Da Ardie realized how dizzy her slightly retarded sense of humor must seem to the others as she turned back to her patient who had been waiting patiently. "Ha, ha! Just kidding... forget it, y'all! Nothing more than my simple, stupidity." She mumbled, feeling a twinge of disdain with a sneer on her face!
"YO! Nice sports bra, Dude!"
"YEP! Got matching cute shorts, too!" Giggled Amber. "WANNA SEE!"
Lazily, Da Ardie sighed and rolled her eyes. "Enough already, Ditzel Fritz! This is going to sting a little, spec five." she cautioned with comfort and compassion.
This caused Amber to clinch somewhat. "Alright. Do it."
"Will she make it?" Teased 13-year-old Reanna Roxeen Ravenzhausnier, Amber's sniper spotter as she wiped away the little remaining dirt that had accumulated on the right side of her older sister's face.
"Maybe!" Da Ardie winked playfully. "It's really too soon to know at this point. I apologize, youngster! I had to tell you!"
"AWE! There! Beautiful once more!" Reanna proclaimed with a little chuckle.
Offutt hastily made her way to Draculia, who was at that same moment assisting Farin with some of the last meal preparations. "Drac!"
She leaned over her superior and spoke in a low voice. "Drac! The foolish girl just made an announcement, and did you hear it?"
Draculia froze, to which she responded, "About what, dear?"
"She just told everyone that the injured kid won't make it!"
"Excuse me?"
"Helping this kid is imperative! Her life is in danger! That's what the little prat just said! Do you sense anything? Can we help in any way?"
"WHAT?" Draculia was completely unprepared for this outlandish piece of information. "Because of scrapes and bruises?" She exclaimed in a matter of factly tone! "Well, this is history in the making!"
She turned and faced Farin. "Rather odd, is it not?"
"Excuse me?" Asked Farin, similarly perplexed. "Amber won't have any problems!" She stated, returning to her chores. "She only needs some time to go back to 100%, that's all."
As she made the rounds, Rocket generously shared some of the peanuts she had shelled with the others.
"Is there something wrong with that kid?" Offutt pleaded as she backed away from Donovan, filled with awe and indignation.
"Who?" Rocket looked around at her team mates.
"Look at that pretty young thing lacing up those towering boots with a zipper! Which, by the way, is yet another bizarre thing that has me scratching my… flippin head!"
There was a brief period of silence. "Oh dear!" Exclaimed Offutt, covering her ruby red lips with the tips of her fingers.
"What? What's wrong?"
"I'm afraid that I am beginning to speak like you little foolish humans!" She muttered.
"Like… whatever!" Rocket shook her head. "That's just Donni, man!" Suddenly, a scowl formed on her face. "WHY? Where does she go wrong?"
"I mean, just take a look at her! One of her eyes is yellow, while the other is blue. Whoa, what's up with this place?"
"She was born with defective irrisses and she is from Giverny, France. So I am looking for some color contacts to assist. I plan on talking to Racy and trying to persuade her to help me figure out how."
Rocket turned without hesitation. "Please, Ardie. Can we go into town and see what I can find?"
"SAY IT WITH ME!" Constance Pheonix grinned with delight as she passed by, overhearing Rocket pleading with Da Ardie and attempting to reason with her!
"Excellent thought, Fartstormer! Natural stupidity is the best way to reason with… ARTIFICIAL COMMON SENSE!"
Offutt could take no more of that and doubled over in laughter, gripping her stomach!
The Arkadelphia Stormtrooper turned to Da Ardie in a hurry! "Wha... wha... what the h*ll did she mean bb... by that?" Rocket jumped to her feet unexpectedly. There was no more way to calm her down! "COME HERE!" She commanded!
Obviously, Constance Pheonix was delighted to obliged by lowering herself to the tiny Pillsbury Mini Elf's height. "Yes?"
"LIKE... LIKE... SS... SERIOUSLY, DUDE!" Shrieked Rocket, hair smoldering! "WHA… WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, MAN?"
"DANG!" Roared Constance Pheonix in a fit of hysteria! "Relax scooter!"
"Just ignore her, Rocky." Advised Farin as she yawned and stretched out her long legs across a dead tree stump.
"AND STOP CALLING ME, SS... SCOOTER, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!"
The courageous Pleiadian warrior rose up and took a prudent step back. "Now, now!" She said giving a pleasant grin. "Let's not ruin our love affair over a little bit of fun!"
Rocket's eyes blulged with fury! "WHY YOU…!"
Just then, Da Ardie sprung to her feet and scooped up her outraged little pal in her arms, dragging her out to a quieter spot so that they could have a private little chat.
The girls approached the front of the alien combat vehicle, where Da Ardie had noticed an isolated area of vivid green wild grass. They both took a seat.
"Check this out!" Murmured Da Ardie as she unfurled a sheet of typing paper from her camisole blouse's right breast pocket.
Rocket accepted the hand-drawn map, straining her eyes in an attempt to discern the area and town names listed. "What the h*ll is this?" She reflected as she returned her gaze to superior. "STITES! What about, Stites?"
Da Adrie reclined and drank deeply from her mug of hot coffee. "Jim!"
"Jim?
Da Ardie nodded, a wink in his eye. "Eidol! Garvey, Jim! You remember, don't you?"
Rocket's thoughts wandered for a while. She recognized the name, but she couldn't locate him or recall any specifics. "Isn't he the mechanic on the hill? Near the Clearwater River's South Fork?"
"One and the same!" Replied Da Ardie with a sheepish grin. She said not a word, simply waited, hoping her little buddy would finally get it.
Suddenly, Rocket's face broke out in a broad grin. "Inquiring minds want to know!"
Slowly, she raised her head. "You mean, the hearse?"
Da Ardies father had purchased a 1959 Cadillac Fleetwood Superior Hearse and hauled it up from somewhere deep within the southern California area around Los Angeles sixteen years before.
Miller Metors' complete package! And what a precious treasure she was! There were just twenty made and she was dubbed, "BITTERSWEET."
"Dude, we're almost there! We'd be fools not to pick her up on the way to Montana."
Rocket was still wearing a Grabnie smile on her face. "I can grab her and meet you guys at the 11-12 junction."
There was a brief period of silence. "What do you think?"
"That is the plan. You'll need to bring Roxeen with you. "Informed Da Ardie. "You're about 18 inches too short to reach the brake and gas pedals."
"True. But will Roxy agree to it? You know how she feels about such creepy crap."
"She had better if she wants to keep receiving food rations!" Laughed Da Ardie, punching Rocket in the right shoulder.
"Well, in that case, the problem is solved!" Rocket snickered as he kicked her boss back in the right shin.
Da Adrie snatched her tiny pal by the neck and locked her in a firm yet delicate head lock just for fun. Rocket's laughing reminded her of a corpulent chipmunk hardily chuckling.
"I will need you to take Offutt and Constance with you on patrol first thing in the morning, to clear our way to the Way Weird north by northeast giant pumpkin Pinkertons trail!" Stated Da Ardie, grasping Rocket by his petite shoulders. "Kay?"
Rocket rolled to the tall green wild grass and asked in her most convincing Shirley Temple impression. "Why... you're poised to entrust such an important duty to little ol' me?"
Da Ardie collapsed to the ground next to her little buddy. "Dude, you are so freaking weird!"
When Rocket needed a rest, she rolled onto her side and propped her head on one dainty palm. "Maybe that's why you care so much about me!" She teased in a lighthearted tone!
"HUM!" Exclaimed Da Ardie, tangentially. "That, and I almost forgot to mention that you're still my little dorky cousin!"
end of act III
To be completed. This novel is now being adapted into a live-action film. The piece is composed in the manner of continuous prose. Updates are being made regularly.
USMC: 1783 RUBY RIDGE REBELS,
dubbed the "The Lucky Butt-Nuggets."
Captain: Gisela K. Grizzly
Gunnery Sergeant: Nabilji'en Amram Camhearse
USMC Junior cadet: Ruby Rene Ridge
Field Marshal: Farinata Soul-Drift Blinkwurm
Lieutenant Colonel: Da Ardie Sierra-Mist Blinkwurm
First Sergeant: Édol Beth Rocket
Corporal: Silky Reis Silkwater
Corporal: Elky Tarrie Silkwater
Pleiadean warrior: Leytenant: Constance Star Phoenix
Pleiadean warrior: Leytenant: Offutt Revas Gourdo
Pleiadean warrior: Leytenant: Dracullia Zenith Silvânia
Corporal: Reanna Roxene Rodenhauser
Private First Class: Amber Weighlighter
Private First Class: Brevail Weighlighter
"RUBY RIDGE REBELS"
The "Andrea Doria."
This Pleiadian combat assault vehicle is equipped with an enhanced Milspec 5606-1A HWS. (Hybrid Weapons System.) The upgraded MOKHEAD 400 complex has a night vision camera and cloaked quad 20mm gun turrets.
